God almighty. Last week’s Thursday night quizzes were a savage assault on your ears. I sounded like a broken vacuum cleaner. Made in Albania.
The voice was history, broken and ridiculous. Like an alien clown in a dust storm. Marti Pellow would have cried.
But tonight, Pellow had better watch out because the golden voice is back. Yes.
Once again I sound like your actual Dr Paul and its a dirty big relief. I absolutely hated sounding like I did last week. It felt like an imposter was in my throat, like I’d been possessed by the ghost of a ninety-nine year old bark-smoking sandpaper salesman from China.
Meanwhile, the bloke out of tonight’s music round cheat tip answer band has a terrific voice as well. And I can’t sing. So maybe he wins.
His name is Brett Sparks and the band is the Handsome Family. Here’s their song that’s in the music round at the Newsroom tonight:
The song is brilliant and, as ever, the recorded version is best but there’s no proper video for it so I’m posting this live one instead. The bonus is that the other person in the band (Rennie Sparks – the singer’s wife) explains a little bit about how she wrote the song.
I like the Handsome Family. They have lots of songs where darkness and death somehow translate into sweet country sounds.
To be fair, they sound a bit shite on this video. But that’s live music for you.
If you have the time, listen to their song ‘The Snow White Diner‘ (video below). It’s about a woman who kills herself and her children while rubberneckers gawp and deaf people just laugh.
Anyway, the main thing is: COME TO THE QUIZ. See you later.
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Detail: The donut was a half-pounder and the man 42 years old. His name was Travis. The prize for eating the donut is that you get the donut for free and you get a badge.
Travis was going great guns but halfway through, choked, started thumping the counter of the shop and then turned blue and collapsed. He died right there in front of a crowd that had just been cheering him on.
The article I read does not detail whether the donut shop sent the badge to his family anyway or, more likely, they would deem the challenge incomplete.
There was a team at the Safari Lounge last night called “Ornitorrincos“. what’s that? Turns out this is Spanish for “Platypus”.
No one you chose for death popped off in June. The entries are in for July, here’s the list.
The number of mentions reflects the number of times the person was entered. As usual, old cunt supreme Prince Philip is top choice but health showings this month too from Bruce Forsyth and Donald Motherfucking Trumpet.
I had a drawing contest at the Brass Monkey Leith last night where quizzers had to draw the moment of Harambe’s death (the gorilla at Cincinatti Zoo who was unlucky enough to have a 4-year old human stray into his territory the other day).
That 4-year-old was, apparently, keen to see the gorillas at closer quarters. Well he certainly got that. But he also now faces a life scarred by the day he was responsible for the violent death of a mighty ape at the age of four.
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