Here’s a brilliant method which you can use to stop people thinking that you and your pals are arseholes.
STEP 1: choose a team name for the quiz.
No one likes you, Robin.
STEP 2: Check if it’s on this list of shite team names. If it is, then choose something else. Everyone has heard these fifty million times:
QUIZTEAM AGUILERA
NORFOLK AND CHANCE
NORFOLK ENCHANTS
LETS GET QUIZZICAL
QUIZ AKABUSI
…
There are loads more and you can tell me them here or with #dpquiz. I’ll add them as I get them to leave this blog page as a lasting monument to awful pub quiz team names.
This month it took me a while to get round to fixing up Aril’s best efforts. Here they are in my humble, unworthy, shitty little opinion.
If yours’ isn’t there it’s because I’m thick as mince and missed your obvious genius. Fight me.
Best pub quiz team names of April 2017
Nice to see the dark side of town (Corstorphine) getting a shout-out. I never do quizzes out there, mainly because I never want to go there.Going to Corstorphine is how I imagine death. I’m in no hurry to experience it.
Apart from the zoo.
Mind you, the older I get, the worse I feel about the internment of animals, so even the zoo is shit. Not to mention the price, and the fact they’ve thinned out the animals for ‘welfare’, meaning that there’s only about six different animals in there now.
When I was a kid the animals crammed onto that hillside cheek-by-jowel like raisins in a fruit cake. And they had EVERYTHING. Like Noah’s Ark. It was awesome. And it was about ONE POUND to get in.
And if you couldn’t be bothered even paying a pound, you could easily climb over the fence/gate at the top of Corstorphine Hill.
Not only did this make the zoo free, it also meant that your progress through the animals was all downhill instead of the usual hike upwards.
Detail: The donut was a half-pounder and the man 42 years old. His name was Travis. The prize for eating the donut is that you get the donut for free and you get a badge.
Travis was going great guns but halfway through, choked, started thumping the counter of the shop and then turned blue and collapsed. He died right there in front of a crowd that had just been cheering him on.
The article I read does not detail whether the donut shop sent the badge to his family anyway or, more likely, they would deem the challenge incomplete.
What else?
There was a team at the Safari Lounge last night called “Ornitorrincos“. what’s that? Turns out this is Spanish for “Platypus”.
Another team name at the Brass Monkey led to a surprising discovery. I thought “His Ding-A-Ling’s Up” was something to do with Chuck Berry but it turns out it’s a reference to a 1970s porn musical film titled: Alice In Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy.
I had no idea such a thing existed. The team name refers to a part of the film where the characters restore Humpty Dumpty’s failed erection. Now you know.
A wee post for today, being a small collection of some of the team names that have caught the eye over the past few months:
Harambe, ForeverDisgusting.StraightforwardResolution?Greatest ShitsTrumpedPoor old Calum MacFrom a team who were ACTUALLY FRENCH. Le lol.ClassicFreddie’s Not DeadHarambe, Forever. x
Just to fill in Saturday, here’s a random selection of recent Pub Quiz Team Names from the Dr Paul Quizzes. If you’re in Edinburgh and can think of something better, come and join us.
The CuntsCunty BawsProbably trueGenius insultRegulars at the JokerTrump-inspiredTributeSounds like a film quote, but don’t knowBrexit reactionDobber TimeThis was literally true. I think he stayed for one round.
