Tag Archives: dead pool

November Dead Pool – Attenborough Favourite

Here’s a cloud of names picked by you for the November 2016 Dead Pool.

As ever, if you pick the MOST FAMOUS person to die during any given month then you receive a million pounds (scratchcard).

deadpool-nov-2016A larger font in the cloud means  more people have picked that name, so the big news this month is David Attenborough who was occasional pick before but has suddenly attracted a tsunami of ghoulish interest.

It must be pointed out that nearly everyone who picked Attenborugh added a little sad face to their entry.

They don’t WANT him to die – but it’s out of their control and they could do with the scratchy.

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Edinburgh Man Profits From Death of FIFA Overlord

João Havelange ruled FIFA with a fist of mutton for 24 years but now he is dead.

Edinburgh man Andy The Plantsman correctly named Havelange as a candidate for the reaper for the month of August and thus wins the £1 Million scratchcard:

Joao was exactly a hundred years old, so it was a canny flutter. Here’s what happened next:

dead pool aug 2016
Havelange Dies, Andy Wins (a fiver)

So bottom line: Joao Havelange is ded and Andy wings Five British Pounds.

Dead Pool: They Die, You Win.

 

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Only Fools And Dead Cunts

Tonight at the Joker and the Brass Monkey will be your very last chance to enter Dead Pool for the September prize.

Here are the entries so far. Big story of the month is the surge in support for the death of David Jason. Three entries so far-  normally he’s nowhere to be seen on this list so it looks like someone knows something…

Anthony Hopkins
Aretha Franklin
Bobby Charlton
Boris Johnson
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Chris Denning
Chuck Berry
Cliff Richard
Clint Eastwood
Courtney Love
David Attenborough
David Jason
David Jason
David Jason
Dennis Law
Desmond Tutu
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Doris Day
Dot Cotton (EastEnders)
Fidel Castro
George Lucas
Hilary Clinton
Hugh Hefner
Iggy Pop
Jack Nicholson
Jared Leto
John Hurt
John Major
Johnny Depp
Judi Dench
Keith Richards
Keith Richards
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Lindsey Lohan
Mark Thatcher
Michael Parkinson
Michael Parkinson
Michael Schumacher
O J Simpson
Olivia de Haviland
Ozzy Osbourne
Pele
Pele
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Richard Wilson
Stephen Fry
The Queen
Tim Curry
TJ Miller

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Dead Pool August 2016

By the way, see all the people who cannae write: please note that your entries are not logged in Dead Pool.

Tipping point arrives if I have to stare at your handwriting for more than two and a half seconds to read your email address. After that: bin.

Meanwhile, here’s the list of picks for August. Bruce Forsyth features heavily, as do regulars The Queen and Prince Philip. Celebs with three selections include Ozzy Osbourne, David Attenborough and Donald Trump.

Bruce Forsyth dead eyes
Dead-eyed stare to see you, to see you nice.

Standout entries include someone picking Philp Seymour Hoffman who already died in February 2014, and the genius who picked ALL OF STATUS QUO to die at some point in August.

My personal favourite entries are Chris Rea and Philp Schofield. Nice work.

Here are all the picks for August 2016:

50 Cent
Aga Khan
Angela Rippon
Barry Manilow
Bill Cosby
Brian Blessed
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Burt Reynolds
Charlie Sheen
Chris Rea
Christopher Lloyd
Clint Eastwood
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Jason
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Eminem
George Bush Sr
Harry Dean Stanton
Hugh Hefner
Iggy Pop
Jim Carrey
Joao Havelange
John Cleese
Keith Richards
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Macaulay Culkin
Madonna
Maggie Smith
Mariah Carey
Meatloaf
Mick Jagger
Morgan Freeman
Nigel Farage
Olivia de Havilland
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Patrick Stewart
Paul Gascoigne
Paul McCartney
Pele
Philip Schofield
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Richard Wilson
Robert Mugabe
Status Quo
Stevie Wonder
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Toni Braxton
Zsa Zsa Gabor

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

July Dead Pool

No one you chose for death popped off in June. The entries are in for July, here’s the list.

