Category Archives: Dr Paul’s Blog

Free The Paedos

There was a team at The Safari Lounge on Monday called “FREE THE PAEDOS”.

I was moderately outraged, but asked them what they meant, what this team name was all about.

They said “It’s a Peep Show reference”.

Thing is, I don’t watch Peep Show, or indeed any telly at all – I’m too busy for that shit.

Also, if you look at the viewing figures, nobody really watches Peep Show either.

It’s one of those critically-acclaimed things that hardly anyone watches.

Result: If you call yourself something like “Free The Paedos“, there’s a chance that some of the other people in the pub will think that you are being far more nasty than you really are.

Moral: if you’re going to do references, either make them widely understood or make them not about supporting sex criminals.

Meanwhile, I looked up the reference. It’s more or less amusing:

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Monday Night Quizzes – Whether You Love Orange Soda Or Not

Pub Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: Dr Feelgood (music round)

7pm – Portobello Tap. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Kanye West (pic round)

9pm – Argyle Bar Jackpot £120. Cheat news: Gone With The Wind (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £30. Cheat news: Parrot (pic round)

Cheats

Here are the music round cheats for tonight

The first is for the Brass Monkey Leith:

These men are from Essex

I always used to think Dr Feelgood were American when I heard this song on the radio, but they’re from Essex.

Every day is a school day.

Meanwhile the Portobello Tap music round will contain this opus by Kanye West:

Michael Hutchence wandering around Prague like it matters.

Because it’s Kanye, Wikipedia has a whole page about this song, going into frankly unnecessary depth concerning the song’s meaning, composition and reviews.

What do we learn? This is the best nugget:

” It reportedly took over six months for West to draw inspiration for the second verse.[4][5]

I thought the guy was supposed to be a genius?

I mean, in 1998 me and David McGeorge wrote the whole of ‘Last Bus To Falkirk‘ in about half that time, never mind one verse.

And the cunt’s a billionaire.

Well, quarter billionaire.

There’s no justice.

Anyway – if you want to be a billionaire, you have to start somewhere. I recommend winning the jackpots tonight as a kick-starter.

Ooh.

See ya later – x

Dr P

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Winning at The Argyle
Winning at The Argyle



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Wednesday 31st July 2019

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £120. Cheat: SKunk Anansie (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £60 Cheat: Princess Superstar (music round) (

(Brass Monkey Drummond Street quiz is off during the festival)

Cheat Tip

Here is the Skunk Anansie song that’s in tonight’s music round at the Joker:

One of those pop videos that’s like a film, sort of.

Pop journalism is the laziest journalism of all and, at hte time of their success, the standard adjectival response to Skunk Anansie was that their singer was “scary“.

Now I tihnk this may have been because of a combination of factors. including the fact that she scowls a bit and the fact that she is bald.

I also have a suspicion that her being a black woman was also interpreted as being somehow scary.

After all, Sinead O’Connor was a baldy scowler and the press labelled her “fragile” or “an oddball”, never “scary”.

And why exactly was Melanie Brown pitched as “Scary Spice”?

Prince Harry was going on about unconscious racism the other day in Vogue magazine. I think he’s right.

However this does not mean we are pals.

Prince Harry also said “You are continually changing, and if you don’t think that every day is a learning process, then life is going to be very tricky for you. ” and while he might still be right about that he can piss off with his privilege, lecturing other people about having a tricky life.

In fact, all royals reading this can kindly get to fuck. You are BARRED from the quiz

There we go – I think I’ve covered everything.

Come to the quiz.

Winner, winner, winner, winner
Winner, winner, winner, winner

By the way – your last chance to play Dead Pool for August will be tonight at the Joker. See you there.

See you later,

Love,

Dr P

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scratchcard fail
scratchcard fail

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday 28th July 2019

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Fergie (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Duck-Billed Platypus (pic round)

Oh Sunday is the day, 
To eat a bacon roll,
Or a black-pudding roll,
And then go for a stroll.


Oh, Sunday is the day,
To exercise your mind,
To go along to the pub,
And see just what you find.

This was never a song by the Beatles. I just made it up.

FILM REVIEW

I went to see that film where the bloke remembers the Beatles but everyone forgets. It was all right but it had too much Ed Sheeran in it (several scenes) and far far too much James Corden in it (about 40 seconds) and for that reason I can only award the movie THREE STARS

Anyway, that’s not my job. My job is to deliver quality quiz questions to you at an affordable price and that’s what we’re going to do tonight.

MUSIC ROUND CHEATS

By the way, here’s the audio cheat for tonight which refers to the music round at the Persevere:

Gaye not gay

It’s Fergie. Not the hyper-succesful Scottish football manager, not the foul-mouthed Hamilton Accies fan, not the royal freeloader, but the pop star who is/was in the Black Eyed Peas.

