Monday Night – Last Big Jackpot Standing

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot:£300. Cheat: George Harrison (music round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £240. Cheat news: Saffron (pic round)

Last Monday was a red-letter day for Luiz Araujo, who have been teetering on the brink of greatness for several months.

After a string of bad fortune on other weeks, their persistence paid off and they bagged £240 last Monday at the Safari. It was a great moment:

Earlier on in the evening, no one managed to nail down to Brass Monkey Leith jackpot, so from a pool of recent large jackpots, tonight is the last one remaining intact.

Come and win £300 tonight. Yes: three hundred pounds.

Here’s the cheat info: a music clip from the music round at Brass Monkey Leith tonight…

It’s George Harrison of The Beatles doing a solo number. I don’t usually go for stuff that’s overtly ‘nice’ but there’s a something about the song. It’s a good ‘un.

By the way, my side project is CUNTO. It’s amazing and you can buy a pack now.

Cunto
Cunto

Who’s in the deck? Russell Brand and 41 other complete Cuntos. That’s who.

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, lawd.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday Night Pub Quizzes In Edinburgh

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Patti (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Jean Michel Jarre (music round)

Here is the music round cheat info for the Tolbooth: a stunning clip of super-French-ness from the master of all things electronique, Monsieur Jean-Michel Jarre.

Listen very carefully, he will only play this once. (Unless you put the video on repeat).

Meanwhile , people keep asking me about Brexit, Russia and what it all means for the quiz.

Well, I put a report into the British Union of Analysts and asked them to prognosticate.

The bottom line is that Russians murdering their spies and Britain leaving Europe is set to have MINIMAL IMPACT on the quiz.

For this, we should all be grateful.

x

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Thursday Sensations

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £30. Cheat answer: Disciples (music round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Mister Bounce (pic round)

Thursday is a strange day to work out.

Well it’s probably an easy day to work out if you have a big brain like Stephen Hawking on your side but I guess he cannot help you now.

This might help: its the music round cheat from tonight’s music round at the Argyle:

Tip: don’t actually watch the video any longer than you have to to pick up the tune. It’s a decent song but the video is phenomenally boring.

More interesting is Jim Bowen talking about an episode of Bullseye that they were unable to put on air.

Speaking of which: which of these three was YOUR favourite scientist and entertainer?

My vote goes to Doddy. Bowen’s funny guy but a nasty old racist. Hawking talks bollocks which is of no use to me whatsoever. Dodd does four-hour standup. Legend. Winner.

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Quizzes Tonight – Wednesday Night In Edinburgh

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Glaxo Smith Klein (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: Slade (music round)

Big jackpot at the Monkey last week means minimum amount tonight.

Still loads of great fun to be had and I have now taken delivery of Cunto Cards so you can buy a pack off me tonight, directly.

Meanwhile, here is one of the music round pieces from the Monkey tonight. It’s from one of my favourite bands, Slade.

When I was a kid and first into pop music at the start of the 1980s, Slade were yesterday’s men, comedy characters from the dim and distant mid-nineteen-seventies.

You knew their songs, they’re ‘oldies’ were always on the radio. And you knew they were wacky: the bloke with the mirrors on his top hat and the gurn. The daft looking-cunt on guitar. Song titles with funny spelling. For instance: Skweeze Me Pleeze Me. A ha ha ha. So hilarious.

You knew them primarily for ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ which was virtually the British national anthem at that time. Literally everyone’s favourite song. No exceptions.

Then, just as they were in danger of becoming a ‘national treasure’ they bucked their own legacy and had a string of 1980s hits which were slightly less energetic than the 70s numbers but still had plenty of powerful pop quality.

This is one of them.

Come out and win tonight. Go on. Come and have feel.

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Monday Night Bangers – Huge Jackpot Monday

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: 250. Cheat: Mickey Rourke (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £240. Cheat news: DJ Sammy (music round)

Even bigger jackpots. Monday offers you the chance to get your sticky mitts on nearly five hundred quid which is nearly the amount of miles that the Proclaimers walk every week.

 

Here’s the video for a clip from tonight’s music round at the Safari. It is so pop trance perfect. This is how the heart beats, for real, forever.

