I am a friend to you. I can help you. I can solve all of your problems. I am THE DOC. Come to my quizzes tonight.

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: P.I.L. are in the music round – see vid below.

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £120. Cheat: One of the answers for the pic round is Liberal Democrats

P.I.L. was John Lydon’s vehicle after he had finished being Johnny Rotten out of the Sex Pistols.

I only knew the singles, never got an album and I remember thinking at the time that I was never very sure if I liked the songs or not.

I still feel that way. I get his voice. But he never topped the Pistols. Pistols were ace.

By the way, anyone can win that lovely cash that lurks at the end of every Dr Paul quiz. Last week at the Brass Leith £50 in single-crispy form went the way of Andy. Look how happy it made him: