Category Archives: Team Names

The Excitement Of A Close Shave

People name their pub quiz teams after the funniest things.

I once had a team called “Near Death Experience On A Child’s Go-Kart”.

Image result for go kart crash child

I asked them what it was about and they told me they’d just been to a music festival in Dumfries and Galloway where they witnessed a child crashing and burning right in front of them on a temporary Go-Kart track.

I wasn’t there but the team swear the child was an inch from certain death.

The team were shaken but the child was fine.


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Sunday, March, Protest, Quiz, Win

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Mah Jong (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Julian Cope (music round)

Sunday. You can march along Princes Street for women’s rights in the afternoon then come to the quiz afterwards and win the money, blow those MEN out of the water.

Which men? The men that make up BLUE FOX TUESDAY, who are threatening to win another seasonal championship at the Persevere.

Blue Fox Tuesday Pub Quiz Champs
Blue Fox Tuesday – Sometimes Invulnerable

Tonight’s cheat music is Julian Cope (for the Tolbooth Tavern) with an interesting take on suicide bombers. It’s titled: ‘All The Blowing-Themselves-Up Motherfuckers (Will Realise The Minute They Die That They Were Suckers)‘.

No official video as Cope in a not a bankrolled mega-artist, but someone has put the song to some footage from Afghanistan. Here’s a non-reality version if you would like to hear the song but avoid the gore:

If you ARE actually a suicide bomber, then don’t. All you do is kill people and make a mess. Everyone is sad and nothing gets fixed.

Come to the quiz instead and win booze and money! Everyone is happy and all problems are solved.

pub quiz team name queef richards
The Rolling Stones Laad Stinker
pub quiz team name putin on the ritz
Punday Night Quiz Team Name



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Winning is happiness

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Sunday Night, So Bright, Don’t Fight. Quiz Glory Awaits.

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Leffe (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Westlife (music round)

Hey. It’s Sunday and, as I type, the weather is good. Take advantage, go outside for a while.

Then when you realise how tedious outside can be (nowhere to buy beer, nowhere to politely piss) then come back inside to the pub where everyone is your friend and you can get food and booze and win the quiz.

Here is a clip from the music round at the Tolbooth tonight:

Just like the Wizard of Oz, the video begins in black and white and then dramatically leaps into colour just as it gets to the good bit.

The good bit in the Wizard of Oz is where Dorothy travels to Oz and kills the witch and meets the Munchkins and literally everything goes completely bananas.

In the Westlife video, the “good bit” is just the chorus. 1939 > 2001

I mean, it’s a decent enough song. It’s the sort of thing that would have easily won Eurovision in 1995.

I’ve started properly listening to Eurovision songs for next month. The criticism of this year’s Iceland entry is that it sounds like a winner from the 1990s. It is predicted to fail to qualify from the semis.

My favourite so far is Greece or France or Cyprus or Moldova. Not sure yet – will need a few more listens. I’ll keep you updated because I know you care, deeply.

team name methadone madness
There’s Methadone To Yer Madness

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Justice Comes In Hashtags

We had these Americans in at the Newsroom a wee while ago and they were called #justiceforbradswife. They even had a T-shirt to go with their team name:

justice for brads wife

I asked them what this was about. I probably did in a Tom Selleck accent with extra-septic emphasis like:

“Hey buddy, what the heeeeyelll is that about? Pardner? Yee hah!”

They wouldn’t explain but said to look online and that I would see a hilarious story. So here I am, several months later, finally getting round to my investigation.


  • Some guy’s wife got sacked at a restaurant chain in the US.
  • husband goes mental about it on the internet.
  • Internet responds by creating giant hashtag war on the chain.

Who knows what happened in the end? I ran out of giving-a-fuck pretty quickly.

The American in the Newsroom promised hilarity but I think in all the links I have found in the last ten minutes or so I have not ACTUALLY laughed. It’s not really that funny. Someone gote

But then, I am now forty-five years old. When you’re 45 you still laugh at people falling down escalators, but very little else. Seen it all before


Poor show

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