The Utter Disappointment of The New Team Name

Fri, March 16, 2012 – 8:37 am

The TALENTLESS HACKS come to the Newsroom every week, that is when they’re not over in China exploiting the human and financial resources of that great country.

Anyway, I found the TALENTLESS HACKS very excited one thursday night as I was handing out quiz sheets. Why the grinning and the excitement? Because, they told me, they were trying a new team name.

I say “Great. So what are you called now?” and they say

“You’ll have to wait and see”

So I was pretty excited too. But imagine my disappointment when we got to the end of round one, the answer sheets were handed in and there was the TALENTLESS HACKS new team name…

 

Quiz Quiztofferson?

Do me a favour. That’s nearly as hackneyed as NORFOLK AND CHANCE.

It must be noted that since this fucked up incident, the TALENTLESS HACKS have reverted to their known and loved team name.

As Ghandi said “Experimentation is a good thing – but not always with good outcomes.”

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, The Newsroom | Tagged | Comments (0)

New Drawing Contest Entries Added

Mon, March 12, 2012 – 9:32 am

Draw Tina Turner Riding on an Animal.
See entries on facebook

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog | Tagged | Comments (0)

Facebook Group for Edinburgh Pub Quizzes

Mon, March 5, 2012 – 3:08 pm

I’ve started a Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/EdinburghPubQuizzes/

If you’re a a quizmaster or a quizgoer, add yourself and chat about the Edinburgh pub quiz scene.

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By Dr Paul | Posted in News | Tagged | Comments (0)

The Time That Dan Saved A Baby From A Burning Bus

Thu, February 23, 2012 – 10:20 am

As an alternative to the jokes round the other night at the Reverie, I tried a bragging round.

Instruction: write down the best thing you have ever done. Best brag wins a packet of mint Viscount biscuits.

Here’s what was claimed:

  1. I’ve seen Elton John live in Las Vegas (at Caesar’s Palace)
  2. I was born with  this moustache.
  3. I caught crabs off Chelsea Clinton
  4. I saved a baby from a burning bus (a number eight) outside the Reverie and put the fire oot! This is backed up by a video  that a pure radge boy filmed on his tidy phone!
  5. I have my grandfather’s mummified ears in a box at home.
  6. My dad used to own this place.
  7. Dan hada bath with Whitney Houston.
  8. My brother in law won X FActor (Steve Brookstein)
  9. I rode a unicorn

Dan who works at the Reverie was responisble for number 4 above and that  proved to be the winner on the grounds that is heroic and is definitely true.

DAn, hiding behind the evil of the Beast

I  thought the crabs-from-Chelsea-Clinton might stand a chance but the more they were questioned, the more the team responsible appeared to have no back up.

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, Jokes Round, The Reverie | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Whitney Houston Jokes So Far

Sat, February 18, 2012 – 10:43 pm

Whitney Houston, not particularly enjoying the jokes

OK, Whitney Houston’s pretty famous (although most folk could only name about three of her hits), so there was a wee influx in the jokes round over the last week at  the various pub quizzes.

Here they are so far:

 

What’s the difference between Whitney Houston and Maggie Thatcher?

Whitney died a tragic death and that cow is still alive.

#############

Whitney Houston is Bobby Brown Bread

#############

Why did Whitney Houston cross the road?

She didnae. She’s deid.

#############

What’s the difference between Whitney Houston and  a dead crack head?

Fuck all.

#############

Breaking news: Bobby Brown has been found dead with a note saying “Two Can Play At That Game…”

#############

What’s the difference between Whitney Houston and my car?

My car can reach 50.

#############

What did Whitney Houston and the Costa Concordia have in common?

They both hit too many rocks and died in the water!

#############

“It’s not right, but its OK,” said Whitney Houston’s coroner…

… as he took off his trousers.

#############

What is Whitney Houston’s next film going to be called?

The Bodybag

#############

Whitney Houston died doing what she did best…

Holding notes!

#############

What’s pink and lies on the doormat?

Whitney Houston’s Valentine Cards.

#############

News of Whitney Houston’s ACIDental death travelled with such SPEED, its made my voice CRACK with emotion and now I’m HORSE because she was a real HEROIN of mine until she met Mr BROWN. She really made a HASH of things then her life went to POT. EE! It’s such a BLOW, someone should have kept TABS on her.

#############

What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and Whitney Houston?

Ferguson is still playing Giggs.

