Category Archives: Joker & The Thief

Joker & The Thief, News, The Brass Monkey

Wednesday 10th July 2019

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Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Madagascar (pic round)

9pm – Damm 27. Jackpot £40. Cheat: Billy Ocean (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: Rocky IV (music round)

Cheat tips: First of all, here is the Billy Ocean which features at Damm 27 (9pm):

San Francisco? Yeah mate. Been there in ’78. For the riots.

Billy Ocean has been confirmed by professional scientific geographers as being the deepest, the biggest and the best ocean in the world. In this song he sings about the Caribbean Sea, which is wayyyy smaller than him.

Too cool.

The other music round cheat clip for tonight refers to the quiz at the Brass Monkey. It’s a film music round so tonight you have to name the film. This is one of the songs, which comes from Rocky IV:

This entrance was recently riffed by Tyson Fury before his Las Vegas fight with Tom Schwarz, which was cool. Also, Fury’s bout had a happier ending.

My own entrance music tonight will be somrthing less epic. I’ve been listening to a lot of Italo Disco this week so it might be something like that. You love it.

I don’t know if Shawn uses entrance music at Damm 27 but if he does it will be cool, cos Shawn’s cool. Maybe it’s Die Antwoord cos he’s South African and I just imagine that south African people listen to nothing but Die Antwoord all day.

Come on!

Remember, country’s about to be exploded to death by whatever Tory wank gets into number 10, so you might as well go out now while you can…

… before… The Purge.

Oh yeah.

Dead Pool July 2019
Dead Pool July 2019

Love,

Dr P

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bm winners
Winners live forever

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Joker & The Thief, News

Wednesday 5th Dec – Quizzes Tonight In Edinburgh

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Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: OMD (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £60 Cheat: Myanmar (pic round)

It’s midweek in December, the month that’s dominated by Christmas. All I’m saying about Christmas is don’t miss out on Cunto Cards – the only gift that’s guaranteed to raise a laugh this year

Cunto Cards
Cunto Cards. Utterly hilarious. Twelve pounds.

Anyway, Cunto is just the sideline. The main business here is pub quiz and tonight we have NICE QUIZ for you.

Here’s the tune that’s my free answer for the music round at the Joker tonight. It’s eighties Scousers, OMD:

I always thought the singer out of OMD looked like John Collins who used to play for Hibs and Celtic.

Whaddya reckon?

I hope you like that. It took over ten minutes.

Anyway, come to the quiz and we’ll all live happily ever after.

Yo,

Dr P

Remember to follow Dr Paul Twitter for massive thrills and fact action and Instagram for visual hits.

bad quiz answers at the Dr Paul quiz
One they missed: Tapioca

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Joker & The Thief, News

Wednesday Night Quiz In Edinburgh

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We had enormous jackpot wins last Wednesday, so it’s all back to normal tonight. Will anyone turn out? We’ll see later.

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: One of the answers in the picture round is Bulgaria

9pm – Brass Monkey (Drummond Street). Jackpot: £30. Cheat: One of the music round hits is by Nu Generation. See video below to hear the song.

The song is a remake of an old sixties number by Fontella Bass. I only just found out that Fontella Bass is a woman, rather than the name of a band which I always thought it was.

Every day… Learning like as student.

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Dr Paul's Blog, Joker & The Thief, News

Wednesday Quiz Info

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7pm The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Music round contains Midge Ure (see vid)

9pm The Brass Monkey. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Pic round includes Turkish Delight

I remember 1985 when the Midge Ure video came out and everyone was freaking out about the pin-screen thing.

I’m pretty sure they did a feature about it on Blue Peter.

The pin thing was a like a revolution of entertainment.

It was as if life would never be the same again now the pin thing had arrived. Life was going to be different.

The craze lasted roughly seventeen minutes and by 1986 your pin-screen was the most passe thing of all time. You were already a retard if you still had one, despite being the coolest kid in school a matter of week earlier.

Now you can get em in the poundy and if I’m in there getting shit prizes for the quiz and I spot one, I still always think of Midge Ure.

Such was the power of this video.

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Joker & The Thief, News, The Brass Monkey

Quizzes Tonight in Magnificent Edinburgh

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Vote for me, cunts!

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: the picture round includes an iguana.

9pm – The Brass Monkey (Drummond Street). Jackpot: £30. Cheat: the music round includes The London Boys, both of whom are, sadly, dead. (See video below)

Pure dance quality by the way. 89-style.

 

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Joker & The Thief, News

Wednesday Edinburgh Pub Quiz Info

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Two quizzes on the Dr Paul circuit tonight. Key info:

The Joker & The Thief, 7pm. Jackpot £30, cheat : Cristina Aguilera is in the picture round.

The Brass Monkey, Drummond Street, 9pm. Jackpot £210. Cheat: Jellybean is in the music round (see vid below)

Jellybean‘s real name was John Benitez and the 80s he brought club house sounds into the charts in the guise of pop. The tunes still stand up. Billboard magazine have rated him as the 99th greatest dance artist of all time.

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Dr Paul's Blog, Joker & The Thief

If You’re Going To Be A Twat, Get It Right

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Look, I don’t mind people being verbal twats right in my face.

Whether such twats are wrong or (occasionally) right, I can handle that. It’s fine. I enjoy the interactivity.

But I dinnae like snakey wee jizzers who sneak their fraudulent biros onto my posters, especially when they are totally wrong.

false spelling claim
That IS how you spell ‘believe’, dipshit.

So if this was you, then you are at liberty to go and fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself right into a dictionary.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Joker & The Thief, News, The Brass Monkey

Trash Talk Sound Like They Kind Of Mean It.

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Here is the informational run-down for tonight’s Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh City

The Joker And The Thief, 7pm

Jackpot: Stands at a rambunctious £90. That’s nice.

Cheat: One of the answers tonight is Spain (its in the picture round)

The Brass Monkey (Drummond Street), 9pm

Jackpot: Is also an awe-inspiring £90. If you had that all to yourself what would you do?

Cheat: One of the answers in the music round tonight is Trash Talk. The song is called Uncivil Disobedience and it only has five thousand views on youtube:

I don’t know if Trash Talk mean every bar of it or whether they are kids who are ttrying too hard. Either way, it’s a groovy way-out sound and I’m sure they’ll go places in the hit parade.

 

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Dr Paul's Blog, Drawing Contest, Joker & The Thief

Nigel Farage in a Garage

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I had a drawing contest on Wednesday at The Joker & The Thief.

The challenge was to draw Nigel Farage in a Garage. There are at least four different ways of pronouncing that sentence.

Anyway: Here are six of the best:

1. Infographic

This one goes for reductive simplicity:

drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (2)

2. Pipe Swap

Farage has a pipe up his pipe. Wisely, he is not smoking in this one.

 

drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (3)###2. Massive Dog

3. Massive Dog

 

This one renders the UKIP mastermind as a very massive creature that looks a bit like a dog. I like this one and I can’t think why.drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (4)

4. Think of The Children

Nigel Farage has a solution for orphaned emigrants/travellers/refugees/migrants/incomers (etc). Put them in a garage and make them watch kinky stuff.drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (5)

 

5. Plain Evil

The malevolence of Nigel’s racism shines through in this catchy number:drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (6)

6. The Winner

And the winner was this one which has got just enough sex-stuff in it but not too much.

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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.