It’s December and its Monday. This is more depressing that being forced to crush four hundred snails to death, one after the other, to death, in a vice.
The only cure is to come to the quiz.
Now, here is the free answer for tonight’s Music round at the Brass Monkey Leith.
It’s an old eighties number, very dramatic and emotional and soft rock style.
For thirty years I thought Cutting Crew were from Northern Ireland but just looked them up on Wiki and it seems they are from the South of England.
I wonder where I got my misconception? I was probably listening to Gary Davies or Peter Powell or one of these wanks on Radio 1 back in 1986 and they said something and I misheard it as “Cutting Crew are from Northern Ireland”.
What did the DJ really say? Probably said something like “Maggie Thatcher is Great. Fuck the miners” cos they were all solid Tories back in those days.
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We’re hitting big numbers again at the Brass Monkey LEith. £250 jackpot tonight. That’s a “wow”.
7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £250. Cheat: The incredible Black Lace are in the music round. Sadly not their greatest work “Gang Bang” but still a party favourite. Check the video to the 1980s birthday party shcool disco action and hear the song.
9pm – The Safari Lounge. Jackpot £60. Cheat: The picture round this week includes the answer “Macbeth“.
Black Lace were one of the cultural motifs that defined the working class experience of the 1980s.
They are from the same bargain bucket as Findus crispy pancakes, Ford Fiestas, Bullseye with Jim Bowen on Sundays, Bruno Brookes doing the charts on Tuesdays, holidays at Butlins and stonewash jeans.
What a load of shite, a beautiful load of old shite.
Tell you what though, if you win £250 tonight at the quiz and then travel through time to 1984 (the time of the Conga), you’ll be the king of all humans.
Having £250 in those days made you GOD. Fact!
Mind you, that’s from the perspective of a 12 year old. Maybe it wasn’t that much if you were working.
It’s not easy to adequately describe the video in a small number of words for this 1983 classic hit, so I quote from one of the comments on youtube:
"A lovely song about a girl who leaves home to become the head hooker. Only to find herself oppressed in a brothel she calls a love battlefield. She will now have to do the impossible and lead her comrades on a dance off to freedom. Will she succeed? Only her pimp can tell..."
The video is, of course, great. I’d never seen it before but it ticks loads of eighties boxes and is incredibly realistic. I remember the early 1980s and I can tell you kids, life was exactly as portrayed in the video, even in Scotland.