Tag Archives: dead pool

Silver Linings For Lemmy

As they prepare to broadcast Lemmy’s funeral live on YouTube and the world attempts to pair his name with heavy metal forever, I got in touch with Dead Pool prediction champ Karin to ask her if she’s coming to the quiz to pick up her £4 million in scratchcards.

She replied with this note:

"Fantastic. I got such a shock when I found out that he actually died. It's a tragedy that he's gone... but the morbid prospect of making a profit from his well-timed death cheered us up. I'll be at Tolbooth this Sunday so see you then! Cheers!"

Silver linings!

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Lemmy or Jimmy Hill: The £4 Million Question

When Jimmy Hill died last month on the 19th December, Nicholas was quickly in touch to express his hopes and dreams that by selecting Hill for death, he would be rewarded handsomely in scratchcards.


_lemmy-hillIt looked like a good bet with only ten days of December left. For the bet to fail, someone who had been picked by a DP Quizzer who was more famous than Jimmy Hill would have to cash in their chips before the end of the month.

At this point, Lemmy out of Motorhead was cancer-free.

However, a Boxing Day diagnosis of a hyper-aggressive cancer quickly caused the rocker to unravel and before the week was out, Lemmy was on the slab.

A quick check on the Dead Pool list reveals that Lemmy WAS selected for December by a quizzer called Karin who put in her entry in at some point in November at the Tolbooth Tavern.

So, for the first time in 18 months of the constest, we have to employ rule one in the Dead Pool terms and conditions which is that in the event of two droppers in one month, the definition of “most famous” shall be decided by a 10-year worldwide average on Google Trends. Let the two names be entered:

compare_lemmy v jimmy hill december 2015

So, despite his OBE and despite his work revolutionising modern British football from removing the wage-cap to introducing three-points for a win, Hill has been trumped for fame by the sweaty, hard-living, hard-rocking frontman of Motorhead, Lemmy.

Well played Karin. I’ll be in touch to arrange your prize which will consist of £4 Million in potential scratchcard wins, seeing as there hasn’t been a Dead Pool winner since Cilla Black departed the party in August.

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Chin Up, Jimmy Hills Death Could Make One Man A Millionaire

I got an excitable email from Nicholas the other day after the death of Jimmy Hill.

Nicholas asked “so am I a millionaire?” The sense of excitement in his email was palpable and, indeed, Nick did indeed choose the mighty-chinned soccer innovator for the December Dead Pool but Nick to calm the jets because …

  1. He was to wait until the end of the month to see if anyone more famous dies. The rule is that your pick has to be the most famous selection to die in any given calendar month.
  2. He doesn’t actually win a million pounds. The tone of his email made me think that perhaps he didn’t read the small print and that he actually thinks he’s in line for an real cash payout of some enormity, rather than the scratchcards with a potential value of one million pounds that I actually give out for dead pool.

Still, it’s our first Dead Pool death since Cilla in August so the total potential jackpot is £4 million. Dare to dream Nick, dare to dream!

Jimmy Hill and Bruce Forsyth comparing chins
Jimmy Hill compares chins with one man who may prevent Nick making contact with his riches.

Meanwhile, here’s the list of other names that have been picked for December dead pool. How many of these would trump the chin?

Angela Lansbury
Bashir Al-Assad
Betty White
Britney Spears
Bruce Forsyth
Buster Bloodvessel
Carrie Fisher
Charlie Sheen
Charlton Heston
Cliff Richard
Clive James
David Attenborough
Diana Ross
Dolly Parton
Donald Trump
Dwayne Johnson, The Rock
Esther Rantzen
Jeremy Corbyn
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Hill
Justin Bieber
Keith Chegwin
Kylie Minogue
Lady C
Lamar Odom
Liam Neeson
Maggie Smith
Michael Douglas
Michael Schumacher
Mr. T
Neil Young
Noel Edmonds
Norman Tebbit
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Daniels
Paul Gascoigne
Prince George
Prince Philip
Prince Philp
Salah Abdesalam
Sepp Blatter
Sigourney Weaver
Tayip Erdogan
The Queen
Timothy West

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These People Still Live?

