Instead of the jokes round the other week I tried a boast-off. I asked the question: “What is the best thing you’ve ever done?”

The answers varied from the heroic to the outrageous to the dumb to the lies. See if you can work out which is which from these selected highlights:

Apologies to Nicole Kidman, Nigel Havers, Ferne Cotton, Jane Seymour, Jessica Alba, Prince William and the bloke ou of Gladiators if any of these are innaccurate,