Here’s some free advice from me, your old pal, Dr Paul.
Don’t go to the bother of getting all the answers right in the jackpot round and then write down that Moscow is 25,000 miles away from Edinburgh as a tiebreak answer.
Other examples exist but the distance questions come up fairly frequently.
The highest number this would ever be would be Edinburgh – Auckland (New Zealand) which would be about eleven thousand miles.
Wikipedia sentence(s) of the day, found today at 0911, is about French synth maestro Jean-Michel Jarre and a doomed collaboration:
“Jarre worked with several Houston-based astronauts, including Bruce McCandless II and Ronald McNair, an accomplished musician who was to have played the saxophone on “Rendez-Vous VI”, recorded in the weightless environment of space. The live performance was curtailed by McNair’s death in the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster on 28 January 1986.”
Here’s a picture of Jean Michel Jarre, still being sad about it, thirty years later.
The big jackpot finally went at the Argyle last week so we are Back To Basics for tonight. No bad thing.
The cheat music for tonight is for the earlier quiz (the Argyle) and it is a band, an artiste, an act named ‘Galantis’. It’s the most standard dance music ever but they’ve tried to put a story in the video. It’s reasonable successful – reminds me of Da Funk video by Daft Punk
Anyway, that’s all the words I have except that if you look up to the sky and look for that tiny pixel of the sky that contains your dreams, and if you just hold on for a moment, hold on for a moment more and wish your way to the stars, then nothing will happen.
I’m not a Bubble-Burster or a Debbie Downer – I’m a realist.
However if you take ACTION, like if you sign up to some charity that saves the monkey then stuff WILL HAPPEN and that will generally be that the CEO of the charity will continue to enjoy a £100k per annum lifestyle and the occasional monkey may get saved.
CHOICES
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Yeah. Also, remember to stop me and buy a packet of Cunto Cards if you’re looking for that special gift for the foul-mouthed fiend in your life.
Great stuff eh? Ye cannae beat Wednesday in the same way that you cannot beat Brian Jacks at dips or squat-thrusts.
If you are under 40 you might have difficulty remembering what the hell squat thrusts are. Let me tell you, they were big business in the early 80s.
We were ALL doing squat thrusts.
Anyway: here’s the music clue for tonight’s quiz at the Joker & The Thief. It’s possibly the biggest load of shite of all time
The original was proper fantastic normal Europop but this turkey does his sad-business, spoils it and make a shitty video to go with it which is so heavy-handed it even washes everything out in blue because blue = sad.
This kind of over-obvious symbology along with what I call “the crying voice” are the reasons I cannae stand modern pop. Does my absolute nut in.
The worst bit is when you look at the youtube view count and you see a figure of nearly 300 million. All of those millions of people can’t be wrong… can they?
Maybe it’s me who is the wrong one. I guess we’ll find out before we die.
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Here’s the advertorial.
I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.
You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.
If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.
You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.
The USA and the Philippines may be struggling with the aftermath of cyclones and hurricanes and all that business but because we live in ultra-reasonable Scotland, this is not an issue and should NOT prevent anyone coming to the quiz tonight.
If there are any weather or flooding or transport issues which DO prevent you from making it to the two entertainment centres tonight (the Monkey and the Safari) then let me know on Twitter.
Meanwhile, here is a cheat clue for tonight’s quiz at the Safari, it’s the The B-52s:
The song doesn’t start until 8.35 but I’ve linked to this video so you can see a couple of their other songs. They really are the greatest band in pop history.
But never mind the B-52s. You need to choose what you’re going to wear to the quiz tonight. Something shiny? Something checked? Make it work.
#fashionchoices
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Remember: tonight’s pub quizzes are located less than a mile apart. You could, feasibly, do the double (and people do).
First one at the Brass Leith finishes at 8.30pm and the second one at the Safari Lounge begins at 9pm (although I don’t usually hit the first question until about 10 past or quarter past)
I might be on the bike tonight but if I’m getting a taxi I’m always happy to give you a lift between the two places. Free of charge!
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By the way 2018 Cunto Cards are in stock so stop me and buy a deck if you want to get in on the action. Or click on the image below to buy them online…
Cunto 2018
Yo
Dr P
Still reading? Follow me on TWITTER, people, or even check the Instagram
Here are the things you COULD do in Edinburgh on a Sunday night:
Go to the Tattoo. This is a bad idea. The festival is over and the temporary stadium has been dismantled. It is over.
Go to the cinema. This is an awful idea. The plots are all the same and Tom Cruise just gets richer and richer for hacking out the same pish, repeatedly.
Eat out in a restaurant. Nah. Paid dining has been revealed by scientists to be the single most disappointing way that modern humans waste their wages money. I can’t argue with scientists.
Get tae the Pub Quiz. Yasssss. Thumbs all the way UP. Come on. Sexy time.
To be fair, you could also go for a game of darts and there’s not much negative I could say about that. Darts is barry, but I’d personally prefer it if you came to the quiz.
Here’s the music round cheat which pertains to the Tolbooth tonight. It’s Steps:
The video is when they used this power pop to ROCK Hyde Park:
And you can say what you like. Steps were great.
By the way, after a string of midweek jackpot wins, tonight is as big as the pots get for the week, particularly the £150 at the Tolbooth.
Roll it up and smoke it.
Yo!
Dr Paul
Still looking at this ? Try my instagram for healthy quiz photo feed goodness:
9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £50. Cheat answer: Albert Collins (music round)
So last week was a weird one at the Argyle: heightened jackpot but low turnout. Will it be the same again this week? If so, it increases your own chances of winning the big money if you attend and play the jackpot round.
The cheat music for tonight is for the later quiz at the Newsroom (9pm) and it’s a band called The Vapors. You all know the song:
That’s all I’ve got to say today except that I am still surprised that giraffes sleep standing up (used the question at both quizzes last night).
I fell asleep standing up once. I was on the London Underground. When I woke up I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I guess giraffes feel like this EVERY SINGLE DAY.
The rest of the time they must spend wondering how everyone got so small.
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Yeah. Also, remember to stop me and buy a packet of Cunto Cards if you’re looking for that special gift for the foul-mouthed fiend in your life.
If days of the week are characterised by animals then surely Wednesday is the magnificent Eagle, with its wings spread wide and casting a shadow of its greatness across all the other days of the week, from its powerful position in the centre.
Whaddya reckon? Maybe Monday is a clever mouse? Perhaps Saturday is a big stupid lion. Who knows.
Anyway: here’s the music clue for tonight’s quiz at the Brass Monkey. It’s a composition by your old pal Dimitri Shostakovich
Tune! And some nice dancing to go with it. Young love.
Anyway – there’s not much more to be said cos its 1027 and that means Popmaster with Ken Bruce starts in three minutes and I want this posted before I go and get another impressive score just by standing in my kitchen and barking answers at the tranny.
I often get 27 or 30. How’s YOUR popmaster form these days?
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Here’s the advertorial.
I sell my utterly hilarious Cunto Cards in case you didn’t know.
You can always buy a deck from me tonight at the quiz and they are also available online.
If you want to try before you buy, the Joker and The Thief AND Brass Monkey on Drummond Street both have packs behind the bar you can borrow.
You can also follow Cunto Twitter for daily anti-cunto action.
