Category Archives: Dr Paul’s Blog

Thursday Quiz Time In Edinburgh

Well, last week we had cataclysmic jackpots: £270 at half past eight for team Omni and £200 for Rubber Gun Squad a couple of hours later at the Newsroom. Less adrenaline tonight but still great quizzes.

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot: £30. Cheat: David Jason is in the picture round.

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: The music round contains Air. Hear the tune by clicking on the video:

No pop video available and live version is like waiting for a big barry double decker bus but then a C5 City Sprinter turns up and it’s just crap.

Do you kids even know what a C5 City Sprinter is? Jeezo.

In the late eighties they were these crappy little buses that went to places like Restalrig and Wester Hailes. If you ever got on one you had to merge fluids with the person sitting next to you. There was no space.

As for the sprinting bit? They went at the same speed as the other traffic.

Obvs.

Duh.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b4/df/8a/b4df8abdbda370c9cf3c60e1904efda0.jpg

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Who Knew That “Cock Or Ball?” Was Even A Thing?

Until two Wednesdays ago, I had no idea that ‘cock-or-ball’ was even a thing.

cock or ball
Cock or Ball? Myles style.

How it works:

  1. Turn away from the gathering, for a little privacy,
  2. Fetch a piece of your ballsack OR cock and introduce a portion of it forwards through your fly.
  3. Ensure that there is a great enough portion to be seen, but a small enough portion not to be obvious.
  4. Turn to face the gathering, present your portion, and challenge them thus: “Cock or Ball?” (see above for an example by Myles from the Brass Monkey.
  5. The assembly make their guesses.
  6. You reveal the answer (not necessarily the proof)

I have no doubt that at some point in the future, this will make it to Channel 5.

Did you get the right answer? It was Myles’s…

…cock.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Pub Quiz Action In The Great Village of Edinburgh

Are you in the village tonight? Are you a village citizen of the BURGER or La Leith? Do you need quiz action tonight? Dman right you do:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot :£100. Cheat: One of the picture round answers is Monet.

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: One of the music round hits is by Tame Impala. This is one of my infrequent concessions to youth although the tune is from two years ago, so to some of the younger quizgoers this will equate to Fred Flintstone.

Time spins slowly and fast and if you feel slightly dead inside after all these years then you’re probably doing it right.

The video appears to be a fan-made effort linking sequences from Twin Peaks to the Tame Impala song. It kinda goes. Makes sense.

Do you eat meat? Did you know that if you eat meat then an animal has to die. I’m kinda shocked. Maybe I’ll stop eating meat.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Justice Comes In Hashtags

We had these Americans in at the Newsroom a wee while ago and they were called #justiceforbradswife. They even had a T-shirt to go with their team name:

justice for brads wife

I asked them what this was about. I probably did in a Tom Selleck accent with extra-septic emphasis like:

“Hey buddy, what the heeeeyelll is that about? Pardner? Yee hah!”

They wouldn’t explain but said to look online and that I would see a hilarious story. So here I am, several months later, finally getting round to my investigation.

TLDR:

  • Some guy’s wife got sacked at a restaurant chain in the US.
  • husband goes mental about it on the internet.
  • Internet responds by creating giant hashtag war on the chain.

Who knows what happened in the end? I ran out of giving-a-fuck pretty quickly.

The American in the Newsroom promised hilarity but I think in all the links I have found in the last ten minutes or so I have not ACTUALLY laughed. It’s not really that funny. Someone gote

But then, I am now forty-five years old. When you’re 45 you still laugh at people falling down escalators, but very little else. Seen it all before

Verdict:

Poor show

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Comes Like A Sharp Blade

A sharp blade to the neck. You can only dodge the blade by escaping from your house or flat. You must go to the pub. This is known by the wise.

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: Old Henry Mancini is in the music round tonight. See video to hear the song. You’ll know it.

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £30. Cheat: The picture round includes Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman? Remember her? She was dead dead dead famous cos of Star Wars. That got in The Metro cos it was Star Wars.

Then it was a bit quiet then it was Black Swan which also got in the Metro because it was about lesbians or it had lesbians in it, or something. So that’s always money in the bank.

A quick read of Portman’s Wiki reveals other interesting stuff though. Did you know that she launched her own range of vegan footwear in 2007?

No, me neither.

Vegan footwear. How about that? You can keep the pavement out of your foot and a cow does not have to die. Fucking amazing. Go on yourself, Natalie.