It’s that time of the month again where I sit with a pile of Dead Pool entries and transcribe them to a spreadsheet, hopefully leading to someone winning a MILLION POUNDS! Or even a hundred.
First surprise this month was Angela Lansbury. I thought she had been bowled lbw a long time a go but her innings is still on the go at 90 not out.
Another one I thought had popped up an easy catch was Clive James but he’s still at stumps too.
Hang on, wasn’t he really ill?
According to WIkipedia:
“… In a BBC interview with Charlie Stayt, broadcast on 31 March 2015, James described himself as “near to death but thankful for life”.[46] However, in October 2015 he admitted to feeling “embarrassment” at still being alive thanks to experimental drug treatment.[47]”
Fucking yay for experimental treatment.
Thanks to experimental treatment, Clive James has been able to see Britain winning the world cup and bombing the fuck out of Syria.
Bet he’s glad of that experimental treatment.

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October Dead Pool Line Up

So the gate has closed for the October Dead Pool and here’s the final list. Top names are The Queen, Bruce Forsyth and Kirk Douglas with three votes each…

Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth
Burt Reynolds
Clint Eastwood
David Cameron
Dick Van Dyke
Doris Day
Fidel Castro
Geoffrey Hayes
George Michael
Jackie Chan
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter
Justin Bieber
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Lindsay Lohan
Maggie Smith
Michael Douglas
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Sean Connery
Sean Connery
Simon Le Bon
Stephen Hawking
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Vera Lynn
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Zsa Zsa Gabor

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When Cilla Rode Cecil

The recent death of beloved entertainer Cilla Black came just as the world was trying to deal with the loss of it’s beloved lion, Cecil.

As an act of healing and catharsis, I set a drawing contest at the quiz for quizzers to depict the cheeky Scouse singer riding the much-loved Zimbabwean big cat through the gates of heaven to eternal happiness.

Here’s what you drew:

1. Happy Go Lucky

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (8)Both protagonists seem fairly relaxed about being dead in this splendid naive piece. Maybe they always wanted to be together, and now they can live that dream… in heaven.

2. Cecil The Cock And Ballscilla and cecil (2)

This one is pretty dark and damaging. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. This gives you a fair idea of what some of the people who come to the quiz are actually like.

3. Colour Hell

cilla and cecil (3)It was a given option to depict Cilla and Cecil riding through the gates of the Other Place, as this team elected to draw. Nice use of felt tip which must have been luckily lurking in someone’s bag..

4. Art & Detail

cilla and cecil (4)This arty effort includes an effort to achieve an actual likeness of Cilla who, to be fair, was blessed with fairly prominent front choppers. Nice real-life detail where Cecil has been plugged by Walter Palmer’s arrow (40 hours before being finished off with a rifle).

5. Face Swap Manticore

cilla and cecil (6)The most confusing of the entries. I think there has been some sort of face-swap going on. The result is a bit like the Manticore on the inner sleeve storyboard of the Tarkus album by Emerson Lake & Palmer

6. So Happy Together


cilla and cecil (7)

I love this one the best. The dopey look on Cecil’s face is exactly how I picture friendly lions in my mind when I am asleep and dreaming. Cilla’s leg action lends the ensemble some proper helium levity. Terrific.


7. Blind Date In Hell




cilla and cecil (1)


Right, this one has Cilla and Cecil again facing hell rather than heaven. Rich on extra detail this work includes the teeth, the arrows, a cock and balls for Cecil and a Blind Date line up including Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson and Osama Bin Laden.

8. Welcome Home

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (2)Nice shading. So poignant. Forever.

9. Flying Seal

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (4)Cecil looks more like a seal than a lion. I wonder if while driving a car in real life, Cilla ever blew a seal?