By the way, my side project is CUNTO. It’s amazing and you can buy a pack now.

Cunto
Cunto

 

Who’s in the deck? Nigel Farage and 41 other utter Cuntos. That’s who.

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, mofo.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday Night Out At The Quiz

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: PJ Harvey (music round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £150. Cheat: Babylon 5 (pic round)

A hundred and fifty quid? You could buy twelve packs of Cunto Cards for that

Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Persevere:

FACT: PJ Harvey has an MBE for services to music and she is still the only artist (so far) to win the Mercury Music Award twice.

 

Hope to see you at the quizzes tonight.

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PS – I miss this badge. It broke. AKB stands for AW Kunts Barry which equates to the Tits/Willies team at the Percy.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Every One Hates The Beast

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot £60. Cheat answer: Flute (pic round)

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £150. Cheat answer: India Arie (music round)

The Beast From The East destroyed last Thursday so we are back, stronger, taller, faster, Scooter.

Here’s the music round cheat from tonight’s Newsroom quiz:

 

India Arie has a voice that is very smooth but a little bland, like well-made Ovaltine. Does anyone drink Ovaltine any more? Or is it just me in my Dickensian past?

Three minutes later….

A quick internet search reveals that people ARE still drinking Ovaltine. Well fuck me sideways.

Here’s some other Google searches for things people may or may not still be doing these days. How many of these have you done in the last week?

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Wednesday. It’s More Than A Feeling

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Michaelangelo (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £180 Cheat: Maria McKee (music round)

Amazing jackpot up at the monkey tonight. Proper Bullseye money.

How about that music round cheat? Here it is:

Serious schmaltz, 80s style.

And that’s just a wee reminder of the cash your freaked-out face could be munching on round about half past ten tonight at the Monkey (Quiz starts at 9)

Yo!

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sensational Jackpot Monday Night Edinburgh Pub Quiz Action

Quizzes in Edinburgh Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: 200. Cheat: Chocolate Puma (music round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £210. Cheat news: Othello (pic round)

Absolutely loads of money on offer at the quizzes tonight. The kind of money that gets Warren Buffet greased and Elon Musk hard.

Be part of it. Say you were there and be ready to tell the story about the time you went to both Monday night Dr Paul quizzes, won both jackpots and cleared more than £400 in Great British Pounds.

Here’s the video for a clip from tonight’s music round at the Brass LEith. It’s from 2001 and sounds EXACTLY like 2001. I think it perhaps THE most typical track of 2001. Even more so.

Except may Rui Da Silva, DJ Pied Piper and Roger Sanchez

The first of those three links is particularly 2001 because it’s introduced by Gail Porter and she references Jamie Theakston.

I think the sample in the Rui Da Silva song is Spandau Ballet, but I can’t quite place it.

If I wasn’t a quizmaster I think I’d produce electronic dance music, mainly built around samples of Spandau Ballet, Simple Minds, and Duran Duran songs of the early 1980s. It sounds like a decent way to make money.

It also sounds like an easy way to make fuck all money. I think there are quite a few procuders of electronic dance music based on old pop. I think it’s a buyers’ market.

So I’ll probably stick to quizzes just now. And of course, Cunto.

What is Cunto? Cunto is like Top Trumps but the deck is stacked with utter cunts. It’s my new invention and you can buy a pack now.

Cunto
Cunto

 

Who’s in the deck? Donald Trump and 43 other prime cunts. That’s who

Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, mofo.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Sunday Night – Good Jackpots Are On Offer Tonight. Will You Be Tempted Out

Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Moscow (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Heart (music round)

Both jackpots have reached a good level for tonight’s quizzes. Will you be tempted out of your nest and your Netflix and your solitude and your depression?

I thoroughly recommend making a social out of Sunday before the creeping darkness of loneliness overcomes you.

Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Tolbooth:

 

FACT: This pop video has more hair than the cat and dog home at Portobello. It is great.

By the way, if you see Phil Collins anywhere on the internet, remember to alert the authorities, as his campaign to control the mind of every living soul is gaining ground.

Whatever you do, don’t look him in the eye.

Turn away.

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For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

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