Category Archives: News

Thursday Night Quiz Time In The City

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: Galantis (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Gordon (pic round)

The big jackpot finally went at the Argyle last week so we are Back To Basics for tonight. No bad thing.

The cheat music for tonight is for the earlier quiz (the Argyle) and it is a band, an artiste, an act named ‘Galantis’. It’s the most standard dance music ever but they’ve tried to put a story in the video. It’s reasonable successful – reminds me of Da Funk video by Daft Punk

 

Anyway, that’s all the words I have except that if you look up to the sky and look for that tiny pixel of the sky that contains your dreams, and if you just hold on for a moment, hold on for a moment more and wish your way to the stars, then nothing will happen.

I’m not a Bubble-Burster or a Debbie Downer – I’m a realist.

However if you take ACTION, like if you sign up to some charity that saves the monkey then stuff WILL HAPPEN and that will generally be that the CEO of the charity will continue to enjoy a £100k per annum lifestyle and the occasional monkey may get saved.

CHOICES

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Yeah. Also, remember to stop me and buy a packet of Cunto Cards  if you’re looking for that special gift for the foul-mouthed fiend in your life.

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto Cards 2018

 

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Wednesday Is Just Another Word For Winning

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Calum Scott (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: The Beatles (music round)

English: Wednesday

German: Mittwoch

Quiztalk: Day of Excellence and Winning

French: Mercredi

Greek: Tetárti

Great stuff eh? Ye cannae beat Wednesday in the same way that you cannot beat Brian Jacks at dips or squat-thrusts.

If you are under 40 you might have difficulty remembering what the hell squat thrusts are. Let me tell you, they were big business in the early 80s.

We were ALL doing squat thrusts.

Anyway: here’s the music clue for tonight’s quiz at the Joker & The Thief. It’s possibly the biggest load of shite of all time

The original was proper fantastic normal Europop but this turkey does his sad-business, spoils it and make a shitty video to go with it which is so heavy-handed it even washes everything out in blue because blue = sad.

This kind of over-obvious symbology along with what I call “the crying voice” are the reasons I cannae stand modern pop. Does my absolute nut in.

The worst bit is when you look at the youtube view count and you see a figure of nearly 300 million. All of those millions of people can’t be wrong… can they?

Maybe it’s me who is the wrong one. I guess we’ll find out before we die.

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Here’s the advertorial.

I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.

You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.

If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.

You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Best Sunday Night Entertainment Is A Pub Quiz

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Renoir (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Steps (music round)

Here are the things you COULD do in Edinburgh on a Sunday night:

  1. Go to the Tattoo. This is a bad idea. The festival is over and the temporary stadium has been dismantled. It is over.
  2. Go to the cinema. This is an awful idea. The plots are all the same and Tom Cruise just gets richer and richer for hacking out the same pish, repeatedly.
  3. Eat out in a restaurant. Nah. Paid dining has been revealed by scientists to be the single most disappointing way that modern humans waste their wages money. I can’t argue with scientists.
  4. Get tae the Pub Quiz. Yasssss. Thumbs all the way UP. Come on. Sexy time.

To be fair, you could also go for a game of darts and there’s not much negative I could say about that. Darts is barry, but I’d personally prefer it if you came to the quiz.

Here’s the music round cheat which pertains to the Tolbooth tonight. It’s Steps:

The video is when they used this power pop to ROCK Hyde Park:

And you can say what you like. Steps were great.

By the way, after a string of midweek jackpot wins, tonight is as big as the pots get for the week, particularly the £150 at the Tolbooth.

Roll it up and smoke it.

Yo!

Dr Paul

Still looking at this ? Try my instagram for healthy quiz photo feed goodness:

Monkey crew

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Proper Big Jackpot Tonight At The Argyle

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £210. Cheat answer: Tintin (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Albert Collins (music round)

So last week was a weird one at the Argyle: heightened jackpot but low turnout. Will it be the same again this week? If so, it increases your own chances of winning the big money if you attend and play the jackpot round.

The cheat music for tonight is for the later quiz at the Newsroom (9pm) and it’s a band called The Vapors. You all know the song:

That’s all I’ve got to say today except that I am still surprised that giraffes sleep standing up (used the question at both quizzes last night).

I fell asleep standing up once. I was on the London Underground. When I woke up I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I guess giraffes feel like this EVERY SINGLE DAY.

The rest of the time they must spend wondering how everyone got so small.

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Yeah. Also, remember to stop me and buy a packet of Cunto Cards  if you’re looking for that special gift for the foul-mouthed fiend in your life.

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto Cards 2018

 

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Wednesday Is The Mighty Eagle

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Carrie Fisher (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: Shostakovich (music round)

If days of the week are characterised by animals then surely Wednesday is the magnificent Eagle, with its wings spread wide and casting a shadow of its greatness across all the other days of the week, from its powerful position in the centre.

Whaddya reckon? Maybe Monday is a clever mouse? Perhaps Saturday is a big stupid lion. Who knows.

Anyway: here’s the music clue for tonight’s quiz at the Brass Monkey. It’s a composition by your old pal Dimitri Shostakovich

Tune! And some nice dancing to go with it. Young love.

Anyway – there’s not much more to be said cos its 1027 and that means Popmaster with Ken Bruce starts in three minutes and I want this posted before I go and get another impressive score just by standing in my kitchen and barking answers at the tranny.

I often get 27 or 30. How’s YOUR popmaster form these days?

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Here’s the advertorial.

I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.

You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.

