Tag Archives: dead pool

Dead Pool August 2016

By the way, see all the people who cannae write: please note that your entries are not logged in Dead Pool.

Tipping point arrives if I have to stare at your handwriting for more than two and a half seconds to read your email address. After that: bin.

Meanwhile, here’s the list of picks for August. Bruce Forsyth features heavily, as do regulars The Queen and Prince Philip. Celebs with three selections include Ozzy Osbourne, David Attenborough and Donald Trump.

Bruce Forsyth dead eyes
Dead-eyed stare to see you, to see you nice.

Standout entries include someone picking Philp Seymour Hoffman who already died in February 2014, and the genius who picked ALL OF STATUS QUO to die at some point in August.

My personal favourite entries are Chris Rea and Philp Schofield. Nice work.

Here are all the picks for August 2016:

50 Cent
Aga Khan
Angela Rippon
Barry Manilow
Bill Cosby
Brian Blessed
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Burt Reynolds
Charlie Sheen
Chris Rea
Christopher Lloyd
Clint Eastwood
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Jason
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Eminem
George Bush Sr
Harry Dean Stanton
Hugh Hefner
Iggy Pop
Jim Carrey
Joao Havelange
John Cleese
Keith Richards
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Macaulay Culkin
Madonna
Maggie Smith
Mariah Carey
Meatloaf
Mick Jagger
Morgan Freeman
Nigel Farage
Olivia de Havilland
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
Patrick Stewart
Paul Gascoigne
Paul McCartney
Pele
Philip Schofield
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Richard Wilson
Robert Mugabe
Status Quo
Stevie Wonder
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Toni Braxton
Zsa Zsa Gabor

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July Dead Pool

No one you chose for death popped off in June. The entries are in for July, here’s the list.

The number of mentions reflects the number of times the person was entered. As usual, old cunt supreme Prince Philip is top choice but health showings this month too from Bruce Forsyth and Donald Motherfucking Trumpet.

Everybody loves a winner.

Ally McCoist
Betty White
Betty White
Billy Joel
Bindi Irwin
Bob Dylan
Bobby Charlton
Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Charlie Sheen
Clint Eastwood
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Attenborough
David Cameron
David Jason

_trump nazi

Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Dr Paul
Elton John
Ewan McGregor
Fidel Castro
Gene Wilder
George Osbourne
Hugh Hefner
Ian McKellen
Iggy Pop
Jeremy Corbyn
Jimmy Carter
Keith Richards
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Liam Neeson
Lindsey Lohan
Macaulay Culkin
Margory Madeiline (I have no idea who this is)

_meatloaf

Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Meatloaf
Menzies Campbell
Michael Aspel
Michael Caine
Michael Gove
Michael J Fox
Midge Ure
Nigel Farage
Nigel Farage
Noel Edmonds
Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney
Perez de Cuellar

_prince fucking philip

Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Rick Parfitt
Rolf Harris
Roy Hodgson
Ryan Reynolds
Shane McGowan
Shirley Bassey
Silvio Berlusconi
Stan Lee
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Tom Baker
Vladimir Putin
Whoopi Goldberg
Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Middle Aged Is The New Old

I was encouraging Dead Pool entries last night and noticed that if you’re my age (the foothills of middle-age) then you will enter names like these:

Olivia de Havilland, Kirk Douglas, Vera Lynn

(collective age 296)

However, the younger Dr Paul Pub Quiz clientele simply haven’t heard of these oldies. It’s fair enough. The last time Kirk Douglas was nominated for an acting Oscar was 1956.Olivis de Havilland was already a star before Hitler invaded Poland.

Olivia de Havilland in 1938
This is Olivia de Havilland in 1938. She’s now 99 years old

So the younger quizzers knowledge of very old once-famous people is greatly limited. The people listed above stopped doing anything meaningful to the general public at least 30 years ago. They are famous in the same way that you can hear an echo of the creation of the universe if you have the correct kind of radio telescope.

Consequently, what constitutes old celebrities in younger peoples’ head is a list more like this:

Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Sylvester Stallone

(collective age 194)

Conclusion: Young people are less likely to choose someone who will actually die but if their choice does go down then they are more likely to be actually famous.

The first list above is a total of 102 years older than the lower list. But the people on the upper list stopped being famous 30 years ago.

Balance, perspective and certain death. But when will they die? That’s the game.

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Silver Linings For Lemmy

As they prepare to broadcast Lemmy’s funeral live on YouTube and the world attempts to pair his name with heavy metal forever, I got in touch with Dead Pool prediction champ Karin to ask her if she’s coming to the quiz to pick up her £4 million in scratchcards.