10. I’m Coming Bobby

drawing contest - cilla and cecil (5)Executed in tasteful pencil to create a ghostly effect, this super-poignant tribute shows how Cilla is longing to get back to her late husband Bobby Willis, who passed on to the other side in 1999.

Since Bobby died, Cilla has had to face 9/11, The Boxing day Tsunami, The Japan Tsunami, The Second Gulf War, and Scotland’s continued failure to qualify for the World Cup… alone.

How she misses the Boaby is tastefully illustrated in this great bit of doodlin’

11. Pearly Gatesdrawing contest - cilla and cecil (7)

Plainly, the work of drunks.

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November Dead Pool – Entries So Far

Predict the most famous person to die in November to win a million pounds. 59 entries so far – here’s what the list looks like at the moment…

Alex Salmond
Aretha Franklin
Barbara Streisand
Barbara Windsor
Betty White
Bill Clinton
Brooks Newmark
Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth

Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen
Christopher Lee
Clint Eastwood
Dan Balzerian
Ed Sheeran
Gary Glitter
George Bush Sr
Hugh Hefner
Hugh Hefner
Iggy Pop
Jackie Stallone
Jimmy Carter
Jonathan Hill
Joseph Ratzinger
Jules Bianchi
Justin Bieber
Kate Moss
Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Un
Kim Jong-Un
Matt Busby
Michael Caine
Morgan Freeman
Muhammed Ali
Muhammed Ali
Muhammed Ali
Oscar Pistorius
Ozzy Osbourne
Paul Gascoigne
Paul Gascoigne
Prince Charles
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Prince Philip
Robbie Williams
Rolf Harris
Stephen Fry
Stephen Fry
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
The Queen
Tony Bennett

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Dead Pool September – We Have A Winner!

Here was the characters who were marked down for the reaper by our doom-sayers during August for the month of September, together twith their breathing-or-not status for 1st October.

Billy Connolly    alive
Bruce Forsyth    alive
Charlie Sheen    alive
Christopher Lee    alive
Clint Eastwood    alive
Daniel Radcliffe    alive
Daniella Westbrook    alive
David Attenborough    alive
David Hasselhoff    alive
David Jason    alive
Drake    alive
George HW Bush    alive
Ian McKellan    alive
Jack Nicholson    alive
James Earl Jones    alive
Janet Jackson    alive
Joan Rivers    died Sep 4th 2014

Justin Bieber    alive
Kirk Douglas    alive
Lewis Hamilton    alive
Liam Gallagher    alive
Lindsay Lohan    alive
Macaulay Culkin    alive
Mariah Carey    alive
Martin Sheen    alive
Mel Brooks    alive
Michael Caine    alive
Michael Douglas    alive
Michael Parkinson    alive
Michael Schumacher    alive
Michel Cera    alive
Muhammed Ali    alive
Nancy Reagan    alive
Nicholas Parsons    alive
Oscar Pistorius    alive
Ozzy Osbourne    alive
Paul Gascoigne    alive
Pete Doherty    alive
Pope Benedict XVI    alive
Prince Philip    alive
Quentin Tarantino    alive
Rolf Harris    alive
Ronnie Woods    alive
Sean Connery    alive
Silvio Berlusconi    alive
Sinead O’Connor    alive
Stan Lee    alive
The Queen    alive
Zsa Zsa Gabor    alive

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that there is only one goner on the list, beating various nonagenarians to the finishing tape it was acclaimed Zionist and comedienne Joan Rivers who took the chequered flag.

Three Dead-Poolers had Rivers and they went into the draw but who won? Watch the video to find out…


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Dead Pool Pundits Follow The News

howard halifaxThere are still a couple of weeks to go to get your names in for the August Dead Pool. The following is a list of names so far.

The most notable movers so far this month is former-family-favourite Rolf Harris, whose recent guilty conviction and subsequent reported suicide-watch in jail have led 5 quizgoers to back an August demise. This compares to one vote for July.

