Category Archives: Drawing Contest

Drawing Contest – Seals

My daughter loves seals so she asked me to ask you lot to draw seals if I was having a drawing contest. I did this a few times. Here are some of my favourite

The tusks make it a walrus, but its a good drawing.
Pop techno seal
The Kiss From A Rose joke
The only entry with a pun AND a skateboard
Looks like a ghost. Quality.
Like the kind of seal painting a caveperson would make (if they had never seen a seal and had no talent at all.)
Use of Colour!
Royal seal
Nice attitude and nice bucket of fish.
So cute
Professional Validation
The Kiss From a Rose joke (agian)
He died for us.

From Fez-wearing trickster, to actual Jesus, seals have got it all.

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Celebrities Shagging Snacks

A recent drawing contest from the Joker & The Thief (Wednesday Nights at 7pm).

The Challenge was to draw a celebrity shagging a snack. This was based on the excellent team name GARY LINEKER SHAGS CRISPS

Here is what you drew:

1. Gary Lineker – The Original

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-6

2. Harry Potter And The Bag Of Crisps

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-7

3. Donald Trump’s Taco Moment

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-8

4. Carlos Valderrama Pumping Refried Beans

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-9

5. Steve Jobs Shagging An Apple (winner)

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-1

6. Trump Dog

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-2

7. Nicolas Cage Shagging A Gummy Bear

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-3

8. Paul Hollywood Shagging a Cake

drawing-contest-celebrity-shagging-a-snack-5

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Nigel Farage in a Garage

I had a drawing contest on Wednesday at The Joker & The Thief.

The challenge was to draw Nigel Farage in a Garage. There are at least four different ways of pronouncing that sentence.

Anyway: Here are six of the best:

1. Infographic

This one goes for reductive simplicity:

drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (2)

2. Pipe Swap

Farage has a pipe up his pipe. Wisely, he is not smoking in this one.

 

drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (3)###2. Massive Dog

3. Massive Dog

 

This one renders the UKIP mastermind as a very massive creature that looks a bit like a dog. I like this one and I can’t think why.drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (4)

4. Think of The Children

Nigel Farage has a solution for orphaned emigrants/travellers/refugees/migrants/incomers (etc). Put them in a garage and make them watch kinky stuff.drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (5)

 

5. Plain Evil

The malevolence of Nigel’s racism shines through in this catchy number:drawing contest nigel farage in a garage (6)

6. The Winner

And the winner was this one which has got just enough sex-stuff in it but not too much.

a_scan_315

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Harambe – Moment of Execution

I had a drawing contest at the Brass Monkey Leith last night where quizzers had to draw the moment of Harambe’s death (the gorilla at Cincinatti Zoo who was unlucky enough to have a 4-year old human stray into his territory the other day).

That 4-year-old was, apparently, keen to see the gorillas at closer quarters. Well he certainly got that. But he also now faces a life scarred by the day he was responsible for the violent death of a mighty ape at the age of four.

Our art contest entries reflect the trauma:

  1. Lady Gorilla Is Saddrawing gorilla death5
  2. Proper Drawingdrawing gorilla death6
  3. The Way The Kid Will Remember Itdrawing gorilla death7
  4. Brutal, raw, uncontrolled (with small penis).drawing gorilla death8
  5. Primitive Styledrawing gorilla death1
  6. A Loss of Personality. Conceptual.drawing gorilla death2
  7. Somehow Includes Super Mario and David Camerondrawing gorilla death3

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Donald Trump Riding An Animal (Drawing Contest)

I had a drawing contest at The Cellar Monkey last night. The challenge was to draw Donald Trump riding an animal. Here are some of the entries:

1. Patriot Cock

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (10)

2. Eagle Collage

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (1)

3. Chinchilla Hairpiece

It was explained that the hairpiece is actually a chinchilla and it has come loose but Donald Trump is riding it. Nice Eagle, by the way.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (2)

