Cactus looks like an erect penis with other foliage which could be read as balls. In Yang’s. I wait for beef, chicken and king prawn combinations.

Comfortable trousers, but I feel like a tramp.

Unusual counter at Yang’s with a hatch right in the middle. Normally you would expect the hatch to be be at one end.

FOH pretty grubby. Looks like it was painted about six years ago. Post red. Closer look: it’s clean enough but it’s worn. They don’t do Mongolian any more. It’s only on the old menu.

Brand challenge:

Othello is Reversi
Twix is Raider
Marathon is Snickers
Orange is EE
Cluedo is Clue
Vauxhall is Opel

There must be loads more but I can’t think of them now or at least I have run out of energy for it.

Suddenly I think of the dwarf from the Black Light theatre in Prague. He’s probably there right now – doing another show. He’s probably going to end up killing himslef.