The other week I asked teams to come up with new events which might make the Glasgow Commonwealth Games (which is just a shit Olympics) more watchable. Here are some of the suggestions I received:
- Stabbing
- First One To Get To Greggs
- The Cripple Jump
- Quadraplegic Freestyle Masturbation
- Taps Aff Sauchiehall Street “Assault” Course
- Gardening / Best At Weeding
- 10 meter Muff Diving
- Shetland Pony Racing – One On Each Foot
- Up-hill Skateboarding
- Best Royal Insults
- Getting Back To Athletes Village On Bucky
- Wankathon
- Jousting On Pogo Sticks Plus 100 Metre Hurdle Finish
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