Category Archives: Dr Paul’s Blog

If You’re Going To Be A Twat, Get It Right

Look, I don’t mind people being verbal twats right in my face.

Whether such twats are wrong or (occasionally) right, I can handle that. It’s fine. I enjoy the interactivity.

But I dinnae like snakey wee jizzers who sneak their fraudulent biros onto my posters, especially when they are totally wrong.

false spelling claim
That IS how you spell ‘believe’, dipshit.

So if this was you, then you are at liberty to go and fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself right into a dictionary.

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Baby Animal Murderer Sheds Light On Outdoorsmans’ Terminology at City Pub Quiz

I had a fairly inconsequential (first round) question last week where I asked for teams to give the four-letter word for the young of a deer.

Answer: Fawn (The additional clue was given by the fact that it was the same-letter round and the letter was F).

However, as I ask the question, one guy pipes up with “What species?”

I reply honestly enough: “I don’t know… a normal deer?”

Later, I asked him what he was talking about. He said that if it’s a red deer then it’s not a fawn, it’s a “calf”.

I asked him how he knew and he said that he used to disembowel them.

“What?”

“I used to live on Knoydart,” he says, “We used to take them down off the hills and disembowel them. Big ones, and little ones too.”

The time to disemboweled by draws near.

“Was this for food?”

“Oh, they’re pests, they eat all the trees, and there’s millions of the buggers. There’s no wolves, see?”

“Ah.”

So, although there is no strict logical connection between murdering an animal and knowing the technical term for its young, I thought there’s a chance me might know his onions so I head to God (aka Wikipedia) to check out the straight facts.

Wiki gives us this:

"For most types of deer in modern English usage, the male is a buck and the female a doe, but the terms vary with dialect, and according to the size of the species. The male red deer is a stag, while for other large species the male is a bull, the female a cow, as in cattle. In older usage, the male of any species is a hart, especially if over five years old, and the female is a hind, especially if three or more years old.[109] The young of small species is a fawn and of large species a calf; a very small young may be a kid. A castrated male is a havier.[110] A group of any species is a herd. The adjective of relation is cervine; like the family name Cervidae, this is from Latin: cervus, meaning stag or deer."

So there you have it. Blood-handed, wild-eyed, mountain-roaming outdoors type is correct.

Question edited.

Database saved.

Job done.

Thanks.

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Dead Pool List for March 2017

All bets are in. Here are the runners and riders for March 2017.

As has been the theme for the last few months, it’s a strong showing for Donald Trump and Bruce Forsyth. Perennial favourites the Queen, Prince Phillip and  Kirk Douglas are all there too.

The exotica this month comes from quality old school entertainer Des O’Connor, Turkish president Recep Erdogan and show-twin Mary-Kate Olsen

All these people will dieventually. But will anyone pop this month coming? Pure drama.

 

Here’s the full list:

Arsene Wenger
Benjamin Netanyahu
Betty White
Billy Connolly
Brian Matthew
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Charlie Sheen
Charlie Watt
Cher
Clint Eastwood
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
Des O’Connor
Dick Van Dyke
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Doris Day
Elton John
Elton John
Emma Stone
Faye Dunaway
Francois Pienaar
George Bush Sr
Harrison Ford
Ian McKellan
Jared From Subway
John Cooper Clarke
Judi Dench
Judi Dench
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Marilyn Manson
Mary-Kate Olsen
Meatloaf
Michael Douglas
Michael J Fox
Mike Pence
OJ Simpson
Olivia de Havilland
Olivia de Havilland
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Gascoigne
Pele
Prince Phillip
Prince Phillip
Prince Phillip
Prince Phillip
Recep Erdogan
Ringo Starr
Shane McGowan
Sidney Divine
Stephen Fry
Stephen Hawking
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Val Kilmer

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Danger Danger

Writing a question about Louis Bleriot last week, I had to be careful that I worded the question properly to mention a heavier-than-air aircraft crossing the English Channel, as Bleriot did in 1909.

Of course, people had been crossing the Channel in aircraft 130 years before that, it’s just that they were doing it using balloons.

The first guy to do it was Jean-Pierre Blanchard, in 1785.

BlanchardChannelFlight

And it was while reading his Wikipedia page that I found today’s Wikipedia Quote of The Day:

He fell from his balloon and died roughly a year later (March 7, 1809) from his severe injuries.
His widow continued to support herself with ballooning demonstrations until it also killed her.

Nice.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.