4. Slug Creep

The one where Donald Trump looks a bit like Eddie Izzard, is mouthing the words “I want to bang my daughter” and is riding on a slug.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (3)

5. Squids In

Trump looks like a cross between Prince Charles and the singer out of Showaddywaddy. He’s riding a squid though, so this nearly won.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (4)

6. Pork Ridge

Amazingly this is NOT this year’s most offensive image of a politician getting a ride from a swine.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (5)

7. An IQ of Nine

The eagle in this seagull looks kinda like a pigeon or, at best, a gull.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (6)

8. Nine Eleven,Redux

Trump is flying an eagle DIRECTLY TOWARDS the iconic Twin Towers. Is it a fix? A conspiracy? We’ll probably never know.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (7)

 

9. Tilda Swinton

Donald Trump has never before been drawn to look exactly like Tilda Swinton. Until now, on an elephant.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (8)

10. Wire Pubed Kangaroo

Nice and graphic. Also likin’ the 13 amp fuse wire kanga-pubes.

drawing contest - donald trump riding an animal (9)

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Drawing Contest – Death of Jeremy Corbyn

I asked teams to draw the inevitable state-sponsored murder of Jeremy Corbyn. Here are some unpredictable interpretations of this predictable outcome.

1. Hammer & Sickle

drawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (3)

 

2. Rooftop Sniper

drawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (2)

3. Weird/Boring drawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (11)

4. Killed By Death  drawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (9)

5. Exploding Pig

drawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (8)

6. Tied To (Re-Nationalised) Rail Tracksdrawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (7)

7. Finished by Kane Out Of Mortal Kombatdrawing contest assasination of jeremy corbyn (4)

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Queen, Doing Something Bad

 

 

The Queen is the longest reigning monarch. That was established last month and I even had a drawing contest that was kind of a tribute.

This drawing contest happened in the same week but had a different theme. The idea is that the coverage of the Queen is officially that she is brilliant. But let’s face it, none of us is perfect. Surely the Queen must have done SOMETHING bad in her three hundred years of captivity?

Draw that happening.

1. Internet Piracy

the queen doing something bad (4)

 

The Queen here is using piratebay to circumvent paying for her movie fix. Bad Queen (with a massive cock and balls and a lizard tongue).

2. E4 to B7

 

the queen doing something bad (5)The Queen is the most powerful piece in chess. But even she cannae move from E4 to B7. No one can. Not Chuck Norris. Not David Hasselhoff. Not even Dougie Donnelly.

3. Child Abuse

the queen doing something bad (7)Here’s the Queen, accidentally-on-purpose smashing a champagne magnum off a child’s head instead of the big iron ship she’s supposed to be launching. This may have happened.

4. Still Bad in 2015

the queen doing something bad (8)It was the Queen who killed Cecil the Lion and it was The Queen who stood on Aylan Kurdi’s head and made him drown. That’s the vision of this contributor anyway, who had enough guilt to write “I am appalled that I drew this”.

5. Fast Food Murder

the queen doing something bad (10)The Queen shooting the KFC chicken. Seems a reasonable use of power, to be fair.

6. Humping Scotland Right Up The Stranraer

the queen doing something bad (1)Stuart handed this in himself after his team banned him from handing it in on behalf of them. But it won the contest anyway. The Queen is  shown as a massive lizard, fucking Scotland right in the arse (Stranraer).

8. Paris

the queen doing something bad (2)1997: The streets of Paris, a swan on her head, Diana last moments in front of her and an orphan being dragged to its death on a rope behind. Queen loving it, and having a drink.

9. Actual Murder

the queen doing something bad (3)Similar story, one of the more realistic renderings.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

When Cilla Rode Cecil

The recent death of beloved entertainer Cilla Black came just as the world was trying to deal with the loss of it’s beloved lion, Cecil.

As an act of healing and catharsis, I set a drawing contest at the quiz for quizzers to depict the cheeky Scouse singer riding the much-loved Zimbabwean big cat through the gates of heaven to eternal happiness.