She replied with this note:

"Fantastic. I got such a shock when I found out that he actually died. It's a tragedy that he's gone... but the morbid prospect of making a profit from his well-timed death cheered us up. I'll be at Tolbooth this Sunday so see you then! Cheers!"

Silver linings!

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Lemmy or Jimmy Hill: The £4 Million Question

When Jimmy Hill died last month on the 19th December, Nicholas was quickly in touch to express his hopes and dreams that by selecting Hill for death, he would be rewarded handsomely in scratchcards.

 

_lemmy-hillIt looked like a good bet with only ten days of December left. For the bet to fail, someone who had been picked by a DP Quizzer who was more famous than Jimmy Hill would have to cash in their chips before the end of the month.

At this point, Lemmy out of Motorhead was cancer-free.

However, a Boxing Day diagnosis of a hyper-aggressive cancer quickly caused the rocker to unravel and before the week was out, Lemmy was on the slab.

A quick check on the Dead Pool list reveals that Lemmy WAS selected for December by a quizzer called Karin who put in her entry in at some point in November at the Tolbooth Tavern.

So, for the first time in 18 months of the constest, we have to employ rule one in the Dead Pool terms and conditions which is that in the event of two droppers in one month, the definition of “most famous” shall be decided by a 10-year worldwide average on Google Trends. Let the two names be entered:

compare_lemmy v jimmy hill december 2015

So, despite his OBE and despite his work revolutionising modern British football from removing the wage-cap to introducing three-points for a win, Hill has been trumped for fame by the sweaty, hard-living, hard-rocking frontman of Motorhead, Lemmy.

Well played Karin. I’ll be in touch to arrange your prize which will consist of £4 Million in potential scratchcard wins, seeing as there hasn’t been a Dead Pool winner since Cilla Black departed the party in August.

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Chin Up, Jimmy Hills Death Could Make One Man A Millionaire

I got an excitable email from Nicholas the other day after the death of Jimmy Hill.

Nicholas asked “so am I a millionaire?” The sense of excitement in his email was palpable and, indeed, Nick did indeed choose the mighty-chinned soccer innovator for the December Dead Pool but Nick to calm the jets because …

  1. He was to wait until the end of the month to see if anyone more famous dies. The rule is that your pick has to be the most famous selection to die in any given calendar month.
  2. He doesn’t actually win a million pounds. The tone of his email made me think that perhaps he didn’t read the small print and that he actually thinks he’s in line for an real cash payout of some enormity, rather than the scratchcards with a potential value of one million pounds that I actually give out for dead pool.

Still, it’s our first Dead Pool death since Cilla in August so the total potential jackpot is £4 million. Dare to dream Nick, dare to dream!

Jimmy Hill and Bruce Forsyth comparing chins
Jimmy Hill compares chins with one man who may prevent Nick making contact with his riches.

Meanwhile, here’s the list of other names that have been picked for December dead pool. How many of these would trump the chin?

Angela Lansbury
Bashir Al-Assad
Betty White
Britney Spears
Bruce Forsyth
Buster Bloodvessel
Carrie Fisher
Charlie Sheen
Charlton Heston
Cher
Cliff Richard
Clive James
David Attenborough
Diana Ross
Dolly Parton
Donald Trump
Dwayne Johnson, The Rock
Esther Rantzen
Jeremy Corbyn
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Hill
Justin Bieber
Keith Chegwin
Kylie Minogue
Lady C
Lamar Odom
Lemmy
Liam Neeson
Madonna
Maggie Smith
Michael Douglas
Michael Schumacher
Morrissey
Mr. T
Neil Young
Noel Edmonds
Norman Tebbit
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Daniels
Paul Gascoigne
Prince George
Prince Philip
Prince Philp
Salah Abdesalam
Sepp Blatter
Sigourney Weaver
Tayip Erdogan
The Queen
Timothy West

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These People Still Live?

It’s that time of the month again where I sit with a pile of Dead Pool entries and transcribe them to a spreadsheet, hopefully leading to someone winning a MILLION POUNDS! Or even a hundred.
_lansbury
First surprise this month was Angela Lansbury. I thought she had been bowled lbw a long time a go but her innings is still on the go at 90 not out.
Another one I thought had popped up an easy catch was Clive James but he’s still at stumps too.
Hang on, wasn’t he really ill?
 
According to WIkipedia:
 
“… In a BBC interview with Charlie Stayt, broadcast on 31 March 2015, James described himself as “near to death but thankful for life”.[46] However, in October 2015 he admitted to feeling “embarrassment” at still being alive thanks to experimental drug treatment.[47]”
Fucking yay for experimental treatment.
_cliuvejames
Thanks to experimental treatment, Clive James has been able to see Britain winning the world cup and bombing the fuck out of Syria.
Bet he’s glad of that experimental treatment.

