Category Archives: Team Names

Sunday Night, So Bright, Don’t Fight. Quiz Glory Awaits.

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Leffe (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Westlife (music round)

Hey. It’s Sunday and, as I type, the weather is good. Take advantage, go outside for a while.

Then when you realise how tedious outside can be (nowhere to buy beer, nowhere to politely piss) then come back inside to the pub where everyone is your friend and you can get food and booze and win the quiz.

Here is a clip from the music round at the Tolbooth tonight:

Just like the Wizard of Oz, the video begins in black and white and then dramatically leaps into colour just as it gets to the good bit.

The good bit in the Wizard of Oz is where Dorothy travels to Oz and kills the witch and meets the Munchkins and literally everything goes completely bananas.

In the Westlife video, the “good bit” is just the chorus. 1939 > 2001

I mean, it’s a decent enough song. It’s the sort of thing that would have easily won Eurovision in 1995.

I’ve started properly listening to Eurovision songs for next month. The criticism of this year’s Iceland entry is that it sounds like a winner from the 1990s. It is predicted to fail to qualify from the semis.

My favourite so far is Greece or France or Cyprus or Moldova. Not sure yet – will need a few more listens. I’ll keep you updated because I know you care, deeply.

team name methadone madness
There’s Methadone To Yer Madness

Still reading? Try my instagram for ma healthy photies


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Justice Comes In Hashtags

We had these Americans in at the Newsroom a wee while ago and they were called #justiceforbradswife. They even had a T-shirt to go with their team name:

justice for brads wife

I asked them what this was about. I probably did in a Tom Selleck accent with extra-septic emphasis like:

“Hey buddy, what the heeeeyelll is that about? Pardner? Yee hah!”

They wouldn’t explain but said to look online and that I would see a hilarious story. So here I am, several months later, finally getting round to my investigation.


  • Some guy’s wife got sacked at a restaurant chain in the US.
  • husband goes mental about it on the internet.
  • Internet responds by creating giant hashtag war on the chain.

Who knows what happened in the end? I ran out of giving-a-fuck pretty quickly.

The American in the Newsroom promised hilarity but I think in all the links I have found in the last ten minutes or so I have not ACTUALLY laughed. It’s not really that funny. Someone gote

But then, I am now forty-five years old. When you’re 45 you still laugh at people falling down escalators, but very little else. Seen it all before


Poor show

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What Does “Tir Na Nog” Mean Anyway?

I had a team at the Tolbooth the other night named Tir Na Nog.

The fascinating thing wasn’t that they managed to spell their team name about five different ways in five different rounds, but the name itself.

I was sure I’d seen Ti-Na-Nog several times before in my life and I knew it was something or other Gaelic.

So I just looked it up and it turns out that.

Tír na nÓg

(that’s the Wikipedia way of spelling it, so I’m trusting it) is a “supernatural realm of everlasting youth, beauty, health, abundance and joy.

It’s Irish Gaelic and it comes from an Irish story where a human man (Oisin) falls in love with a woman from Ti Na Nog (Niamh) and travels with her to the land on a magic horse that can fly across water.

After three years he becomes homesick and asks to go back to Ireland, but when he gets back to Ireland he finds that 300 years have passed, falls off his horse becomes very old as soon as he touches the soil and dies, but not before meeting Saint Patrick and rejecting Christianity.

For the full story, youtube provides:



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May Team Names

Ah, it took me a wee while this month to get round to doing this:

Team names at Dr Paul quiz during May 2017
Team names at Dr Paul quiz during May 2017

It’s team names which caught my eye during the month of May.

The standout weirdness is ‘SIBLINGS WITH BENEFITS‘.

They were at the Tolbooth one night.

Doesn’t that team name just give you the heebie jeebies?

The team were indeed a grown-up male persona and a grown-up female person. So you never know.

They were grinning, broadly. I couldn’t even stomach to ask them for the detail or the truth. Just in case it was real.

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Here’s Some Superheroic Pub Quiz Advice On The Worst Pub Quiz Names of All Time

Here’s a brilliant method which you can use to stop people thinking that you and your pals are arseholes.

STEP 1: choose a team name for the quiz.

No one likes you, Robin.

STEP 2: Check if it’s on this list of shite team names. If it is, then choose something else. Everyone has heard these fifty million times:


There are loads more and you can tell me them here or with #dpquiz. I’ll add them as I get them to leave this blog page as a lasting monument to awful pub quiz team names.

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Team Names of The Month (April)

This month it took me a while to get round to fixing up Aril’s best efforts. Here they are in my humble, unworthy, shitty little opinion.

If yours’ isn’t there it’s because I’m thick as mince and missed your obvious genius. Fight me.

Best pub quiz team names of April 2017
Best pub quiz team names of April 2017

Nice to see the dark side of town (Corstorphine) getting a shout-out. I never do quizzes out there, mainly because I never want to go there.Going to Corstorphine is how I imagine death. I’m in no hurry to experience it.

Apart from the zoo.

Mind you, the older I get, the worse I feel about the internment of animals, so even the zoo is shit. Not to mention the price, and the fact they’ve thinned out the animals for ‘welfare’, meaning that there’s only about six different animals in there now.

When I was a kid the animals crammed onto that hillside cheek-by-jowel like raisins in a fruit cake. And they had EVERYTHING. Like Noah’s Ark. It was awesome. And it was about ONE POUND to get in.

And if you couldn’t be bothered even paying a pound, you could easily climb over the fence/gate at the top of Corstorphine Hill.

Not only did this make the zoo free, it also meant that your progress through the animals was all downhill instead of the usual hike upwards.

Totez amazeballz, as none of us ever used to say.

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