I enjoyed my one-week-only at O’Connor’s last Tuesday night – it was nice to meet you!
But now young Joshua has taken over and should be there for the foreseeable.
Cool.
Cheat News
One of the answers in tonight’s music round is The Flying Lizards. This is the song:
Tea, Toast and Money
Brilliant song. Not their song – the original was a 50s song written by Berry Gordy and was the first ever hit on Motown Records. The Beatles covered it but this 1979 version by The Flying Lizards is surely the greatest version and one of the best covers of all time.
Four rollovers last Monday. I think that’s the first time that’s happened.
The result is decent jackpots everywhere tonight.
Best are both Kerry’s:£120 at: The Portobello Tap at 7pm and top pot is £150 at The Argyle Bar at 9pm .
BURGER QUALITY REMINDER: The Portobello Tap’s burgers are so good that they SOLD OUT LAST WEEK. Popular!
Cheats
Here are the music round cheats for tonight
The first is for the Brass Leith:
Misery
It’s Kasabian, who I think from a brief glance at the video, are robbing a bank with guitars. Aye. Very good.
And the music round cheat for the Portobello Tap is this:
Tedious
Wow. That’s nothing but a super-solid mega-gold seventies classic pop banger.
Andrew Gold? I don’t know what happened to him but when he dies, they’ll play this.
Having now taken a few moments to look him up, I recall that he also did ‘Lonely Boy’ and ‘Thank You For Being A Friend’ – both middle of the road heavyweight bombs, if there is such a thing.
Gold legend. Gold leader. And he looks a bit skinny, not a feeder.
I need to go out to the bank and the post office so I’m out of time here. I’m going to post this straight up and hope to see you tonight.
See ya later – x
Dr P
Still reading? Follow me on the slightly mad world of TWITTER, or even check the perfectly safe and sane and friendly Instagram
The Tolbooth Jackpot is on a rocket to the stars. £180. That’s enough for a new coat for every member of the team. Autumn is coming.
CHEATS
By the way, here’s the audio cheat for tonight which refers to the music round at the Tolbooth:
It’s the Florence And The Machine which is just the middle-class Adele. Same shite songs, but better clothes.
Florence: Reads the Guardian
Adele: Reads Take A Break
Florence: Quinoa and Sriracha
Adele: Salt and Sauce
But both together, the same moaning-faced sad sack songbook of crying and pishy misery.
Anyway – none of that attitude at the quiz tonight. Great riches await. See you there!
Love,
Dr Paul
By the way – get yourself on Dr Paul instagram for top quiz snaps and Dr Paul Twitter is also there for those of you who prefer the madness of that particular platform.
Also: Want to quiz but have no team? Try our Meetup Group which can supply you with a ready-made team.
Here is the cheat clue for tonight’s music round at the Newsroom. It’s nobody’s favourite band: Everything But The Girl.
Ben and Tracy – being grown up
This is the kind of music you liked for about three minutes when you were 24-years-old, because it made you feel like a grown-up and you’d reached that moment where you thought growing up might be a good idea.
It’s a bit like Dido and a bit like M-People and sort of like Coldplay. In other words – it’s had all the zazz taken out.
Like the Corrs. Like Elbow.
And playing the song reminded you why you never wanted to be grown-up in the first place.
The slowness, the refinement, the lack of anything obvious. Ah yes – the po-faced greyed-out silent screaming soul-death of it all.
Suddenly you remembered that grown-ups are unstoppably dull, obsessed with mortgages and patios and two weeks in the Caribbean.
So you get spooked, put the CD (as it was back then) back in it’s case and you go back to the box marked “Heavy Metal and Rave” and go back to playing stuff you actually like.
After that, things could go either way.
If, during the 180-second brush with adulthood you accidentally got married and filled in a remarkably large number of direct debit forms in a remarkably short amount of time, then here you are: ostensibly sitting with the grown-ups, sitting in a car and changing a nappy and wondering where all the Motorhead went.
If you avoided this fate the here you are: full of booze and parties all of which thinly masks an expanding void pulsing with nothing but emptiness and darkness, right at the heart of your being. You have loads of access to Motorhead though. And possibly darts.
As they said in Alien versus Predator: “No Matter Who Wins – We All Lose“, which is possibly the truest thing ever written.
The sentiment can be translated as “fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t” and brings to mind the latest Brexit hoo-hah.
If you’ve had enough of all the shite on media about Brexit then come to the quiz.
Seriously.
I recommend it. Take your mind off it all for a few hours. Win some biscuits, some money, some booze and some self-respect.
Lothian Road has never had a DP Quiz but that changes tonight when Michael starts quizzing at the Raging Bull.
The Raging Bull is towards Tollcross – it’s on the left as you’re heading up Lothian Road and it used to be Moriarty’s but it feels a lot nicer now. They have lots of delicious booze including speciality cocktails and they also do snacks. Quiz is at 9pm.
Monkey Back
And the other good news is that the Brass Monkey is operational once again after the annual pain in the arse known as the Festival layoff.
Maybe see you up there tonight.
Cheat Tip
Here’s the cheat tip: The All Saints are in tonight’s music round at the Brass Monkey on Drummond Street:
It’s pure 1990s, all the way through. Here’s the video:
Fun All Saints fact: When she was around 10 years old, Melanie Blatt was diagnosed with scoliosis and has three metal rods in her back.
It sounds sore.
But not as sore as when you answer all the questions in the jackpot round correctly and then decide to not enter the round.
