Recent drawing contest entries from the Joker on a Wednesday night:
The challenge followed the Ant McPartlin drink drive debacle and you had to draw the former idol, stripped of his license and reduced to riding a scooter, pished, down Leith Walk.
Some folk took that mean a motor scooter. I kind of meant a scooter scooter.
Anyway:
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Quizzes tonight:
7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £90. Cheat: Walrus (pic round)
9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £90 Cheat: Robert Palmer (pic round)
Two rollovers last Wednesday so tonight’s pots are respectable and delectable like a Tiger if not particularly enormous and thunderous like an Elephant.
The Joker is a smooth silk hanky. The Monkey is a ruddy velvet curtain. Make your choice
Here’s the music round cheat for the Monkey quiz. It’s Robert Palmer (NOW DEAD) being all rock star…
Meanwhile, here’s me in a white jacket, promoting the idea of booze:
Yo!
Dr P
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:
7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: 250. Cheat: Mickey Rourke (pic round)
9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £240. Cheat news: DJ Sammy (music round)
Even bigger jackpots. Monday offers you the chance to get your sticky mitts on nearly five hundred quid which is nearly the amount of miles that the Proclaimers walk every week.
Here’s the video for a clip from tonight’s music round at the Safari. It is so pop trance perfect. This is how the heart beats, for real, forever.
By the way, my side project is CUNTO. It’s amazing and you can buy a pack now.
Who’s in the deck? Nigel Farage and 41 other utter Cuntos. That’s who.
Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, mofo.
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Tonight’s quizzes :
6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: PJ Harvey (music round)
8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £150. Cheat: Babylon 5 (pic round)
A hundred and fifty quid? You could buy twelve packs of Cunto Cards for that
Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Persevere:
FACT: PJ Harvey has an MBE for services to music and she is still the only artist (so far) to win the Mercury Music Award twice.
Hope to see you at the quizzes tonight.
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PS – I miss this badge. It broke. AKB stands for AW Kunts Barry which equates to the Tits/Willies team at the Percy.
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:
7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: 200. Cheat: Chocolate Puma (music round)
9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £210. Cheat news: Othello (pic round)
Absolutely loads of money on offer at the quizzes tonight. The kind of money that gets Warren Buffet greased and Elon Musk hard.
Be part of it. Say you were there and be ready to tell the story about the time you went to both Monday night Dr Paul quizzes, won both jackpots and cleared more than £400 in Great British Pounds.
Here’s the video for a clip from tonight’s music round at the Brass LEith. It’s from 2001 and sounds EXACTLY like 2001. I think it perhaps THE most typical track of 2001. Even more so.
Except may Rui Da Silva, DJ Pied Piper and Roger Sanchez
The first of those three links is particularly 2001 because it’s introduced by Gail Porter and she references Jamie Theakston.
I think the sample in the Rui Da Silva song is Spandau Ballet, but I can’t quite place it.
If I wasn’t a quizmaster I think I’d produce electronic dance music, mainly built around samples of Spandau Ballet, Simple Minds, and Duran Duran songs of the early 1980s. It sounds like a decent way to make money.
It also sounds like an easy way to make fuck all money. I think there are quite a few procuders of electronic dance music based on old pop. I think it’s a buyers’ market.
So I’ll probably stick to quizzes just now. And of course, Cunto.
What is Cunto? Cunto is like Top Trumps but the deck is stacked with utter cunts. It’s my new invention and you can buy a pack now.
Who’s in the deck? Donald Trump and 43 other prime cunts. That’s who
Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, mofo.
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes Tonight:
7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: The Editors (music round)
9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £100. Cheat answer: All Saints (music round)
Phwooar. £100 at the Newsroom. Easy money! Don’t forget – Newsroom is the THICKEST PUB OF THE WEEK, due to the higher proportion of blow-ins and randoms rather than proper quiz teams. Come and take them on – take their money!
Meanwhile, here’s The Editors who look like they’ve just completed their course in reading gas meters and offering replacement ‘smart’ meters rather than a rock band. Just my opinion.
And they are very tiny, they live inside a lightbulb. This inspires no one. According to Wikipedia, NME labelled their sound as “dark disco“. Disco? Not much of a disco.
This is how white boys do real disco:
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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes tonight:
7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £60. Cheat: Renault Clio (pic round)
9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £150 Cheat: Martin Solveig (music round)
Two rollovers last midweek sets up a cheeky Wednesday for your pocket. One-fifty at the Monkey. That’s like.. great.
How about the music round cheat? Here it is:
This is a modern song but I like it. I thought it was much more produced, but it’s pretty bare. The video is good as well. Nothing really happens except a lift gets faster and people become more extreme versions of themselves as the lift speeds up.
You still here? Check ma twitter.
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Tonight’s quizzes :
6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Plan B (music round)
8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £90. Cheat: Natalie Portman (pic round)
Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Percy:
The video has a courtroom theme. I was immediately bored by it and the music itself. You may feel differently. That’s the wonder of human taste.
In the (near) future when everything is dominated by robots, there will be no choice or variety, no human moments and utter darkness and metallic bleakness wherever you look.
If I survive the initial onslaught of the killer robot soldiers I will long and pine for the days when something like “She Said” by “Plan B” was even possible.
So let’s not be too hard on the guy.
By the way, ninety quid jackpot at both quizzes tonight. Not bad at all!
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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes Tonight:
7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: Rudyard Kipling (pic round)
9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Die Antwoord (music round)
Thursday is a great day to come to the quiz. Take it from me. I do all the nights and I know that people on Thursdays are among the most sane. Maybe its just the bars I do on Thursdays.
The Argyle has sane young students with bright futures. The Newsroom has sane office people, holding lives together including full-on adult shit like jobs and relationships and parenting and making enough cash to afford cocktails and wine.
Meanwhile, here’s Die Antwoord who pretty much make the best pop videos. This one is in the music round at the Newsroom tonight:
Cannae beat Die Antwoord. Best band since Tatu and/or S club 7
Still reading – join my TWITTER for even more entertainment
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
Quizzes tonight:
7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Poli Genova (music round)
9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £120 Cheat: Saint Mirren (pic round)
Sloppy thirty early on, rigid one twenty on late shift… but loads more students. Choose a pub.
Quizzers are advised to stock up on fish with cheese sauce before the fray. That is thar BRAIN FOODZ/
How about the music round cheat? Here it is:
This was my favourite song from the only Eurovision I’ve ever actually attended which was a few years ago in Stockholm. What you don’t get when you watch it on TV is the sense of how mental the room went for this song. It was totally great.
My family and I are sad that we are (currently) not planning on going to Lisbon for this year’s contest. If I had the money I’d be there every single year.
I’m delighted, meanwhile that various members of Quiz Team And The Queens (who usually quiz at the Brass Monkey) are headed for Lisbon. Delighted for them, jealous too
Meanwhile, you do get the occasional thick cunt at the quiz.
This wasn’t the case other night at the Tolbooth I asked for the five largest cities by population in the Republic of Ireland. They weren’t thick cunts, they just got the wrong Ireland:
For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.