Here’s what you drew:

1. Happy Go Lucky

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (8)Both protagonists seem fairly relaxed about being dead in this splendid naive piece. Maybe they always wanted to be together, and now they can live that dream… in heaven.

2. Cecil The Cock And Ballscilla and cecil (2)

This one is pretty dark and damaging. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. This gives you a fair idea of what some of the people who come to the quiz are actually like.

3. Colour Hell

cilla and cecil (3)It was a given option to depict Cilla and Cecil riding through the gates of the Other Place, as this team elected to draw. Nice use of felt tip which must have been luckily lurking in someone’s bag..

4. Art & Detail

cilla and cecil (4)This arty effort includes an effort to achieve an actual likeness of Cilla who, to be fair, was blessed with fairly prominent front choppers. Nice real-life detail where Cecil has been plugged by Walter Palmer’s arrow (40 hours before being finished off with a rifle).

5. Face Swap Manticore

cilla and cecil (6)The most confusing of the entries. I think there has been some sort of face-swap going on. The result is a bit like the Manticore on the inner sleeve storyboard of the Tarkus album by Emerson Lake & Palmer

6. So Happy Together

 

cilla and cecil (7)

I love this one the best. The dopey look on Cecil’s face is exactly how I picture friendly lions in my mind when I am asleep and dreaming. Cilla’s leg action lends the ensemble some proper helium levity. Terrific.

 

7. Blind Date In Hell

 

 

 

cilla and cecil (1)

 

Right, this one has Cilla and Cecil again facing hell rather than heaven. Rich on extra detail this work includes the teeth, the arrows, a cock and balls for Cecil and a Blind Date line up including Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson and Osama Bin Laden.

8. Welcome Home

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (2)Nice shading. So poignant. Forever.

9. Flying Seal

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (4)Cecil looks more like a seal than a lion. I wonder if while driving a car in real life, Cilla ever blew a seal?

10. I’m Coming Bobby

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (5)Executed in tasteful pencil to create a ghostly effect, this super-poignant tribute shows how Cilla is longing to get back to her late husband Bobby Willis, who passed on to the other side in 1999.

Since Bobby died, Cilla has had to face 9/11, The Boxing day Tsunami, The Japan Tsunami, The Second Gulf War, and Scotland’s continued failure to qualify for the World Cup… alone.

How she misses the Boaby is tastefully illustrated in this great bit of doodlin’

11. Pearly Gatesdrawing contest - cilla and cecil (7)

Plainly, the work of drunks.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

This Is How We Feel About The Queen

Last week Britain was temporarily interested in the monarchy as #longestreign became a Twitter hashtag and Elizabeth celebrated coming out from the correct fanny and then having an appropriate vacancy open up through abdication and death, meaning that she has become the de facto head of a particular country of about 60 million people for longer than anyone else has been de facto head of that particular country. Hoo fucking rah.

Anyway, to “celebrate” I asked teams to make a portrait of the Queen. Here are some of the results:

QUEEN PORTRAIT B SHARPSI liked this a lot. It looks exactly like Mutha Bacon out of Biffa Bacon out of Viz.

QUEEN PORTRAIT BEARDY MANI kind of ignored this at the time but now I’m thinking it should have won. It’s like the Elephant Man has been flattened by a milk float. It would make a great stamp.

 

QUEEN PORTRAIT JACKIE CHANThis was one of the “proper drawing” efforts. Aye not bad.

 

QUEEN PORTRAIT MATT THE CATA dark image from a dark mind

QUEEN PORTRAIT THREE SISTERSAnother “proper drawing” effort but this one has more charm, I would say.

QUEEN PORTRAIT UNKNOWNThe Queen is a dog.

QUEEN PORTRAITVery accurate

 

QUEEN PORTRIATShocking deathbed scene lays waste to any meaning Prince Charles may have enjoyed during his life.

 

QUEEN TEAM CLAIREThis came from a foreign team. I guess this is how they see her abroad… kind of like a lady version of Harold Bishop.

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.