This is what it looks like when that happens:
Tragedy at the Safari Lounge the other night as this woman got them all right but declined to hand in her answers.
Don’t be a non-winning winner. Get your entries in!
So anyway – if you’re anywhere near Tollcross tonight, please go and visit the Raging Bull and give young Michael a boost at his first quiz.
Other than that I’ll see you at the Joker or the Monkey
Yes. All the festival wanks are away back to London. The students don’t turn up for another few weeks. The weather is still good. This is Edinburgh’s golden time. Gotta love it.
Cheat News
One of the answers in tonight’s picture round is Labrinth. This is the song:
Raindance
Nice enough song. Strong street dance. Remember – YOU TOO could dance like this on the way home tonight if you come and get pished at the quiz.
Both of tonight’s decent jackpots are at Kerry’s quizzes rather than mine: £90 at: The Portobello Tap at 7pm and top pot is £120 at The Argyle Bar at 9pm .
The Portobello Tap’s burgers are so good that they SOLD OUT yesterday. Popular!
Cheats
Here are the music round cheats for tonight
The first is for the Argyle Bar:
Misery
It’s Radiohead, who are so miserable they make Morrissey sound like Alan Carr.
Note: for some reason the first part of the clip is Marvin the Martian. The song doesn’t actually start whining and grating until you get to about 1’30”.
Don’t worry – at the quiz the clip only lasts for around fifteen seconds.
And the music round cheat for the Safari is this:
Tedious
Oasis are tedious like a sudoku with not enough numbers in it.
To be honest I’d happily listen to Radiohead for the rest of my life if the choice was Oasis. God they are dull.
Again, happily, the clip you’ll hear tonight is only around fifteen seconds long.
And aside from those little clips of tedium and misery, the quiz is a non-stop electric roller-coaster bolt-cutter of entertainment power and shazam.
Don’t miss it.
See ya later – x
Dr P
Still reading? Follow me on the slightly mad world of TWITTER, or even check the perfectly safe and sane and friendly Instagram
By the way – there was a mistake last week in the free answers but I’ve double checked and the above is CORRECT for tonight.
That doesn’t happen very often.
Get your Sunday on
CHEATS
By the way, here’s the audio cheat for tonight which refers to the music round at the Tolbooth:
It’s the Black Crowes!
And I’ve nothing to say about them except that they look really American. That’s not a bad thing – it’s just a true. It’s all the “rock n roll” pose.
When British acts do that – they never look like they really mean it.
Not to say that British acts don’t look rock and roll. Deep Purple, Led Zep – but I’m talking about the pose. The only ones who succesfully pull off a pose are usually ironic or comedic – e.g. Pulp or The Darkness.
Anyway, the other cheat tonight (for the Persevere Picture round) is about Boo Boo bear who is pals with Yogi Bear and lives in Jellystone Park.
“Jellystone.” Ho ho ho ho.
That’s got to be the best pun of all time.
Seriously.
But then, that’s your Americans again. It took me many childhood years to realise that Americans mean jam when they say “jelly”.
Nutters.
And if they want to say jelly they have to say “Jell-o”.
Loonies
Anyway – I went to American a few times and despite all this madness I didn’t have too much trouble with the language.
Oooh yeah.
Love,
Dr Paul
By the way – get yourself on Dr Paul instagram for top quiz snaps and Dr Paul Twitter is also there for those of you who prefer the madness of that particular platform.
Also: Want to quiz but have no team? Try our Meetup Group which can supply you with a ready-made team.
Here are the cheat clue for tonight’s music round at the Newsroom. It’s three-man wanking-triangle, Busted.
“You’re putting on an awesome show”
The video includes a stunt in which Busted chase a Concorde which is belting down the runway, about to take off.
The scruffy post-pop urchins of music jump from the truck onto the undercarriage just as the plane is rising and successfully board the plane.
Then James Charlie and Matt (that’s their names) somehow make their way up into the cabin where they proceed to make female air steward staff members want to have sex with them by using charm tactics (including throwing peanuts around, like a monkey).
I’m no charm or aviation expert, but surely this is all bollocks?
The true figure is probably higher, given that stowaways often fall unconscious and can easily fall to their deaths when the undercarriage opens, something which can be undetected.
As far as I can tell, there is no door from the wheels to the seats.
The motive is also bollocks. The article notes that most aeroplane stowaways are attempting to escape hostile living conditions and that most recorded stowaways board flights from war-torn regions towards Western Europe and the USA.
The article doesn’t mention any real historical incidents of anyone from a pop band gaining sex with a stewardess by stowing away in the undercarriage.
Pop stars usually gain sex by standing in discos and being recognised.
So the Busted video is pure bollocks but it’s OK because so is 94% of pop culture. And it’s also OK cos the Fringe is nearly over. September is so nice!
(Brass Monkey Drummond Street quiz is off during the festival)
Cheat Tip
Here’s the cheat tip: The Coral are in tonight’s music round at the Joker:
Tune’s a banger. Here’s the video:
The Coral were, I believe, from Liverpool and had a few hits. They were the next big thing. As were The Thrills, The Zutons, The Electric Six and even Starsailor.
They are all now working in A&R. That’s the way rock and roll goes.
Some of them are probably doing tech at the Fringe.
Some of them probably have highly lucrative careers writing the hits but not fronting them.
It’s the best way innit?
Write the genius once and then sit at home harvesting the moolah wile some other dope handles the touring and the adulation.
One day I hope to organise my quizzes this way.
But for now, you can witness my nose to the grindstone four nights a week, including tonight at the Joker.
