The Queen is the longest reigning monarch. That was established last month and I even had a drawing contest that was kind of a tribute.

This drawing contest happened in the same week but had a different theme. The idea is that the coverage of the Queen is officially that she is brilliant. But let’s face it, none of us is perfect. Surely the Queen must have done SOMETHING bad in her three hundred years of captivity?

Draw that happening.

1. Internet Piracy

The Queen here is using piratebay to circumvent paying for her movie fix. Bad Queen (with a massive cock and balls and a lizard tongue).

2. E4 to B7

The Queen is the most powerful piece in chess. But even she cannae move from E4 to B7. No one can. Not Chuck Norris. Not David Hasselhoff. Not even Dougie Donnelly.

3. Child Abuse

Here’s the Queen, accidentally-on-purpose smashing a champagne magnum off a child’s head instead of the big iron ship she’s supposed to be launching. This may have happened.

4. Still Bad in 2015

It was the Queen who killed Cecil the Lion and it was The Queen who stood on Aylan Kurdi’s head and made him drown. That’s the vision of this contributor anyway, who had enough guilt to write “I am appalled that I drew this”.

5. Fast Food Murder

The Queen shooting the KFC chicken. Seems a reasonable use of power, to be fair.

6. Humping Scotland Right Up The Stranraer

Stuart handed this in himself after his team banned him from handing it in on behalf of them. But it won the contest anyway. The Queen is  shown as a massive lizard, fucking Scotland right in the arse (Stranraer).

8. Paris

1997: The streets of Paris, a swan on her head, Diana last moments in front of her and an orphan being dragged to its death on a rope behind. Queen loving it, and having a drink.

9. Actual Murder

Similar story, one of the more realistic renderings.