Category Archives: Bad Answers

Bad pub quiz question answers, as heanded in by real people.

Bad Answers – Gary Glitter, Venice Austria and the Early Early Irish Quiz Birds

I asked “Which city in Italy was the setting for Shakespeare’s play ‘The Taming of the Shrew’?””

Answer given = “Vienna


Teams had to identify Gary Glitter in the picture round.

Popular magician, Gary Glitter.

Answer given: “Siegfried OR Roy”


I asked teams to name the 1986 film starring Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert with a soundtrack by Queen

Answer given: “The Hunt For Red October”


And a nice wee wtf moment at the Newsroom recently. I’m handing out sheets as usual and I come to a a couple who look a little bit sad and disappointed.

The speak in heavy Irish accents: “Yes, yes we’d love to do the quiz but we’re not here tomorrow.”

I explain that the quiz is happening now, not tomorrow. Suddenly they are happy and delighted and take part and have a great time and do really, really badly.

What happens in Ireland? Do you get quiz sheets 24 hours ahead of the actual quiz?


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Bad Answers

Here are some recent bad answers from the quizzes:

1. Pure Steaming Anger

There’s something just so nnnnnrggggh about Paraguay, don’t you find?





fucking paraguay
So Much Anger

2. Hell Dragon

A harmless salamander gets a fancy go-faster makeover and becomes… Hell Dragon!

Actually, a salamander

3. Delboy Error

David/Jason confusion subtracts seriousness from epic Bible story .

Jason and Goliath
I blame Del Boy for this mix-up

Mister Happy, rebranded

The classic Roger Hargreaves character gets the Scottish treatment he so richly does not deserve:


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Baby Animal Murderer Sheds Light On Outdoorsmans’ Terminology at City Pub Quiz

I had a fairly inconsequential (first round) question last week where I asked for teams to give the four-letter word for the young of a deer.

Answer: Fawn (The additional clue was given by the fact that it was the same-letter round and the letter was F).

However, as I ask the question, one guy pipes up with “What species?”

I reply honestly enough: “I don’t know… a normal deer?”

Later, I asked him what he was talking about. He said that if it’s a red deer then it’s not a fawn, it’s a “calf”.

I asked him how he knew and he said that he used to disembowel them.


“I used to live on Knoydart,” he says, “We used to take them down off the hills and disembowel them. Big ones, and little ones too.”

The time to disemboweled by draws near.

“Was this for food?”

“Oh, they’re pests, they eat all the trees, and there’s millions of the buggers. There’s no wolves, see?”


So, although there is no strict logical connection between murdering an animal and knowing the technical term for its young, I thought there’s a chance me might know his onions so I head to God (aka Wikipedia) to check out the straight facts.

Wiki gives us this:

"For most types of deer in modern English usage, the male is a buck and the female a doe, but the terms vary with dialect, and according to the size of the species. The male red deer is a stag, while for other large species the male is a bull, the female a cow, as in cattle. In older usage, the male of any species is a hart, especially if over five years old, and the female is a hind, especially if three or more years old.[109] The young of small species is a fawn and of large species a calf; a very small young may be a kid. A castrated male is a havier.[110] A group of any species is a herd. The adjective of relation is cervine; like the family name Cervidae, this is from Latin: cervus, meaning stag or deer."

So there you have it. Blood-handed, wild-eyed, mountain-roaming outdoors type is correct.

Question edited.

Database saved.

Job done.


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Bad Answers

A few recent bad answers from the #dpquiz quiz scene:

1. Turning The Acrylic Up To Eleven

No one has ever gotten Spinal Tap mixed up with Pulp. Until now

bad answer - pulp instead of spinal tap

2. Crazy Fools

bad answer water foolsThis was a name-the-film from the picture round. Clues were given: year, plot, etc. The correct answer is “Open Water” but “Water Fools” is so much better.

3. Geography Fuckup

People get Australian geography mixed up; people get Eastern European geography mixed up… but rarely with each other.

bulgaria tasmania

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Fact Clearup: Snakes and Bridges

A couple of points of order raised by quizzers over the last week or so:

Anaconda versus Pygmy Hippo

Who is the heaviest? Everyone went for anaconda but the Wiki pages are clear. Heaviest verified anaconda weighed 97.5kg while the Pygmy Hippopotamus can reach 275 kg. It’s not even close.

Another fake snake story

Nigel in the Brass Monkey Leith found a Sun article about a supposed 60-stone anaconda which would be over 300 kg but there are plenty of these mega-snake stories about and the sources are rife with phrases like “estimated” and “thought to be”.

Not the same as facts!

Humber Bridge versus Golden Gate

Last week at the Joker & The Thief, I asked for the longest bridge with the Humber Bridge and the Golden Gate as options.

I said the Humber Bridge was longer, based on a reference I’d read that said the Humber was the longest in the world when it was built in 1981.

As the Golden Gate was completed in the 1930s, I assumed it was shorter.

Grace pointed out afterwards that she’d had a quick look-up (after all the questions) and this showed the Golden Gate as longer.

Indeed, a wiki check shows:

  • Humber: 2220 metres
  • Golden Gate: 2737 metres

However, this is the total length of the bridge and if you look at the longest span (distance between the towers) you have:

  • Humber: 1410 metres
  • Golden Gate: 1280 metres

Luckily the outcome of that particular question had no effect on the overall quiz outcome but it’s an undesirable ambiguity and ultimately, a shite question.


But don’t worry, the person who wrote the question has been sacked and the database amended.

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Eight Stunningly Bad Quiz Answers

I get some amusement from the bad answers which get handed in at the quiz.

Here’s a roundup of some recent gems:

1. Mysterious New Lands

bad answer almania

Almania and Alberia sound like great places to visit. If only they existed…

2. Brian Giggs

bad answer - brian giggsThis was a question about Sports Personality of The Year winners. There is a real Brian Giggs but he does cabarets and cruise ships, rather than wing-wizardry and shagging his brother’s wife.

3. Shakespeare Limited

This question asked teams to name five Shakespeare tragedies, a question to which they responded magnificently at first, before running dry roundabout answer 4:

bad answer name shakespeare tragedies

4. German Surnames

Again this team started this question well, which asked for any 5 of the top 10 surnames in Germany. I never got the chance to ask them but I would love to know where they got their last answer from…

bad answer german names flex

5. Faint Insultbad answer gary bell end glitter

If you’re going to diss the orginal Prince of Paedo Pop, I’m sure you’d want to find something stornger than ‘bell-end’

6. Clue(less)do

Another fine start to a list round, marred by shit memory of elusive character names that definitely include a colour…

bad answer cluedo characters

… but probably not the words shite, twat and cunt.

7. Fact versus Fiction

Question three in this same-letter round asked for the fictional character whose diary was the top selling book in Britain in the 1980s.

bad answer best selling diary of 1980s fictional

For the record: Adrian Mole was made-up but Anne Frank was REAL.

8. Easy Mistake

With Australia competing in Eurovision these days, it’s easy to get Tasmania mixed up with Bulgaria.bad answer bulgaria

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