Commonwealth Games, But Better

The other week I asked teams to come up with new events which might make the Glasgow Commonwealth Games (which is just a shit Olympics) more watchable. Here are some of the suggestions I received:

a_scan017 a_scan018 a_scan019If you can’t read them:

  1. Stabbing
  2. First One To Get To Greggs
  3. The Cripple Jump
  4. Quadraplegic Freestyle Masturbation
  5. Taps Aff Sauchiehall Street “Assault” Course
  6. Gardening / Best At Weeding
  7. 10 meter Muff Diving
  8. Shetland Pony Racing – One On Each Foot
  9. Up-hill Skateboarding
  10. Best Royal Insults
  11. Getting Back To Athletes Village On Bucky
  12. Wankathon
  13. Jousting On Pogo Sticks Plus 100 Metre Hurdle Finish

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