If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.

You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Super Duper Quiz Party Time – Leith Walk and Abbeyhill

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot:£100. Cheat: Inspiral Carpets (music round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £90. Cheat news: Take That (pic round)

Yeah. Monday quiz. Yeah. Woop. Excitement. THRILL.

Meanwhile, here is a cheat clue for tonight’s quiz at the Brass Leith, it’s the Inspiral Carpets:

Power pop from the Madchester band who were usually better than the Happy Mondays or The Stone Roses. Ah – the good old days.

Anyway, let’s not get sentimental. The good old days are dead, like Hitler. Let’s move on and embrace the new, like Boris Johnson.

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Remember: tonight’s pub quizzes are located less than a mile apart. You could, feasibly, do the double.

First one at the Brass Leith finishes at 8.30pm and the second one at the Safari Lounge begins at 9pm (although I don’t usually hit the first question until about 10 past or quarter past)

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By the way 2018 Cunto Cards are in stock so stop me and buy a deck if you want to get in on the action. Or click on the image below to buy them online…

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto 2018

Yo

Dr P

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, people, or even check the Instagram

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday Night Pub Quiz Edinburgh

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Nick Drake (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Reese Witherspoon (pic round)

Come on now and get out of your lazy fat sunday sofa. Shake a leg. Break a sweat. Move a muscle. GET TO THE QUIZ.

You will be rewarded with intellectual stimulation, a drink and a chance to achieve legend status.

Here’s the music round cheat which pertains to the Percy tonight. It’s Nick Drake:

Nice stuff. Quality hippy folk sound. Drake never made the 27 Club-  he died when he was just 26 years old.

Drake’s death was an overdose and was officially ruled as suicide, although the singer left no note.

Don’t worry though, don’t be spooked. I’ve listened to this song for many years and although it’s performed in a minor key, it hasn’t made me kill myself. I haven’t caught suicide by listening to it.

Which means the quiz will go ahead as usual tonight!

Take note – £120 at the Tolbooth tonight. Yeah.

Yo!

Dr Paul

Still looking at this ? Try my instagram for healthy quiz photo feed goodness:

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Is Like An Epidemic

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £180. Cheat answer: John Lennon (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £100. Cheat answer: Snow Patrol (pic round)

Thursday just keeps coming. It’s like a dragon on a moped. Unstoppable.

The return to downstairs at the Argyle last week was matched with a good turnout and the big jackpot tonight will probably mean it’ll be busy again. If you can get in before half six, you’ll more than likely get your choice of seating.

The cheat music for tonight is for the Argyle and it’s John Lennon with this:

Great song – it was his first one after the Beatles and set some kind of record in that it was written, recorded and released all in the space of ten days.

===========================================

Yeah. Also, remember to stop me and buy a packet of Cunto Cards  if you’re looking for that special gift for the foul-mouthed fiend in your life.

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto Cards 2018

 

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Wednesday Wisdom: Go To The Pub Quiz

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £90. Cheat: Queen (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £150 Cheat: Bojack Horseman (pic round)

September is the golden month. Go out and enjoy the city for it is yours.

Wednesdays are back up and running normally, autumn leaves are just beginning to turn but summer still holds sway.

Celebrate nature. Celebrate Edinburgh. Come and drink six vodkas and have a fag. Do the quiz. WIN the quiz.

By the way, here is a cheat clue for tonight’s music round at the Joker. Once again it’s Queen:

Jesus Christ. This is not only peak Queen, but also a clip from the Greatest Film Ever Made which is, of course, Flash Gordon (1980).

If you have never seen this film you must watch it immediately. If you do so, not only will you be massively entertained, you will also understand me, Dr Paul, the quizmaster… as a whole person.

I’ve spent more or less the last thirty-five years playing this film on a loop inside my head. I think about it all the time. It is amazing. It’s better than Jesus Christ Superstar, and that’s saying something.

######################

Here’s the advertorial.

I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.

You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.

If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.

You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Night Edinburgh Pub Quiz Action

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot:£50. Cheat: Diana Ross (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £60. Cheat news: The B-52s (music round)

Top quiz action tonight. Heavy, sexy, powerful. Will we have an ABBA singalong? Unlikely but you never know…

Meanwhile, here is a cheat clue for tonight’s quiz at the Safari:

By the way, did you know that 1983 actually looked like this clip. This is not some effect to do with low-resolution recording and videotape degradation, the real world actually looked like this.

Thanks to developments in technology and politics, real life went hi-def in about 1998. And you kids complain if your skinny latte isn’t hot enough. You kids don’t know you’re born.

By the way – we have a winner for DEAD POOL in August. Old John McCain lost his long-running battle with death and that means that Tomas Sanders is a winner.

Dead Pool September 2017
Sep 2017 – the last time there was a John McCain Dead Pool surge

If Tomas can drag his ass to the quiz before the end of September he will receive a shiny £1 million scratchcard.

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Best prize for Dead Pool to date was £100 won by the bloke who predicted the demise of BB King back in 2015. Could this one be better?

Remember: tonight’s pub quizzes are located less than a mile apart. You could, feasibly, do the double.

First one at the Brass Leith finishes at 8.30pm and the second one at the Safari Lounge begins at 9pm (although I don’t usually hit the first question until about 10 past or quarter past)

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By the way 2018 Cunto Cards are in stock so stop me and buy a deck if you want to get in on the action. Or click on the image below to buy them online…

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto 2018

Yo

Dr P

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, people, or even check the Instagram

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.