Tag Archives: Edinburgh pub quiz

Mega Wednesday For Mega People

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £60. Cheat: AC Milan (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £60 Cheat: Rascal Flatts (music round)

Here’s the music round cheat for the Monkey:

God it’s fucking awful.

It’s modern country music which equals = sentimentality multiplied by patriotism and raised to the power of schmaltz.

The youtube comments are full of people who have “lost people” to cancer etc. If you like reading shit like “Take A Break” and “Love It!” magazine, you’ll gorge on these comments like a gannet eating a discarded fish supper at North Berwick.

I understand it, but personally it makes me feel like killing myself by jumping into a vat of Golden Syrup.

Luckily, being a music round clip, the pain of this audio-diabetes will be limited to around one twenty-second clip. Twice.

Actually, three times if you count the bit where I do the answers but usually I’m talking at that point so the glucose will be thinned out with my horrific cynicism.

Bit of a cunt’s choice.

Speaking of which Cunto cards are back in stock and I will have a few decks with me tonight if you’re looking for a pack.

Yo!

Dr P

Related image

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Night Quiz Action in Edinburgh

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £90. Cheat answer: Galaxian (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Alicia Keys (pic round)

The music cheat for the Newsroom tonight is Alicia Keys.

The video is great. It starts off with Alicia Keys looking AWKWARD in her boots but this is soon forgotten as she hits the streets and reveals herself as a superhero who can HEAL DOGS with a single touch.

Then she rides a bmw motorcycle to an ABANDONED INDUSTRIAL FACILITY to pump her piano and then nearly busts some guy’s face with her mysterious powers which in turn make her CRY.

Brilliant.

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OOH YEAH

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Big Jackpot Alert: £200 at Newsroom Tonight

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: Benito Mussolini (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £200. Cheat answer: Suede (music round)

Super TWO HUNDRED quid vibes at the Newsroom tonight. Get your hands on the do re mi.

By the way I have double-checked the info above. These ARE the correct cheats this week.

Here is the music round cheat for the Newsroom:

Totally great. Suede were fantastic. Maybe the last good band before I stopped caring about guitar bands and refocused my brain towards pop.

The video has KPs and binmen, is full of rubbish and backstreet shite in it and still makes the city look sexy. Nice work.

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You never know your luck

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Wednesday Pub Quiz Action With Your Old Pal Dr Paul

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £60. Cheat: 5ive (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: Blink 182 (pic round)

Here’s the music round cheat for the Joker:

Not their best song, likes.

I’m behind schedule today so no more chat, except a reminder to buy Cunto cards if you haven’t already. I usually have a couple of packs with me at the quiz or you can order them online:

http://cunto.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/cunto-cards-april-4-4.jpg

Get in quick cos I have an advert going in Viz in a few days and I only have a few packs left of the original run…

Hope to see you at the quiz tonight

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Night’s All Right For Quizzing

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £90. Cheat answer: Beck (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £150. Cheat answer: Burning Man (pic round)

Tonight’s Thursday pub quiz action in the great town of Edinburgh offer you the sanctity of victory.

Not at all costs. We must remember that we are members of a civilization and at the moment our inner dragon commands murder, we must use our top-brains to resist such base urge.

Especially just to win a pub quiz. Jeez. Imagine being sent down for life imprisonment because you killed someone who was doing better than you at the pub quiz.

THINK!

IT’S NOT WORTH IT

Meanwhile, here is the cheat answer for the music round at Here’s their song that’s in the music round at the Argyle tonight:

It’s hoary old campaigner Beck, but back in the day when he was good. Bands and singers often go like that, you know: ace when young and shite later.

Not quizmasters – we get better as we get older.

I’ve posted some poor pop videos recently but this one’s great. All cut up and senseless. Nice.

See you at the quiz. Did you notice the jackpots tonight? £90 and £150. That’s decent.

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Voice Better. Come And Enjoy The Golden Tones.

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £60. Cheat answer: Benito Mussolini (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £100. Cheat answer: The Handsome Family (music round)

God almighty. Last week’s Thursday night quizzes were a savage assault on your ears. I sounded like a broken vacuum cleaner. Made in Albania.

The voice was history, broken and ridiculous. Like an alien clown in a dust storm. Marti Pellow would have cried.

But tonight, Pellow had better watch out because the golden voice is back. Yes.

Once again I sound like your actual Dr Paul and its a dirty big relief. I absolutely hated sounding like I did last week. It felt like an imposter was in my throat, like I’d been possessed by the ghost of a ninety-nine year old bark-smoking sandpaper salesman from China.