Another newsmaker who Edinburgh quizgoers are backing to die is the absolute theocratic monarch of the newly proclaimed Islamic state, Abu Bakr al-Bagdhadi. The ISIS leader is a new entry and has two backers so far.

My favourite so far this month is “Howard from The Halifax Adverts“. Bloody hell. You never know.

By the way, if you’re reading this and thinking, “where’s mine” – I only load up the slips I get which have a LEGIBLE email address. Others go in the bin, ken?


August Dead Pool So Far (number in brackets = current number of backers)

Prince Philip (5)
Rolf Harris (5)
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (2)
Alex Salmond (1)
Baroness Butler-Sloss (1)
Bruce Forsyth (1)
Courtney Love (1)
Daniel Radcliffe (1)
David Luiz (1)
Elton John (1)
George Lucas (1)
George R R Martin (1)
Holly Willoughby (1)
Howard From The Halifax Adverts (1)
Ian Paisley (1)
Joaquin Phoenix (1)
Judi Dench (1)
Lady Gaga (1)
Lindsay Lohan (1)
Michael J Fox (1)
Michael Schumacher (1)
Muhammed Ali (1)
Nigel Farage (1)
Nouri al-Maliki (1)
Oscar Pistorius (1)
Paul McCartney (1)
Pete Doherty (1)
Roger Moore (1)
Sarah Jessica Parker (1)
Sean Connery (1)
Shia LaBeouf (1)
The King of Thailand (1)
The Queen (1)
Wilco Johnston (1)
William Shatner (1)

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Dead Pool – June 2014

queen and prince philpSo, the last quizzes of May 2014 are done and dusted, so here’s the full list of Dr Paul’s Million Pound Dead Pool predictions for the coming month of June.

The number shown is the number of people who have chose that celebrity to die.

Possible Outcomes:

  • One celebrity dies – A draw is performed between those who backed that celebrity and prize of 10 x £100k scratchcards goes to that player
  • More than one celebrity dies – As above but to backers of celebrity deemed MOST FAMOUS. In the first place this will be done by entering names into Google Trends, which gives a 10-year average of searches for that person. I’ve tried a few comparisons and it seems to consistently deliver good results. For example: See comparison of Sean Connery and Paul McCartney
  • No one dies – It’s a rollover and the July prize goes up to £2 million!
Prince Philip 12
The Queen 8
Rolf Harris 7
Bruce Forsyth 5
Michael Schumacher 4
Lindsay Lohan 3
Pope Benedict XVI 3
Bashar Al_Assad 2
Justin Bieber 2
Macaulay Culkin 2
Mick Jagger 2
Muhammed Ali 2
Oscar Pistorius 2
Angela Lansbury 1
Angela Ripon 1
Barry Manilow 1
Bernie Ecclestone 1
Bob Dylan 1
Caroline Aherne 1
Christian Bale 1
Christopher Lee 1
Clive James 1
Dick Van Dyke 1
Esther Rantzen 1
Fidel Castro 1
George HW Bush 1
George Michael 1
George R R Martin 1
Harry Styles 1
Harvey Price 1
Hugh Hefner 1
James Franco 1
Jay – Z 1
Jimmy Tarbuck 1
Kanye West 1
Katie Price 1
Keith Richards 1
Luise Rainer 1
Mel Gibson 1
Mickey Rourke 1
Miley Cyrus 1
Mohammed Ali 1
Morgan Freeman 1
Nick Clegg 1
Ozzy Osbourne 1
Paul Daniels 1
Paul McCartney 1
Pope Francis 1
Robert Mugabe 1
Samantha Lethwaite 1
Sean Connery 1
Shane MacGowan 1
Shereen Nanjiani 1
Stan Lee 1
Steven Hawking 1
Stuart Hall 1
Terry Butcher 1
The Mockingbird 1
Tyrian Lanaster 1
Zsa Zsa Gabor 1

By the way, if you chose more than one dead celebrity then that doesn’t work. It’s one guess per email per month, so I chose one  of your guesses for you which was the first one I came to. Thanks!

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