The worst story I’ve heard all week was the one about a guy who was so drunk, he accidentally peed on his daughter.

This happened many years ago and I heard about it on Monday from a relative of the victim.

Stumbling about in the dark at home after a night out, this fella thought he was choosing the bathroom door, but it was not the bathroom door, it was his daughter’s bedroom.

And he entered, and he peed, not in the toilet that he imagined was in front of him, but on his daughter’s bed. Which she was in. She was about thirteen years old at the time.

The story was told to me by the victim’s sister who says that at least her sister has eternal leverage over her blundering and shamefaced dad. The pissy pappy. The shitfaced patriarch.

I honestly think it’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve been round Auschwitz.

No such outrages tonight. Everyone’s going to nice as pie tonight. No fools. Only you and your nice friends and lots of other nice teams.

Best jackpot tonight is £150 at Newsroom which, incidentally, is lower that the absurd and wonderful £200 that’s on offer at Hot Toddy this Sunday afternoon. Book now!

Brass Monkey Grange 7pm (with me)

Free answer: MUSIC round: “DIDO“
Jackpot: £50
Book: Phone 0131 667 2335

The Strathie 7pm (with Mr. E)

Free answer: PICTURE round: “OPAL“
Jackpot: £30
Book: Call Strathie on 0131 554 8717 or send them a message on their Facebook.

The Newsroom 9pm (with me)

Free answer: In the PICTURE round: “REMBRANDT“

Jackpot: £150
Book: Call Newsroom on 0131 557 5830 or use their online booking https://www.newsroomedinburgh.co.uk/book-now.html

With quiz and love,

Dr Paul

Meanwhile: