Ballad Of A Failed Cheat

Nocheating1Brigid told me that in all her years going to pub quizzes she only ever attempted to cheat once.

The incident happened years ago, before the availability of Google on phones but after the invention of SMS.

Brigid decided that one question was too hard and that her mum would know. So, after a quick run round the moral maze she decided it was OK to text her mum the question, mentioning that it was for a pub quiz.

The return text came back swiftly. All it said was:

Don’t cheat“.

Quality parenting.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Dead Pool Pundits Follow The News

howard halifaxThere are still a couple of weeks to go to get your names in for the August Dead Pool. The following is a list of names so far.

The most notable movers so far this month is former-family-favourite Rolf Harris, whose recent guilty conviction and subsequent reported suicide-watch in jail have led 5 quizgoers to back an August demise. This compares to one vote for July.

Another newsmaker who Edinburgh quizgoers are backing to die is the absolute theocratic monarch of the newly proclaimed Islamic state, Abu Bakr al-Bagdhadi. The ISIS leader is a new entry and has two backers so far.

My favourite so far this month is “Howard from The Halifax Adverts“. Bloody hell. You never know.

By the way, if you’re reading this and thinking, “where’s mine” – I only load up the slips I get which have a LEGIBLE email address. Others go in the bin, ken?

 

August Dead Pool So Far (number in brackets = current number of backers)

Prince Philip (5)
Rolf Harris (5)
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (2)
Alex Salmond (1)
Baroness Butler-Sloss (1)
Bruce Forsyth (1)
Courtney Love (1)
Daniel Radcliffe (1)
David Luiz (1)
Elton John (1)
George Lucas (1)
George R R Martin (1)
Holly Willoughby (1)
Howard From The Halifax Adverts (1)
Ian Paisley (1)
Joaquin Phoenix (1)
Judi Dench (1)
Lady Gaga (1)
Lindsay Lohan (1)
Michael J Fox (1)
Michael Schumacher (1)
Muhammed Ali (1)
Nigel Farage (1)
Nouri al-Maliki (1)
Oscar Pistorius (1)
Paul McCartney (1)
Pete Doherty (1)
Roger Moore (1)
Sarah Jessica Parker (1)
Sean Connery (1)
Shia LaBeouf (1)
The King of Thailand (1)
The Queen (1)
Wilco Johnston (1)
William Shatner (1)

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

One Quiz Only Tonight

The World Cuhoff colours germany ballp interferes with life tonight and so there is only one quiz:

6pm Persevere

Jackpot: £60

Cheat phrase: “THE HAMMER’S GONNA MAKE YOU DIE”

The 9pm quiz at the No.1 Grange Road will return next Sunday as life returns to normal.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Exclusive: Stephen Hawking Joins Take That

In a recent list round, I asked quizzes to name all five members of Take That. I liked this entry where for some reason the first name that sprang into their heads was Jason Orange and, when unable to recall all five, they just shoved your old pal Stephen Hawking into the line up.bad answer - take that members

Imagine the dance routines.

 

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Captain Mick, Defier of Gravity

ps_cpt mick wins jim beam

This is your pal and mine Mick. Captain Mick that is – note the armband. And that’s him living it large at the Percy last Sunday with a bottle of Jim, as per winners’ privilege.

Mick defied the years and gravity at the start of the quiz when he performed a HAND-STAND to win the enthusiasm bonus. I ain’t never seen a hand-stand before at the quiz. It’s a first.

Mick rules.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Do These Boys Know What The Future Holds?

young men unaware of lifes brutalityA couple of clean-cut students with bright eyes ablaze and hopes for the future intact win a booze token one night in a basement pub, thus beginning a downwards spiral of alcohol, self-abuse and self-piss.

In thirty years time will they remember that THIS was the moment at which the catastrophe that was their life began to write itself?

I presume not.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Fashion Advice Contained In Foreigners’ Joke

Earlier this year we had a Costa Rican/Qubecois team, which is an unusual combination to find at No.1 The Grange.

As you would expect, their jokes round submission was unique too:

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What’s a Clavi-Organ?

TheeuwesClaviorganumGot the “are you a real doctor” question the other night, this time from a real doctor who is an expert in Clavi Organs. What’s a clavi organ? Well I’ll let Eleanor (that was her name) explain. After all, she wrote the Wikipedia page on Clavi-organs.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Classy Bird, Overheard

shot of redAt one of the Sunday quizzes recently, in trooped a real class act along with all her class act pals.

“Geez a shot of whatever’s strongest,” she says.

Respect.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Dead Pool – June 2014

queen and prince philpSo, the last quizzes of May 2014 are done and dusted, so here’s the full list of Dr Paul’s Million Pound Dead Pool predictions for the coming month of June.

The number shown is the number of people who have chose that celebrity to die.

Possible Outcomes:

  • One celebrity dies – A draw is performed between those who backed that celebrity and prize of 10 x £100k scratchcards goes to that player
  • More than one celebrity dies – As above but to backers of celebrity deemed MOST FAMOUS. In the first place this will be done by entering names into Google Trends, which gives a 10-year average of searches for that person. I’ve tried a few comparisons and it seems to consistently deliver good results. For example: See comparison of Sean Connery and Paul McCartney
  • No one dies – It’s a rollover and the July prize goes up to £2 million!
Prince Philip 12
The Queen 8
Rolf Harris 7
Bruce Forsyth 5
Michael Schumacher 4
Lindsay Lohan 3
Pope Benedict XVI 3
Bashar Al_Assad 2
Justin Bieber 2
Macaulay Culkin 2
Mick Jagger 2
Muhammed Ali 2
Oscar Pistorius 2
Angela Lansbury 1
Angela Ripon 1
Barry Manilow 1
Bernie Ecclestone 1
Bob Dylan 1
Caroline Aherne 1
Christian Bale 1
Christopher Lee 1
Clive James 1
Dick Van Dyke 1
Esther Rantzen 1
Fidel Castro 1
George HW Bush 1
George Michael 1
George R R Martin 1
Harry Styles 1
Harvey Price 1
Hugh Hefner 1
James Franco 1
Jay – Z 1
Jimmy Tarbuck 1
Kanye West 1
Katie Price 1
Keith Richards 1
Luise Rainer 1
Mel Gibson 1
Mickey Rourke 1
Miley Cyrus 1
Mohammed Ali 1
Morgan Freeman 1
Nick Clegg 1
Ozzy Osbourne 1
Paul Daniels 1
Paul McCartney 1
Pope Francis 1
Robert Mugabe 1
Samantha Lethwaite 1
Sean Connery 1
Shane MacGowan 1
Shereen Nanjiani 1
Stan Lee 1
Steven Hawking 1
Stuart Hall 1
Terry Butcher 1
The Mockingbird 1
Tyrian Lanaster 1
Zsa Zsa Gabor 1

By the way, if you chose more than one dead celebrity then that doesn’t work. It’s one guess per email per month, so I chose one  of your guesses for you which was the first one I came to. Thanks!

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.