Category Archives: Dr Paul’s Blog

Wednesday Is Just Another Word For Winning

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Calum Scott (music round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: The Beatles (music round)

English: Wednesday

German: Mittwoch

Quiztalk: Day of Excellence and Winning

French: Mercredi

Greek: Tetárti

Great stuff eh? Ye cannae beat Wednesday in the same way that you cannot beat Brian Jacks at dips or squat-thrusts.

If you are under 40 you might have difficulty remembering what the hell squat thrusts are. Let me tell you, they were big business in the early 80s.

We were ALL doing squat thrusts.

Anyway: here’s the music clue for tonight’s quiz at the Joker & The Thief. It’s possibly the biggest load of shite of all time

The original was proper fantastic normal Europop but this turkey does his sad-business, spoils it and make a shitty video to go with it which is so heavy-handed it even washes everything out in blue because blue = sad.

This kind of over-obvious symbology along with what I call “the crying voice” are the reasons I cannae stand modern pop. Does my absolute nut in.

The worst bit is when you look at the youtube view count and you see a figure of nearly 300 million. All of those millions of people can’t be wrong… can they?

Maybe it’s me who is the wrong one. I guess we’ll find out before we die.

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Here’s the advertorial.

I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.

You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.

If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.

You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Fresh Princess of Bel Air

I did a bonus speed-round last night at the Newsroom where teams were asked to come up with ten artists (bands or singers) with names related to plants.

One of the answers handed in by Quizlamic State was “Willow Smith”.

So I ask, “Who’s this?”

Willow Smith 2011.jpg

Turns out she’s Will Smith’s daughter. More than a few teams seemed to know this.

This raises a few WTFs:

  1. WTF is Will Smith doing being old enough to have a daughter who is old enough to have her own music career?
  2. WTF is wrong with Will Smith: having a daughter and then calling her Will(ow). That’s a Dick Move, officially.
  3. WTF! – when I had a quick looky-uppy it seems that Willow Smith is not yet 18 and that she released her first pop record (‘Whip My Hair’) when she was NINE YEARS OLD. What mad hot-housing is this?

She looks like him doesn’t she? But then, that’s how it works.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Quiz Fail

A woman phoned yesterday looking for a refund on a pair of shoes. Turned out she was looking was QUIZ, the clothes shop.

I asked her how she had managed to phone me. She said she put “quiz edinburgh” into Google.

Good.

I told her if she comes to the Argyle tonight she could win £60 – enough for THREE pairs of shitty shoes.

Image result for quiz clothing shoes

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Taking The Hump

I asked a picture question which was:

Q. Which city do you have to visit to see guardsmen dressed like this?

Swiss Guard at the Vatican
Swiss Guard at the Vatican

Well these are the Swiss Guard and they look after the Pope and all his dodgy crew, so the answer is the Vatican.

Seeing as how the Vatican is entirely contained within the city of Rome, I also accepted “Rome” as a correct answer. After all, you have to visit Rome to get to the Vatican.

But one team were sore aggrieved. They had originally written “Vatican” on their answer sheet but then scored it out and put “Venice” instead.

The woman came up to complain.

Her line of reasoning was thus: “We originally thought Vatican – but you asked for a a city and the Vatican is a country“.

I explained that the Vatican, whilst being a country, is also a city, the clue being that it’s called “Vatican City State”.

She wasn’t having this and re-iterated her initial point: that I asked for a city and the Vatican is a country.

I tried to say, in different words, what I’d said before.

She put her point of view for a third time. We were getting nowhere. It was like having a Brexit meeting in the middle of Heathrow’s third runway.

So I asked her if she was asking me to give her the points for putting down the wrong answer?

She re-stated the fact that they’d written down the right answer before scoring it out.

I said I can’t really go giving people points for everything they score out.

And that was that. She went off back to her table, clearly pissed off.

Except that, by the end of the following round, the team had left the pub and I don’t know for sure, but I kind of suspect they took the hump at my strict stance of not awarding points for incorrect answers…

… which is rich, considering I gave them the points for “Olympic Rugby” when the answer should have been “Wheelchair Rugby” in another picture question.

Sake.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Drawing Contest – Art McPartlin Pished On A Scooter

Recent drawing contest entries from the Joker on a Wednesday night:

The challenge followed the Ant McPartlin drink drive debacle and you had to draw the former idol, stripped of his license and reduced to riding a scooter, pished, down Leith Walk.

Some folk took that mean a motor scooter. I kind of meant a scooter scooter.

Anyway:

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Pub Quiz Edinburgh Wednesday

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £90. Cheat: Walrus (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £90 Cheat: Robert Palmer (pic round)

Two rollovers last Wednesday so tonight’s pots are respectable and delectable like a Tiger if not particularly enormous and thunderous like an Elephant.

The Joker is  a smooth silk hanky. The Monkey is a ruddy velvet curtain. Make your choice

Here’s the music round cheat for the Monkey quiz. It’s Robert Palmer (NOW DEAD) being all rock star…

Meanwhile, here’s me in a white jacket, promoting the idea of booze:

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Night Bangers – Huge Jackpot Monday

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: 250. Cheat: Mickey Rourke (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £240. Cheat news: DJ Sammy (music round)

Even bigger jackpots. Monday offers you the chance to get your sticky mitts on nearly five hundred quid which is nearly the amount of miles that the Proclaimers walk every week.

 

Here’s the video for a clip from tonight’s music round at the Safari. It is so pop trance perfect. This is how the heart beats, for real, forever.

By the way, my side project is CUNTO. It’s amazing and you can buy a pack now.

Cunto
Cunto

 

Who’s in the deck? Nigel Farage and 41 other utter Cuntos. That’s who.

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, mofo.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday Night Out At The Quiz

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: PJ Harvey (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £150. Cheat: Babylon 5 (pic round)

A hundred and fifty quid? You could buy twelve packs of Cunto Cards for that

Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Persevere:

FACT: PJ Harvey has an MBE for services to music and she is still the only artist (so far) to win the Mercury Music Award twice.

 

Hope to see you at the quizzes tonight.

Still Reading? Join my Twitter for more Dr Paul fun and wisdom.

PS – I miss this badge. It broke. AKB stands for AW Kunts Barry which equates to the Tits/Willies team at the Percy.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.