Tag Archives: team name

The Excitement Of A Close Shave

People name their pub quiz teams after the funniest things.

I once had a team called “Near Death Experience On A Child’s Go-Kart”.

Image result for go kart crash child

I asked them what it was about and they told me they’d just been to a music festival in Dumfries and Galloway where they witnessed a child crashing and burning right in front of them on a temporary Go-Kart track.

I wasn’t there but the team swear the child was an inch from certain death.

The team were shaken but the child was fine.


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Sunday Night, So Bright, Don’t Fight. Quiz Glory Awaits.

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Leffe (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Westlife (music round)

Hey. It’s Sunday and, as I type, the weather is good. Take advantage, go outside for a while.

Then when you realise how tedious outside can be (nowhere to buy beer, nowhere to politely piss) then come back inside to the pub where everyone is your friend and you can get food and booze and win the quiz.

Here is a clip from the music round at the Tolbooth tonight:

Just like the Wizard of Oz, the video begins in black and white and then dramatically leaps into colour just as it gets to the good bit.

The good bit in the Wizard of Oz is where Dorothy travels to Oz and kills the witch and meets the Munchkins and literally everything goes completely bananas.

In the Westlife video, the “good bit” is just the chorus. 1939 > 2001

I mean, it’s a decent enough song. It’s the sort of thing that would have easily won Eurovision in 1995.

I’ve started properly listening to Eurovision songs for next month. The criticism of this year’s Iceland entry is that it sounds like a winner from the 1990s. It is predicted to fail to qualify from the semis.

My favourite so far is Greece or France or Cyprus or Moldova. Not sure yet – will need a few more listens. I’ll keep you updated because I know you care, deeply.

team name methadone madness
There’s Methadone To Yer Madness

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What Does “Tir Na Nog” Mean Anyway?

I had a team at the Tolbooth the other night named Tir Na Nog.

The fascinating thing wasn’t that they managed to spell their team name about five different ways in five different rounds, but the name itself.

I was sure I’d seen Ti-Na-Nog several times before in my life and I knew it was something or other Gaelic.

So I just looked it up and it turns out that.

Tír na nÓg

(that’s the Wikipedia way of spelling it, so I’m trusting it) is a “supernatural realm of everlasting youth, beauty, health, abundance and joy.

It’s Irish Gaelic and it comes from an Irish story where a human man (Oisin) falls in love with a woman from Ti Na Nog (Niamh) and travels with her to the land on a magic horse that can fly across water.

After three years he becomes homesick and asks to go back to Ireland, but when he gets back to Ireland he finds that 300 years have passed, falls off his horse becomes very old as soon as he touches the soil and dies, but not before meeting Saint Patrick and rejecting Christianity.

For the full story, youtube provides:



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Turkey For All

There is a team of three elegant young people who come to the Cellar Monkey every week and they use the same team name every week, they’re called Turkey For All.

Great name, but what does it mean?

I finally got round to asking them the other Thursday and I was surprised I hadn’t guessed that it’s a reference to this moment of genius from the early days of Family Fortunes:

Apparently the chap answering the questions second had overheard the answer “chicken” in the first round and reasoned that Turkey must be an answer if chicken had been an answer.

Decent play, decent strategy… but so badly executed.

He’s probably dead now.

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The Utter Disappointment of The New Team Name

The TALENTLESS HACKS come to the Newsroom every week, that is when they’re not over in China exploiting the human and financial resources of that great country.

Anyway, I found the TALENTLESS HACKS very excited one thursday night as I was handing out quiz sheets. Why the grinning and the excitement? Because, they told me, they were trying a new team name.

I say “Great. So what are you called now?” and they say

“You’ll have to wait and see”

So I was pretty excited too. But imagine my disappointment when we got to the end of round one, the answer sheets were handed in and there was the TALENTLESS HACKS new team name…


Quiz Quiztofferson?

Do me a favour. That’s nearly as hackneyed as NORFOLK AND CHANCE.

It must be noted that since this fucked up incident, the TALENTLESS HACKS have reverted to their known and loved team name.

As Ghandi said “Experimentation is a good thing – but not always with good outcomes.”

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