Monday 5th February, 2024

Stewart noted in his post this morning that a team at Porty Vault last night WOULD HAVE won the money because they got all the jackpot questions right but thought it was better to not hand in their answers, in case they got one wrong.

So they saved two pounds.

Sometimes I have people proudly tell me that they didn’t hand their answers in and were right to do so because, after hearing the answer, they realised that they would have gotten one or two wrong answers.

They are so very happy and proud, cos they saved two pounds.

I don’t want to puncture their happiness so I don’t often give my response out loud.

I just mutter under my breath:

“That two pounds, mister. And that two pounds is how my daughter gets fed. Now there’s no food on the table. You’ve saved two pounds but my daughter grows hungry and my anger grows too.”

One day someone’s didn’t-hand-in’ smugness will potentially snap a trigger, resulting in sudden brutal violence and a pool of blood on the pub floorboards. Afterwards, I’ll have to go to jail.

Then there’ll be no quiz for anyone.

Then let’s hear you brag about saving two pounds, bastards.

Just on the off-chance anyone is talking this seriously – it’s not. It’s a joke. I’m NOT going to hurt you for clinging on to that two like Scrooge. You’re safe.

Here are the quizzes tonight at which you can be safe:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith Walk (with me)

Jackpot – £50

Free answer – PICTURE round: “MATISSE

Book: 0131 554 5286  or Facebook or the Monkey’s online booking system

7.30 pm – Fisherrow Tap (with Brigid)

Jackpot – £30

Free answer – PICTURE round: “PAUL CEZANNE

Book: 0131 259 0399  or Facebook

8pm – Amber Rose (with Stewart)

Jackpot – £50

Free answer: MUSIC round : “MASKED WOLF

Book:  0131 226 1224 or Facebook

9pm – Brass Monkey Drummond St (with me)

Jackpot – £150

Free answer – PICTURE round: “PANSIES

Book – Nae bookings – just turn up. For info call the pub on 031 556 1961 or get in touch with them on Facebook

With quiz and love,

Dr Paul

Music Round Clue for Amber Rose Tonight:

This is MASKED WOLF, an Australian rapper and his hit song which appears in the music round at the Amber Rose tonight. Standard modern hip-hop. Not terrible. Not very exciting.



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