There’s football at Easter Road tonight but we anticipate no problems whatsoever as I hear ticket sales are slack.
No surprise when you consider the offering is a poor Scotland team seeking to eke out a thin win in a godforsaken “friendly” match against a flimsy Canadian side who literally don’t know how to play the game, seeing as how all their energy is taken up with maple syrup and ice hockey and mooses.
Obviously, the usual die-hard no-matter-what nationalists* with red beards and kilts and all that will attend and they may be joined by some of the Canadian students who live in the city, out of curiosity.
But the time the match is over on this freezing March night, these students will be cursing their curiosity, wondering where their money went, and questioning why anyone would ever make a fuss about “soccer”.
They’ll never attend live football again. Why? Because friendlies are rubbish. So don’t go to Easter Road. Come to the quiz instead.
Good jackpots tonight by the way: £150 in both boozers. Win big and feel it.
The cheat clue for the Joker is Monie Love. It’s in the music round and the song in question is this:
*I voted Yes last time before you get all mental about that sentence. I might not this time though. Genuine don’t know.
NEWSROOM, 9PM – Jackpot £100, Cheat: “Sir Mix-a-Lot” (see vid at bottom of post)
Tonight’s quizzes focus on the bilateral struggle of charity and capitalism and their varying efforts to make the world a better place.
No they don’t, it’s just about getting pissed and winning cash.
So the music round clue tonight is for the Newsroom and it’s this amazing piece of old-skool bombast from Sir Mix-a_Lot, about whom I know little other than the fact that he likes big butts. You’ll recognise the hook.
Leith Walk? The luckiest street in Europe? It’s true. Some scientists measured the luck of people walking up and down Leith Walk and compared this with statistics from three hundred other streets in Edinburgh and a similar sample from eighty other cities around the world including Jakarta and Vienna.
Turns out that Leith Walk is luckier than anyone previously imagined. It’s the best. Just walking down it will make you luckier by eight per cent (average). Actually going to the boozer there will increase your spawn by seventeen per cent (average)*.
The amazing Safari Lounge is hidden away in Abbeyhill. I keep meeting people who go in there after walking past it for months and they always say “Aaah – it’s really great – I wish I’d popped in before.”
So, take it from them and while you’re at it, come to the quiz.
Jackpot: Tonight’s super jackpot is…
Cheat: The picture round contains the answer ‘Luxembourg”
This is your doctor speaking. Take my advice: be cool.
*remember that most of the shit I come up with on these blogs isnae even real.
I did a one-off quiz for Napier University the other night. I got this email the next day:
Just wanted to thank you for a fabulous evening. Most certainly the best quiz night that I have been to. Heard similar comments from many other people. it was all pitched so well and was hugely entertaining. Hopefully we will be back in touch for a similar event next year!.
Cheat: The quiz includes Man 2 Man & Man Parrish in the music round (see vid below), a massive 80s banger of Jurassic proportions.
After the relative intellectual fervour of the Argyle, a fast cab whisks me off to the Newsroom where the transient and the drunk dominate the scene. As I’ve said before, if you ever want to actually win a quiz, just come to the Newsroom.
Jackpot: A quasi-terrific £50
Cheat: The quiz includes the answer Argentina, as part of the picture round.