Well done to winners at last night’s quiz at the Newsroom: Lewis, Lewis and Cameron – aka the Bar Staff

YOU SHOUTING: “But that’s the bar staff! Fix!”

Hey – relax.

At my quizzes, the bar staff are never allowed to win anything. It’s just for the glory.

This comes from the early days in Glasgow when I had no such rule, a bar staff team won £100 and I was nearly lynched by steaming mad quizzers who believed that the whole thing was a filthy swindle. Not true – but since then I’ve saved myself the bother.

The quiz win was the start of a big weekend of win for one of the Lewises (Silvertongue Canavan) who will be rocking T in The Park this Sunday night.

You see, don’t forget to be nice to bar staff. That might be the next big star serving you. And when they become famous and they have a billion pounds and they remember the fanny that was clicking their fingers and failing to say “please and thankyou” and failing to tip, they will order the demolition of your house to build a bypass for their helicopter.

Why?

Because revenge is part of human nature and sometimes you are the problem.