Image result for fergie hamilton fan
The real Fergie

The pop star Fergie is from California and has ploughed a relentless path of showbiz since she was small. She’s now 44.

Hamilton’s Fergie was 71 when he died and held the undisputed record for being Scotland’s most foul-mouthed football fan which, if you think about it for a moment, is mind-blowing.

They say all the stories about him are true. That’s not too surprising because all the stories about him are exactly the same: Basically he swears a lot and gets chucked out of a ground or off a bus, and then continues to swear absolutely and completely non-stop.

So there’s something we can all aspire to in our later years.

Speaking of which – football is starting up again but I have achecked Hibs’s fixture list and there are currently no Sunday games at Easter Road up to and including the end of the year, so that’s cool.

Come to the quiz tonight.

See you there

!x!

Dr Paul

By the way – get yourself on Dr Paul instagram for top quiz snaps and Dr Paul Twitter is also there for those of you who prefer the madness of that particular platform.

Also: Want to quiz but have no team? Try our Meetup Group which can supply you with a ready-made team.

Blue Fox Tuesday – driving everyone mad for six years straight.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday 21st July 2019

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Luxemboug (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Marvin Gaye (music round)

Not so much big sport this Sunday compared to last week which had the world cup cricket and Wimbledon.

Still, there will be someone who wants to watch the golf. Watching golf on TV is one thing I’ll probably never quite understand. I don’t get it.

Anyway, that’s not my job. My job is to deliver quality quiz questions to you at an affordable price and that’s what we’re going to do tonight.

By the way, here’s the audio cheat for tonight which refers to the music round at the Tolbooth Tavern:

Gaye not gay

It’s Marvin Gaye who, believe it or not, was straighte.

Well he had a couple of marriages and some kids and he was a drummer. That might not tell the whole story. According to the 10 Surprising Facts about Marvin Gaye page he added the “e” onto his name to deflect rumours of homosexuality.

Really? Then why not change his surname to something more straight and macho… like ‘Smith’ or ‘Colt’ or ‘Glock’?

And why does it matter? Why do people speculate so much on the sexuality and private lives of singers?

For it to be something of interest it must, in some way, matter.

But why does it matter? Where does Katy Perry share her love? Where does Zayn Malik place his penis in his spare time? Perhaps if it’s an answer we like then the music sounds better.

I don’t know. Call the scientists.

In any case, it’s Sunday and I’ll see you all at the quiz later. x

Yo!

Dr Paul

By the way – get yourself on Dr Paul instagram for top quiz snaps and Dr Paul Twitter is also there for those of you who prefer the madness of that particular platform.

Also: Want to quiz but have no team? Try our Meetup Group which can supply you with a ready-made team.

dr paul newsroom
Dr Paul, recently

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Seal of Approval

This won a prize for BEST TOP at the Tolbooth Tavern last week.

A fine old joke. Nicely delivered

I don’t always give a prize for Best Top but sometimes if I have a prize spare and I spot a great top, then I do.

This chap got a scratchcard for his seal and I can’t remember rightly but I THINK he won bugger all.

Can’t quite recall.

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Popmaster Stand-Ins

On the Ken Bruce Society Facebook page, everyone likes a moan when someone is standing in for Ken.

It’s just not as good.

But it’s easy to criticize.

Ken makes it sound easy. Off the top of my head, here’s some of the things he’s got to do in the fifteen minutes between 1030 and 1045:

  • Make each contestant feel at ease and react appropriately to their faintly dull celebrity encounter; excruciatingly normal job or recent bereavement in a way that doesn’t sound too derisory despite the pressing need to get on with the quiz.
  • Ask the right questions.
  • Pronounce everything properly.
  • Immediately know whether a given answer is right or wrong.
  • React appropriately (i.e. giving extra praise for a very good answer – this is one of the things that makes him better than all the stand-ins).
  • Know when a half answer merits a point (this is a subtle skill and again Ken does it better than all the stand-ins – his own massive pop knowledge helps him make the call)
  • Listen to the producer in his ear for corrections or borderline decisions. (without breaking the flow).
  • Give people a fraction more of a moment to get an answer out if they’re not doing well (he is GREAT at this).
  • Play the right clips.
  • Remember to give the correct answer for listeners EVERY TIME after a contestant gets it wrong.
  • Rephrase a not-so-well-written question in a better way.
  • Be alert to cheating – and speed up accordingly.
  • Remember the contestants’ names (and where they’re from).
  • Sell the BBC tie-in with whatever question demands it.
  • Convince the listener he’s enjoying this. I mean, he obviously does, but there must be some days where he can’t love it quite as much and still he projects total positive sincerity about the quiz EVERY SINGLE TIME.
  • Keep the pace just right so the quiz finishes at 1045, not 1043 or 1048

And probably loads more.