Meanwhile, the bloke out of tonight’s music round cheat tip answer band has a terrific voice as well. And I can’t sing. So maybe he wins.

His name is Brett Sparks and the band is the Handsome Family. Here’s their song that’s in the music round at the Newsroom tonight:

The song is brilliant and, as ever, the recorded version is best but there’s no proper video for it so I’m posting this live one instead. The bonus is that the other person in the band (Rennie Sparks – the singer’s wife) explains a little bit about how she wrote the song.

I like the Handsome Family. They have lots of songs where darkness and death somehow translate into sweet country sounds.

To be fair, they sound a bit shite on this video. But that’s live music for you.

If you have the time, listen to their song ‘The Snow White Diner‘ (video below). It’s about a woman who kills herself and her children while rubberneckers gawp and deaf people just laugh.

 

Anyway, the main thing is: COME TO THE QUIZ. See you later.

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Sunday Satisfaction

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: The Horrors (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £150. Cheat: French (pic round)

Sunday is a good day but the music round clue for tonight at the Percy is a bit meh. Here it is:

It goes on a bit. Listen to twenty seconds of it and you’ll get the idea.

I have nothing to say except that Dale Winton was better than Verne Troyer who was, in turn, better than Avicii.

I don’t think anyone had any of them in Dead Pool.

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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Night Pub Quiz Action In The Great City of Edinburgh

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £60. Cheat answer: Stevie Wonder (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: The Netherlands (pic round)

Thursday offers you the chance for Marchmont middle-class niceness and manners or dirty city-centre cocktail mayhem.

Both involve a bloody good quiz at the heart of it. That’s the engine of this night out, the driver.

If you’re coming to the quiz tonight, be aware of the cheats mentioned in the details above. It’s like a free answer. Here is the cheat clip for tonight’s’ Argyle music round. It’s your old pal Stevie Wonder who was the Stephen Hawking of his day but with more groove and less interstellar physics.

That’s eighties Stevie Wonder. Good song. Solid pop. But not as cool as seventies Stevie, especially when he was on Sesame Street:

He didn’t just fanny about with Grover either, he also laid down Superstition with full funk force. On the street, for the kids. Intense:

MAke all your Stevie Wonder jokes if you like but let’s see Stephen Hawking doing something like this. ANYTHING as good as this. No. Didn’t think so.

Cool.

You know what? The mood is too high. Here’s a picture of the sefront at Prestonpans just to mute things a bit:

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Sunday Night, So Bright, Don’t Fight. Quiz Glory Awaits.

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Leffe (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Westlife (music round)

Hey. It’s Sunday and, as I type, the weather is good. Take advantage, go outside for a while.

Then when you realise how tedious outside can be (nowhere to buy beer, nowhere to politely piss) then come back inside to the pub where everyone is your friend and you can get food and booze and win the quiz.

Here is a clip from the music round at the Tolbooth tonight:

Just like the Wizard of Oz, the video begins in black and white and then dramatically leaps into colour just as it gets to the good bit.

The good bit in the Wizard of Oz is where Dorothy travels to Oz and kills the witch and meets the Munchkins and literally everything goes completely bananas.

In the Westlife video, the “good bit” is just the chorus. 1939 > 2001

I mean, it’s a decent enough song. It’s the sort of thing that would have easily won Eurovision in 1995.

I’ve started properly listening to Eurovision songs for next month. The criticism of this year’s Iceland entry is that it sounds like a winner from the 1990s. It is predicted to fail to qualify from the semis.

My favourite so far is Greece or France or Cyprus or Moldova. Not sure yet – will need a few more listens. I’ll keep you updated because I know you care, deeply.

team name methadone madness
There’s Methadone To Yer Madness

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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Jackin’ – Jackin’ The Quiz

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £60. Cheat answer: Japan (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Zedd (music round)

Thursday has dawned like a fat boy at a buffet.

Don’t get beat to the cheeses. Don’t let him grab all the ham. Snatch a sausage roll from under his sniffy fatty snout right now, before they all get grabbed. Run!

That was a trifle fattist. Whoa! don’t mention trifle.

Anyway, here is the cheat clip from tonight’s’ Newsroom music round. It sounds like modern pop music in such a pre-fabricated way that it might well have been written by an algorithm.

Algorithms might one day be sophisticated enough to emulate Jethro Tull but the Tull will have always been the ones to do it first.

Fuck the robots.

Image result for death to all robots

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