Tag Archives: romance

Roses Are Red…

It was Valentine’s Day last night (at both quizzes).

Valentine’s is always a weird night. There are couples who never go out with each other and have no idea what to do. They are awkward.

Some of the groups of single people are awkward. Awkwardness hangs in the air like Lynx Africa.

This was more true at the Newsroom, being a city centre venue. The Argyle was quieter as the romantic pairs were probably all in Salvatore’s instead. We’ll never know. It was certainly more relaxed and that’s why I went for the ROSES ARE RED contest there.
Simple instructions: write a four line poem where the first line is “Roses are red”.

Here are the results.



Roses are red

Violets are too

I’m Colourblind

And fucking hate poetry.


Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a knife

Get in the van


Roses are red

Love is dead

Maddy McCann’s skin

Covers my shed.


Roses are red,

May is absurd.

They want to leave the EU,

But you can’t polish a turd.


Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Poetry is dead,

And so are U2.



Roses are red

My baws are blue.

My gooch is broken,

My sex life is too.



There you go. These works were all written in the space of a few minutes. See how easy it goes? You too can be a great artsit.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Mon11th Feb – Monday Pub Quiz Action

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot:£50. Cheat: Pomeranian (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £30. Cheat news: The Pixies (pic round)

This is Monday. The start of something big. Or just bloody half-term, if you have kids.

Don’t have kids? See people looking frazzled? Wondering what the problem is? It’s half-term.

Anyway, that’ not important. What IS important is the quiz,

Here’s the cheat music for tonight’s quiz at the Safari. It’s one of my own favourite acts, The Pixies.

I couldn’t find a decent video, so it’s just music. Worth a listen though.

So it’s minimum jackpots at the quizzes tonight but come along anyway. Your knowledge, wit and good looks may be enough to snare a lover. It is, after all, Valentine‘s week – and in those few days leading up to the 14th, some single people get just a little more desperate.

But there are plenty of others who couldn’t care less, so don’t make assumptions. Just be yourself.


Dr P

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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.