#############

Thanks to the teams at the Brass Monkey Leith, from whence most of these ‘jokes’ came.

N.B. we also had a team called “WHIT! NAE HOUSTON?” Arf.

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, Jokes Round | Comments (3)

Jackpots This Week

Mon, January 30, 2012 – 12:33 pm

CHEAT PHRASE
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD
If you don’t know how to use the cheat phrase, you should read this.

JACKPOTS
Tonight (Monday), 7pm, Brass Monkey Leith, £60

Tonight (Monday), 9pm, Reverie, £100

Thursday, 9pm, Newsroom, £50

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By Dr Paul | Posted in News | Comments (0)

What Do Prizes Make? Points!

Fri, January 27, 2012 – 11:16 am

The latest astonishing offer at the Dr Paul pub quiz is this:

BRING ME UNWANTED GIFTS TO GIVE AWAY IN THE JOKES ROUND AND I WILL GIVE YOU POINTS.

Tariff of points-for-gifts:

  1. Give-away-able gift: 1 point
  2. Really brilliant gift: 2 points
  3. Mind-warp awesome gift: 3 points

Paul from THE NEPHRONS was the first to take advantage of the offer at last night’s Newsroom super quiz. The Spiderman Socks earned as 2 points on the scale.

Unfortunately the bonus points weren’t enoguh and the Nephrons finished thrid or fourth or something. But the bird who ended up winning the socks (for the Mister Sheen joke) was delighted!

Rule: one gift per team per quiz.

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, The Newsroom | Tagged , , | Comments (0)

RIP Max Thomson

Wed, January 25, 2012 – 12:58 pm

I did not know Max Thomson very well at all, I know his quiz team-mate Brian Pendreigh far better, but Max came to  the quiz quite a few times with THE DUDE ABIDES team and not only was he good at trivia, it was always a pleasure to be in his company.

So it was a shock to hear that Max took his own life last Wednesday in Leith, just two days after the broadcast of his victorious appearance (above) together with Brian and his team ‘Tram Lines’ on the BBC quiz program Eggheads.

As with so many suicides, it appears that no one expected this or had any indication that he might do such a thing. It’s a complicated and tragic business. What can you say?

RIP Max, and here’s a few photos of him at the Dr Paul quiz over the last few years:

Also

Thanks to Brian for Eggheads snap.

 

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, News | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Getting It Wrong Twice

Wed, January 25, 2012 – 9:44 am

Bad spelling is everywhere these days, and thanks to the addition of alcohol, it barely registers on my busy brain when I’m marking pub quiz answers.

But this one caught my eye. I love the careful endeavour involved in crossing out a badly spelled answer, simply to fuck it up one more time.

Dr Paul pub quiz, Edinburgh, Scotland. Example of poor spelling at the quiz.

On a positive, I’d love to visit ‘Yogaslavia’. I’d imagine everyone would be very fit.

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Bad Answers | Comments (0)

Forks In The Eyes, etc

Sun, January 22, 2012 – 9:23 pm

Here’s a quick round-up of some recent entries in the jokes round, all of which may have been considered for the ‘World of Pain’ segment of the jokes round.

In other words, these are offensive to some. If you’re the sort of person who gets offended at things, look away now, do not read these jokes, click somewhere nice, don’t read this shit. You’ll be upset. And then you will comment or email asking for an apology. And frankly, there is no apology, so look away now.

OK, for anyone still reading: here are the jokes (click on a pic to see it full size):

The first is a rather standard “fork in baby’s eyes” HARM joke:

Baby with forks in the eyes joke

The horror continues with this one from  our Halloween special at the Reverie,

stopping guisers horrible joke

Hate special needs stereoptypes and lingo? Complain to Ricky Gervais, after all he probably wrote this:

mong joke

And now a visit to the doctor’s surgery. Bewar, this joke does NOT have a happy ending.

cancer joke [capricorn]

The continuing life in the jokes round kind of depends on stuff like this spicing up the harmless jokes. We could debate all night about what’s right to read out and not right to read out.  Is it a valid position to be offended. I think 90% of the time, the answer is no.

But there is a 10%, and sometimes I don’t read everything out that gets handed  in. The success of this or not can perhaps be judged by the fact that I  have NEVER been punched in the face despite running a jokes round for almost the entire lifespan of my pub quizzing (since 1996).

There’s almost a first time…

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By Dr Paul | Posted in Dr Paul's Blog, Jokes Round | Comments (0)