The number of mentions reflects the number of times the person was entered. As usual, old cunt supreme Prince Philip is top choice but health showings this month too from Bruce Forsyth and Donald Motherfucking Trumpet.

Everybody loves a winner.

Ally McCoist
Betty White
Betty White
Billy Joel
Bindi Irwin
Bob Dylan
Bobby Charlton
Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Charlie Sheen
Clint Eastwood
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Cameron
David Jason

_trump nazi

Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Dr Paul
Elton John
Ewan McGregor
Fidel Castro
Gene Wilder
George Osbourne
Hugh Hefner
Ian McKellen
Iggy Pop
Jeremy Corbyn
Jimmy Carter
Keith Richards
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Liam Neeson
Lindsey Lohan
Macaulay Culkin
Margory Madeiline (I have no idea who this is)

_meatloaf

Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Menzies Campbell
Michael Aspel
Michael Caine
Michael Gove
Michael J Fox
Midge Ure
Nigel Farage
Nigel Farage
Noel Edmonds
Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney
Perez de Cuellar

_prince fucking philip

Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Rick Parfitt
Rolf Harris
Roy Hodgson
Ryan Reynolds
Shane McGowan
Shirley Bassey
Silvio Berlusconi
Stan Lee
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Tom Baker
Vladimir Putin
Whoopi Goldberg
Zsa Zsa Gabor

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Middle Aged Is The New Old

I was encouraging Dead Pool entries last night and noticed that if you’re my age (the foothills of middle-age) then you will enter names like these:

Olivia de Havilland, Kirk Douglas, Vera Lynn

(collective age 296)

However, the younger Dr Paul Pub Quiz clientele simply haven’t heard of these oldies. It’s fair enough. The last time Kirk Douglas was nominated for an acting Oscar was 1956.Olivis de Havilland was already a star before Hitler invaded Poland.

Olivia de Havilland in 1938
This is Olivia de Havilland in 1938. She’s now 99 years old

So the younger quizzers knowledge of very old once-famous people is greatly limited. The people listed above stopped doing anything meaningful to the general public at least 30 years ago. They are famous in the same way that you can hear an echo of the creation of the universe if you have the correct kind of radio telescope.

Consequently, what constitutes old celebrities in younger peoples’ head is a list more like this:

Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Sylvester Stallone

(collective age 194)

Conclusion: Young people are less likely to choose someone who will actually die but if their choice does go down then they are more likely to be actually famous.

The first list above is a total of 102 years older than the lower list. But the people on the upper list stopped being famous 30 years ago.

Balance, perspective and certain death. But when will they die? That’s the game.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Silver Linings For Lemmy

As they prepare to broadcast Lemmy’s funeral live on YouTube and the world attempts to pair his name with heavy metal forever, I got in touch with Dead Pool prediction champ Karin to ask her if she’s coming to the quiz to pick up her £4 million in scratchcards.

She replied with this note:

"Fantastic. I got such a shock when I found out that he actually died. It's a tragedy that he's gone... but the morbid prospect of making a profit from his well-timed death cheered us up. I'll be at Tolbooth this Sunday so see you then! Cheers!"

Silver linings!

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Lemmy or Jimmy Hill: The £4 Million Question

When Jimmy Hill died last month on the 19th December, Nicholas was quickly in touch to express his hopes and dreams that by selecting Hill for death, he would be rewarded handsomely in scratchcards.

 

_lemmy-hillIt looked like a good bet with only ten days of December left. For the bet to fail, someone who had been picked by a DP Quizzer who was more famous than Jimmy Hill would have to cash in their chips before the end of the month.

At this point, Lemmy out of Motorhead was cancer-free.

However, a Boxing Day diagnosis of a hyper-aggressive cancer quickly caused the rocker to unravel and before the week was out, Lemmy was on the slab.