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October Dead Pool Line Up

So the gate has closed for the October Dead Pool and here’s the final list. Top names are The Queen, Bruce Forsyth and Kirk Douglas with three votes each…

Bono
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Burt Reynolds
Clint Eastwood
David Cameron
Dick Van Dyke
Doris Day
Fidel Castro
Geoffrey Hayes
George Michael
Jackie Chan
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter
Justin Bieber
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Lemmy
Lindsay Lohan
Maggie Smith
Michael Douglas
Morrissey
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Sean Connery
Sean Connery
Simon Le Bon
Stephen Hawking
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Vera Lynn
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Zsa Zsa Gabor

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When Cilla Rode Cecil

The recent death of beloved entertainer Cilla Black came just as the world was trying to deal with the loss of it’s beloved lion, Cecil.

As an act of healing and catharsis, I set a drawing contest at the quiz for quizzers to depict the cheeky Scouse singer riding the much-loved Zimbabwean big cat through the gates of heaven to eternal happiness.

Here’s what you drew:

1. Happy Go Lucky

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (8)Both protagonists seem fairly relaxed about being dead in this splendid naive piece. Maybe they always wanted to be together, and now they can live that dream… in heaven.

2. Cecil The Cock And Ballscilla and cecil (2)

This one is pretty dark and damaging. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. This gives you a fair idea of what some of the people who come to the quiz are actually like.

3. Colour Hell

cilla and cecil (3)It was a given option to depict Cilla and Cecil riding through the gates of the Other Place, as this team elected to draw. Nice use of felt tip which must have been luckily lurking in someone’s bag..

4. Art & Detail

cilla and cecil (4)This arty effort includes an effort to achieve an actual likeness of Cilla who, to be fair, was blessed with fairly prominent front choppers. Nice real-life detail where Cecil has been plugged by Walter Palmer’s arrow (40 hours before being finished off with a rifle).

5. Face Swap Manticore

cilla and cecil (6)The most confusing of the entries. I think there has been some sort of face-swap going on. The result is a bit like the Manticore on the inner sleeve storyboard of the Tarkus album by Emerson Lake & Palmer

6. So Happy Together

 

cilla and cecil (7)

I love this one the best. The dopey look on Cecil’s face is exactly how I picture friendly lions in my mind when I am asleep and dreaming. Cilla’s leg action lends the ensemble some proper helium levity. Terrific.

 

7. Blind Date In Hell

 

 

 

cilla and cecil (1)

 

Right, this one has Cilla and Cecil again facing hell rather than heaven. Rich on extra detail this work includes the teeth, the arrows, a cock and balls for Cecil and a Blind Date line up including Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson and Osama Bin Laden.

8. Welcome Home

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (2)Nice shading. So poignant. Forever.

9. Flying Seal

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (4)Cecil looks more like a seal than a lion. I wonder if while driving a car in real life, Cilla ever blew a seal?

10. I’m Coming Bobby

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (5)Executed in tasteful pencil to create a ghostly effect, this super-poignant tribute shows how Cilla is longing to get back to her late husband Bobby Willis, who passed on to the other side in 1999.

Since Bobby died, Cilla has had to face 9/11, The Boxing day Tsunami, The Japan Tsunami, The Second Gulf War, and Scotland’s continued failure to qualify for the World Cup… alone.

How she misses the Boaby is tastefully illustrated in this great bit of doodlin’

11. Pearly Gatesdrawing contest - cilla and cecil (7)

Plainly, the work of drunks.

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November Dead Pool – Entries So Far

Predict the most famous person to die in November to win a million pounds. 59 entries so far – here’s what the list looks like at the moment…

Alex Salmond
Aretha Franklin
Barbara Streisand
Barbara Windsor
Betty White
Bill Clinton
Brooks Newmark
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth

Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen
Cher
Christopher Lee
Clint Eastwood
Dan Balzerian
Ed Sheeran
Gary Glitter
George Bush Sr
Hugh Hefner
Hugh Hefner
Iggy Pop
Jackie Stallone
Jimmy Carter
Jonathan Hill
Joseph Ratzinger
Jules Bianchi
Justin Bieber
Kate Moss
Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong-Un
Matt Busby
Michael Caine
Morgan Freeman
Morrissey
Morrissey
Morrissey
Muhammed Ali
Muhammed Ali
Muhammed Ali
Oscar Pistorius
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Gascoigne
Paul Gascoigne
Prince Charles
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Robbie Williams
Rolf Harris
Stephen Fry
Stephen Fry
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Tony Bennett

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.