Tuesday 6th February, 2024

So if the King is going to pop off then we’re going to need a replacement, assuming we haven’t left behind our national weighted diving suit of subservience.

However, as captured as our spirits are, I’m sure we can all agree that primogeniture is old hat.

So instead of simply defaulting to the next in line, let’s just appoint a good one.

Here’s a quick list of the four top candidates so far:

Les Dennis

Pros: Appeals to young and old alike. Harmless. Funny.

Cons: Can’t think of any

Jet out of (original) Gladiators

Pros: Super flaming red hot. Drives men nuts. Women too, it turns out.

Cons: Can’t think of any

Giant out of (new) Gladiators

Pros: Muscle-bound man-mountain and athlete. Would destroy other monarchs if a one-on-one is required.

Cons: Can’t think of any

Paul Coia

Pros: Good availability. Safe hands.

Cons: May not be famous any more. Possible decline of the royal brand

Who else could do a job? Let us know on the Facebook

Here are tonight’s real-life moments of pain and pleasure:

6.30 pm – Porty Tap (with Isla)

Jackpot – £90

Free answer – MUSIC round: “ZEDD

Book: 0131 629 6266 or Facebook

8 pm – Waverley Bar (with Bonni)

Jackpot – £30

Free answer – PICTURE round: “CILLIAN MURPHY

Book: 0131 557 9855 or Facebook

9 pm – Safari Lounge (with me)

Jackpot – £120

Free answer: PICTURE round: “SOFIA LOREN

Book:  0131 661 4741 or Facebook

With quiz and love,

Dr Paul

Music Round Clue for Porty Tap:

Here’s a song by ZEDD that’s in tonight’s music round at Porty Tap and just like last week’s clue, the song and the video involve a lady doing a murder. It’s just the way it goes sometimes.



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