Oh no! I’ve just read that the vegan shoe operation went bust shortly afterwards.

What about after that? I don’t know. I have now lost interest so if you want to know any more…

 

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Dead Pool October 2017

The entries are now logged for October’s Dead Pool

Shock new entries include Jane Fonda, Eamonn Holmes and Mary Berry

http://www.thamehub.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/mary-berry.jpg
Berry: Too Much Sugar

The person who handed in Mary Berry said the reason for his choice was “Too Much Sugar”.

Yes indeed. A little of what you fancy may do you good and a spoonful of sugar may well make the medicine go down but everyone knows:

TOO MUCH SUGAR WILL KILL YOU

Here are the rest of the entries for October.

(If yours is missing it’ll be because either you didn’t hand it in properly or your handwriting was so awful that I had to stick it in the bin).

Bill Cosby
Bill Nighy
Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly
Bob Dylan
Britney Spears
Charlies Sheen
Charlton Heston
Danny Glover
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Soul
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Eamonn Holmes
George Bush Sr.
George Bush Sr.
Henry Blofeld
Jane Fonda
Jimmy Page
Jon Snow
Joni Mitchell
Judi Dench
Judy Finnigan
Keith Richards
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong Un
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith
Mary Berry
Michael Caine
Michael Gambon
Michael J Fox
Michael Schumacher
Michelle Pfeiffer
Mick Hucknall
Mick Jagger
Olivia de Havilland
Ozzy Osbourne
Pamela Anderson
Patrick Stewart
Paul Gascoigne
Planet Earth
Prince Charles
Prince Charles
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Robert Mugabe
Robert Mugabe
Rolf Harris
Rupert Murdoch
Sean Connery
Skrillex
Stan Lee
Stan Lee
Teresa May
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Tim Curry
Tom Cruise
Tom Jones
Tony Blackburn
Vera Lynn
Vera Lynn
William Shatner
Willie Nelson

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/890673482870145024/ktoba5xb_400x400.jpg
Shatner: not amused by this shit

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

FATLAD of Northern Ireland

I had a team in the Joker the other night called FATLAD.

None of them were fat, but they were from Northern Ireland.

It turns out the team name is a mnemonic for remembering the names of the six counties that make up Northern Ireland.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Bv1n0yWwEj8/TG9Zg-rCosI/AAAAAAAAJTY/MooZxzaWnhc/s400/northern-ireland-counties.jpg

  • F – Fermanagh
  • A – Armagh
  • T – Tyrone
  • L – Londonderry
  • A – Antrim
  • D – Down

Obviously, one of these names tends to the controversial, so if you prefer, you can remember FAT DAD:

  • F – Fermanagh
  • A – Armagh
  • T – Tyrone
  • D – London Derry
  • A – Antrim
  • D – Down

http://i.imgur.com/KWpJaKA.jpg

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Machine

You want pub quiz action? In Edinburgh? On a Monday? Jeezo Sneezo baby, I gotcha covered.

7pm – The Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: One of the pic round answers is New Zealand.

9pm – The Safari Lounge. Jackpot £150. Cheat: One of the bands in the music round is Years and Years. See vid:

I remember someone recommending this video to me earlier this year.

And yeah, it is quite a good promo but not so good that I would be telling someone about it in a pub.

On the positive: It includes interpretative dance which is always welcome though much derided.

On the negative: it includes interpretive dance but is not Kate Bush.

I have no idols, no holy cows, no heroes but Kate Bush gets close. I hope I never meet her.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Thursday Episodes of Greatness

Cast off your failed=self to reveal the slimline, effective NEW YOU lurking beneath.

You may even win the quiz. Just fancy that!

Argyle Bar – 7pm. Jackpot: £180. Cheat: The music round includes George Benson. See video below…

The Newsroom – 9pm. Jackpot £50. Cheat: The Picture round contains Rick & Morty

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4ctK1aoWuqY/maxresdefault.jpg

I’ve been watching Rick and Morty since getting a breathless recommendation from a pair of hip cats earlier this year in some pub.

Normally I strongly dislike all tv but this is good. It has some great writing and great nihilism and not a little imagination. Pickle Rick is the best.

Meanwhile, what about George Benson? Well if there’s anything cooler than Rick out of Rick & Morty, it’s George Benson playing guitar, singing soul and simultaneously roller-skating, all in 1980 which is before you were even born*.

See vid:

*If you WERE born before 1980 then, ok, you cool. x

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.