Tag Archives: Scotland

Sunday 24th feb

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Del Amitri (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Nick Drake (pic round)

Sunday night is here again. It keeps on coming like a Bongo Train. No pain. Life in the drain.

I have nothing sensible to say today (as you can see) so here is the video for tonight’s cheat answer at the Persevere.

Oh my days, this is from 1998 which was the last time Scotland qualified for the men’s world cup.

In some ways the pain is over, as the women have qualified for France this year. In other ways, the pain continues.

The Del Amitri song itself is full of pain and very very Scottish. I hated it at the time but, 20 years later, I’m starting to like it slightly better.

The lyrics say. “Don’t come home too soon” and this reflects the feeling at the time. Scotland fans were used to qualifying in those days but this was essentially a plea for the team to get out of the group stages… something that had never happened.

This used to be the Scotland fans’ big dream – that one day we would go to the World Cup and not get knocked out of the group stage.

Sadly, even qualifying in the first place this now seems impossible, out of reach.

And Del Amitri haven’t had a top 40 hit since 2002.

See what has become of us.

Anyway – come to the quiz.


See you later.

Ooh hah.

Dr Paul

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Monday Super Duper Pub Quizzes In Edinburgh

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot:£50. Cheat: Poli Genova (music round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £60. Cheat news: Chicago (pic round)

The music round tune tonight is my favourite Eurovision from the last three years. It’s Bulgaria’s Poli Genova and we saw it live in Stockholm at the ESC in 2016. The place went mad – it’s a dance banger:


Monday night is the first night after the terror of the World Cup has lifted like a fog.

Celebrate by leaving the house and meeting real people in a real pub and playing the real quiz for real money.


By the way 2018 Cunto Cards are in stock so stop me and buy a deck if you want to get in on the action. Or click on the image below to buy them online…

Cunto Cards 2018
Cunto 2018


Dr P

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Sunday Quiz – Top Jackpot Tonight is £120

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Dinosaur Jr. (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Depeche Mode (music round)

The music round cheat for the Persevere is a fairly obscure one. Unless you’re my age. And into the kind of stuff I was into then, specifically, at that time. So it’s probably quite a good one to give you as a cheat.

Video is home made:

Next week’s Sunday quiz at the Percy may be slightly affected by the World Cup Final but hopefully not.

Kick off is 4pm so if it runs to 90mins then we’ll be OK. If there’s extra time we might start slightly late.

Tolbooth will be unaffected.

So let’s hope Belgium pump Croatia in normal time.

Speaking of football, did you know that the Hibs season starts today? Outrageous. Some kind of testimonial apparently.

Of course, the real season doesn’t quite start yet. The first tie in the Scottish League Cup is not until Wednesday night.

Come to the quiz.


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Wednesday Pub Quizzes In Edinburgh

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Scatman John (music round – see vid below)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: Ash (picture round)

Wednesday is your proper day for going out. All your friends like you.

If the week was a fruit salad, Wednesday would be a gob full of banana and grapes. Live life the way it was intended by the creator, Muhammed Ali.

The music round cheat answer for the Joker tonight is Scatman John. This guy had a heavy stutter but it didn’t let it stop him become a POP STAR. He was from LA but he made it in Berlin. He was probably EXACTLY the sort of guy who like to go out on Wednesdays. He probably had no choice, he was probably booked somewhere.

He was a jazz piano player at first and then a rapper. He died at the age of 57 year old. It aint that much. All hail the Scatman.

The way he says “Scatland” is exactly the same as if he was saying “Scotland”. It’s another potential post-indy national anthem for the list.


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Last night’s bar enlightenment at the Tolbooth Tavern included a bloke who motorbikes through the Highlands a lot who swears he’s seen the Loch Ness Monster.

He said he took a photo which “looked like a shadow”.

This enlightenment was trumped by barman Stuart who insisted that Nessie is actually an ELEPHANT!

_nessie elephant theory

I chortled heartily as Stuart explained that a circus had been touring up north and that one day an elephant got loose, got into the loch and they took a photo.

When I got home and searched the internet, it seems that the elephant theory is an actual thing.

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£80 at monkey tonight. Del Amitri stain the Music Round

£80 jackpot tonight at Brass Monkey on Drummond Street

All Scottish music round at the quiz tonight and includes Del Amitri performing the official Scotland song from the last time Scotland qualified for a world cup, which was 1998

Some of the youtube comments for this are excellent:

“Ally’s Army is a drinking song! Don’t Come Home Too Soon is a song I’d want to make myself an alcoholic over.”

“the majority of people here don’t seem to get its an insult to scotland”

“You are aware that it wasn’t meant for the World Cup, it was meant for ambiguous purposes, right? Del Amitri was asked by the Scottish team to use the song for their anthem. Technically, the team insulted themselves.”

“Before the postcards was a little bit too soon.”

“Del amitri said after the he wrote the song not long after an old man spoke to him in a pub and asked aren’t you the guy who wrote don’t come home too soon? Del says yes I am and the old man just shakes his head and says you should be ashamed of yourself”

“losers song”

“Now they don’t even bother going. Out of churlishness.”

“Love the kilt, nice legs…Great song, what else is there to wish for??”

“HAHAHA this cracks me up.  I like it because it’s a nice slow rock ballad, but it’s in stark contrast to the song of 20 years ago, about how the Scots were going to win the cup.”

“one of the best footie songs ever”

“Possibly the worst football song ever, but as a song, its not bad.”

“like the video of colin hendry in the background, trying to do keepie uppies. if anything should have shown we were guaranteed to come home too soon, it was that!”

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Unity Mug

Last September’s Scottish Independence referendum didn’t go the way I wanted it but to help the healing process I have created this mug:

_prize mugIts a Yes wristband round a Union J mug. This is the kind of thing that will bring families back together. Peace for all.

I say all this as if I’m about to sell you one but I gave this away at the quiz at the Percy on Sunday and I have no plans to make any more. I can’t honestly see the market for this.

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The New Scottish National Anthem

scotlandI offered an extra prize the other night at the Brass Monkey Leith for the team who could make the best suggestion for a new national anthem if Scotland votes for independence next year.

Here are the suggestions I received:

  • “Ooh Stick You” by Daphene & Celeste
  • “God Save Our Susan Boyle”
  • The “Game of Thrones” theme
  • “I Dreamed a Dream” by Susan Boyle
  • “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany
  • “Flower of Scotland”

another team offered lyrics, thus:

“Her majesty the Queen
Shops at Burtons
From the top of Ben Nevis
We can smell her beef curtains”

while another team offered this:

“Another Pint, The Weather’s Shite,
Everything Will Be Alright”

What does this say about us? I have no idea but Susan Boyle looms large in proceedings. Perhaps one day she will rule us all.

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