Sunday Night Pub Quiz Edinburgh

Get on board. Hang around. Be teamy with a team.

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot : £90. Cheat: One of the answers in the music round is Finland. And yes, it’s a Eurovision song. You’d better listen to the tune in the video below cos otherwise you’ll never recognise it unless you’re Eurovision daft like me…

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: The picture round involves Chuck Norris.

And by the way, see Chuck Norris? He’s not that hard. I know someone whose dad beat Chuck Norris in a fight. True story.

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Thursday Quiz Time In Edinburgh

Well, last week we had cataclysmic jackpots: £270 at half past eight for team Omni and £200 for Rubber Gun Squad a couple of hours later at the Newsroom. Less adrenaline tonight but still great quizzes.

7pm – Argyle Bar (Cellar). Jackpot: £30. Cheat: David Jason is in the picture round.

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: The music round contains Air. Hear the tune by clicking on the video:

No pop video available and live version is like waiting for a big barry double decker bus but then a C5 City Sprinter turns up and it’s just crap.

Do you kids even know what a C5 City Sprinter is? Jeezo.

In the late eighties they were these crappy little buses that went to places like Restalrig and Wester Hailes. If you ever got on one you had to merge fluids with the person sitting next to you. There was no space.

As for the sprinting bit? They went at the same speed as the other traffic.

Obvs.

Duh.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b4/df/8a/b4df8abdbda370c9cf3c60e1904efda0.jpg

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Cha Cha Wednesday

It’s not like you have to do an actual cha-cha just to do the quiz. You can do anydance you like. Or none at all, if you want to be like that.

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot: £30. Cheat: Alphabeat are in the music round. See vid below to hear the song.

9pm – Brass Monkey (Drummond Street). Jackpot: £30. Cheat: The picture round includes the answer The Netherlands.

 

Alphabeat are Danish. They look Danish. The video is cool. It’s a bit like Inner Space, starring Martin Short.

We had a rule about that film back in the 90s in a flat I stayed in. We had Inner Space on a VHS video cassette but You were ONLY allowed to watch Inner Space if you had consumed acid.

The rule worked. Still freaks me out to this day.

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Who Knew That “Cock Or Ball?” Was Even A Thing?

Until two Wednesdays ago, I had no idea that ‘cock-or-ball’ was even a thing.

cock or ball
Cock or Ball? Myles style.

How it works:

  1. Turn away from the gathering, for a little privacy,
  2. Fetch a piece of your ballsack OR cock and introduce a portion of it forwards through your fly.
  3. Ensure that there is a great enough portion to be seen, but a small enough portion not to be obvious.
  4. Turn to face the gathering, present your portion, and challenge them thus: “Cock or Ball?” (see above for an example by Myles from the Brass Monkey.
  5. The assembly make their guesses.
  6. You reveal the answer (not necessarily the proof)

I have no doubt that at some point in the future, this will make it to Channel 5.

Did you get the right answer? It was Myles’s…

…cock.

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Monday Pub Quiz Action In The Great Village of Edinburgh

Are you in the village tonight? Are you a village citizen of the BURGER or La Leith? Do you need quiz action tonight? Dman right you do:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot :£100. Cheat: One of the picture round answers is Monet.

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: One of the music round hits is by Tame Impala. This is one of my infrequent concessions to youth although the tune is from two years ago, so to some of the younger quizgoers this will equate to Fred Flintstone.

Time spins slowly and fast and if you feel slightly dead inside after all these years then you’re probably doing it right.

The video appears to be a fan-made effort linking sequences from Twin Peaks to the Tame Impala song. It kinda goes. Makes sense.

Do you eat meat? Did you know that if you eat meat then an animal has to die. I’m kinda shocked. Maybe I’ll stop eating meat.

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Sunday Sin Bin

Have YOU been bad this weekend? Well then it’s time to atone by going to the quiz. Your penance may involve winning cash.

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: The picture round includes the answer ‘Goya

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot £30. Cheat: The music round includes Pulp. It’s an album track so you might not recognise it straight away. You can hear it in the video below.

Pulp are great. Love all their stuff. This son was off of their late 90s album ‘This Is Hardcore’. Gets me every time.

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King Sized Mega Jackpots Tonight

Last week’s Thursday quizzes both ended in rollover. Tonight sees LARGE prizes for players:

7pm – Argyle Bar. Jackpot £270. Cheat news: Music Round includes Gary Moore. See video below.

9pm – The Newsroom. Jackpot £200. Cheat news: The picture round includes a beaver.

Gary Moore had the blues. He had a lot of blues. So blue. Now he’s dead, he feels nothing? Who is the winner in this confrontation? Only time.

Remember, don’t put him in the DEAD POOL.

 

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Hey – It’s Wednesday

Fonz’s favourite day? Wednesday.

David Attenborough’s favourite day? Wednesday.

Bryan Ferry’s favourite day? Wednesday.

Chances are, if you’re a cool dog then your favourite day is Wednesday. Come to the quiz.

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: I screwed up last week but have double-checked and this week it definitely is Inner City in the music round. See clip below.

9pm – The Brass Monkey (Drummond Street). Jackpot £60. Cheat: One of the answers in the picture round tonight is ‘Shaft

 

 

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Justice Comes In Hashtags

We had these Americans in at the Newsroom a wee while ago and they were called #justiceforbradswife. They even had a T-shirt to go with their team name:

justice for brads wife

I asked them what this was about. I probably did in a Tom Selleck accent with extra-septic emphasis like:

“Hey buddy, what the heeeeyelll is that about? Pardner? Yee hah!”

They wouldn’t explain but said to look online and that I would see a hilarious story. So here I am, several months later, finally getting round to my investigation.

TLDR:

  • Some guy’s wife got sacked at a restaurant chain in the US.
  • husband goes mental about it on the internet.
  • Internet responds by creating giant hashtag war on the chain.

Who knows what happened in the end? I ran out of giving-a-fuck pretty quickly.

The American in the Newsroom promised hilarity but I think in all the links I have found in the last ten minutes or so I have not ACTUALLY laughed. It’s not really that funny. Someone gote

But then, I am now forty-five years old. When you’re 45 you still laugh at people falling down escalators, but very little else. Seen it all before

Verdict:

Poor show

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Monday Comes Like A Sharp Blade

A sharp blade to the neck. You can only dodge the blade by escaping from your house or flat. You must go to the pub. This is known by the wise.

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: Old Henry Mancini is in the music round tonight. See video to hear the song. You’ll know it.

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £30. Cheat: The picture round includes Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman? Remember her? She was dead dead dead famous cos of Star Wars. That got in The Metro cos it was Star Wars.

Then it was a bit quiet then it was Black Swan which also got in the Metro because it was about lesbians or it had lesbians in it, or something. So that’s always money in the bank.

A quick read of Portman’s Wiki reveals other interesting stuff though. Did you know that she launched her own range of vegan footwear in 2007?

No, me neither.

Vegan footwear. How about that? You can keep the pavement out of your foot and a cow does not have to die. Fucking amazing. Go on yourself, Natalie.

Oh no! I’ve just read that the vegan shoe operation went bust shortly afterwards.

What about after that? I don’t know. I have now lost interest so if you want to know any more…

 

 

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