Anyone can push buttons but fewer can present Popmaster properly.

Ken rules.

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Thu 7th Mar 2019: Quiz Action In Edinburgh Tonight

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: Mariah Carey (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Bad Company (music round).

The cheat answers for tonight include this song by Bad Company: It’s a song called ‘Feel Like Makin’ Love’ which is a song about a guy who really wants to have sex, soon.

This is from the 1970s when men tried to attract female mates via the use of wide-hemmed trousers. It didn’t work, the baby-boom crashed and the population took a hit until the 80s brought sexy back.

Anyway, as you do know: Thursday is currently MOVIE Thursday: I’m counting down the list of my ten favourite films of all time.

Here is the chart so far:

10 .Flash Gordon (1980)

9. Jesus Christ Superstar (1979)

8. The Good The Bad & The Ugly (1966)

7. Zardoz (1974)

6. Das Boot (1981)

5. The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)

4. Hair (1979)

3. Mary Poppins (1964)

This week:

2. They Live (1988)

Whoa! Aliens have invaded Planet Earth, have taken over, are running the whole thing… AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN REALISE IT

This is the concept of ‘They Live’ which stars wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper who uncovers the aliens and then faces a race to save his life.

This happens when he accidentally puts on some sunglasses which show the world for what it truly is: a shitshow run by intergalactic freaks who control your mind every day:

Image result for they live obey

It turns out EVERYTHING has a hidden subliminal but then THEY know that he knows:

Related image

Then there’s a top class fight where Roddy Piper forces the other bloke to wear the shades

Related image

Look, even if you don’t watch the movie – watch the fight scene:

I don’t even like fight scenes, but this is good. It’s also epic, as in long – over 5 minutes. This post explains why the fight is so long.

Are you trying to say you don’t like dancing penguins?

In lots of ways, They Live is slightly shite – it’s essentially a B-Movie, but I watched it again a couple of years ago after a long time and it’s still compelling and great and it’s one of those films that you are constantly reminded of by the real world.

Just do as you’re told, citizens.

Image result for they live

Next week: THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE OF ALL TIME

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See you tonight

Cheers,

Dr Paul

By the way: Dr Paul is on Twitter and Dr Paul also is on instagram. Enjoy.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Night Quiz Action

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £60. Cheat answer: Chef (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Pablo Picasso (pic round).

The cheat answers for tonight include this song by Chef out of South Park:


The song is about snacks but also kind of about his bollocks. This is why South Park became so popular in the late 90s. There wasn’t much else to do.

Anyway, as dedicated readers will know: Thursday now MOVIE Thursday: I’m in the middle of a list of my ten favourite films of all time.

The chart so far:

10 .Flash Gordon (1980)

9. Jesus Christ Superstar (1979)

8. The Good The Bad & The Ugly (1966)

7. Zardoz (1974)

6. Das Boot (1981)

5. The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)

This week:

4. Hair (1979)

Definitely the greatest film ever made. It’s got a pounding soundtrack, hippies who appear to live wild in New York City, life death, babies and LSD trips mixed up with the Hare Krishna tribe.

I think I watched this once a month during 1994 which is when my group of friends discovered this movie that by then was already a relic.

I was too young to be a 1970s hippy but I’d been vaguely fascinated with this subculture before. My favourite character out of ‘The Young Ones’ was Neil and what teenager doesn’t want to be Danny out of ‘Withnail And I’?

Image result for withnail danny

But this American film gave a new spin to my understanding of 70s hippies: they could also be cool, blag their way into high-society parties and execute some pretty nifty pre-rehearsed song-and-dance routines.

The film evolved from an earlier stage musical. Apparently the musical’s writers thought the film wasted the original story and was a poor adaptation but I’ve seen a stage production and it was tedious compared to this grand entertainment.

Watch it but don’t ask for it to make much sense at all until it gets near the end and suddenly there is a real and possibly fatal human drama on top of all the sexy foolery of the last hour.

If the movie didn’t thump you with big emotions at the end it would probably be worth a single watch. But the heartbreak keeps me coming back, as do the songs and the mad set pieces.

e.g:

The horse ride in the park for the song ‘Sodomy’

Claude’s trip:

The bit where Woof won’t have his hair cut for a short spell in jail and is subsequently interrogated to find out if he is gay. He sings his way out of trouble, of course:

There’s load more but you have to watch the film. It’s the greatest film ever made and I fear that I have left no room to improve for my top 3. I’m gonna have to think hard to come up with something for next week.

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See you tonight

Cheers,

Dr Paul

By the way: Dr Paul is on Twitter and Dr Paul also is on instagram. Enjoy.

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.