A quick check on the Dead Pool list reveals that Lemmy WAS selected for December by a quizzer called Karin who put in her entry in at some point in November at the Tolbooth Tavern.

So, for the first time in 18 months of the constest, we have to employ rule one in the Dead Pool terms and conditions which is that in the event of two droppers in one month, the definition of “most famous” shall be decided by a 10-year worldwide average on Google Trends. Let the two names be entered:

compare_lemmy v jimmy hill december 2015

So, despite his OBE and despite his work revolutionising modern British football from removing the wage-cap to introducing three-points for a win, Hill has been trumped for fame by the sweaty, hard-living, hard-rocking frontman of Motorhead, Lemmy.

Well played Karin. I’ll be in touch to arrange your prize which will consist of £4 Million in potential scratchcard wins, seeing as there hasn’t been a Dead Pool winner since Cilla Black departed the party in August.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Chin Up, Jimmy Hills Death Could Make One Man A Millionaire

I got an excitable email from Nicholas the other day after the death of Jimmy Hill.

Nicholas asked “so am I a millionaire?” The sense of excitement in his email was palpable and, indeed, Nick did indeed choose the mighty-chinned soccer innovator for the December Dead Pool but Nick to calm the jets because …

  1. He was to wait until the end of the month to see if anyone more famous dies. The rule is that your pick has to be the most famous selection to die in any given calendar month.
  2. He doesn’t actually win a million pounds. The tone of his email made me think that perhaps he didn’t read the small print and that he actually thinks he’s in line for an real cash payout of some enormity, rather than the scratchcards with a potential value of one million pounds that I actually give out for dead pool.

Still, it’s our first Dead Pool death since Cilla in August so the total potential jackpot is £4 million. Dare to dream Nick, dare to dream!

Jimmy Hill and Bruce Forsyth comparing chins
Jimmy Hill compares chins with one man who may prevent Nick making contact with his riches.

Meanwhile, here’s the list of other names that have been picked for December dead pool. How many of these would trump the chin?

Angela Lansbury
Bashir Al-Assad
Betty White
Britney Spears
Bruce Forsyth
Buster Bloodvessel
Carrie Fisher
Charlie Sheen
Charlton Heston
Cher
Cliff Richard
Clive James
David Attenborough
Diana Ross
Dolly Parton
Donald Trump
Dwayne Johnson, The Rock
Esther Rantzen
Jeremy Corbyn
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Hill
Justin Bieber
Keith Chegwin
Kylie Minogue
Lady C
Lamar Odom
Lemmy
Liam Neeson
Madonna
Maggie Smith
Michael Douglas
Michael Schumacher
Morrissey
Mr. T
Neil Young
Noel Edmonds
Norman Tebbit
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Daniels
Paul Gascoigne
Prince George
Prince Philip
Prince Philp
Salah Abdesalam
Sepp Blatter
Sigourney Weaver
Tayip Erdogan
The Queen
Timothy West

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

These People Still Live?

It’s that time of the month again where I sit with a pile of Dead Pool entries and transcribe them to a spreadsheet, hopefully leading to someone winning a MILLION POUNDS! Or even a hundred.
_lansbury
First surprise this month was Angela Lansbury. I thought she had been bowled lbw a long time a go but her innings is still on the go at 90 not out.
Another one I thought had popped up an easy catch was Clive James but he’s still at stumps too.
Hang on, wasn’t he really ill?
 
According to WIkipedia:
 
“… In a BBC interview with Charlie Stayt, broadcast on 31 March 2015, James described himself as “near to death but thankful for life”.[46] However, in October 2015 he admitted to feeling “embarrassment” at still being alive thanks to experimental drug treatment.[47]”
Fucking yay for experimental treatment.
_cliuvejames
Thanks to experimental treatment, Clive James has been able to see Britain winning the world cup and bombing the fuck out of Syria.
Bet he’s glad of that experimental treatment.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.