Hi *|FNAME|*
See all the stuff in your house? Wizardry it is. Like actual magic.
Now you might be an engineer who actually understand this stuff but how many of us can actually describe exactly how a kettle works, for example?
As far as I’m concerned, I fill the pot, flick the switch and then it makes a noise, gets hot, rumbles a bit as it reaches the boiling climax and then the water is hot and I can have a coffee.
It’s a bloody miracle, but if society was to break down and shops were to finish, I would have NO IDEA how to reconstruct or create a kettle.
Same goes for the toaster, the running water, the artificial light, the flush toilet, the shower, the heating – and these are the basics of our lives. Been there since I was a kid and before.
I could probably just about put a shelf together out of wood and nails but there’s no denying it would be ropey. That’s the limit of my tech-skill.
Same goes for work. As I was setting up at the Joker last night with a mess of spaghetti-cabling, Andy said
“You would think all this stuff would be wireless by now.”
I said
“Well yes, but I wouldn’t trust it. I’ve used wireless mics before and they always fail. Battery, signal, etc. I trust a nice wired connection. Electrons in, electrons out – however it works…”.
And then I realised – I have NO IDEA how the stuff I use actually works.
I speak, the microphone reacts, sends an electrical signal. This signal goes through the mixer, down an audio cable, into the pub’s amplifier amplifier which does something else to the signal and then sends it along more wires to the speakers which then – using only a vibrating diaphragm of material, somehow replicates my voice, but bigger and louder.
It’s absolutely insane. Total witchcraft. Like a toaster.
Then I play music which is encoded in ones and zeroes and then somehow unscrambled and fed through the same audio cables and out from speakers in to the air so you can hear the music round and all the delicious tunes I play in between.
Amazing
So thank you and well done to all the engineers who made possible what I do for a living. I have no idea how you did it. I salute you.
Anyway – here are the quizzes and answers for tonight:
Brass Monkey Grange 7pm (with me)
Free answer: In the MUSIC round: “SAINT ETIENNE“
Jackpot: £50
Book: Phone 0131 667 2335
The Strathie 7pm (with Mr. E)
Free answer: In the PICTURE round: “BRISTOL“
Jackpot: £60
Book: Call Strathie on 0131 554 8717 or send them a message on their Facebook.
Newsroom 9pm (with me)
Free answer: In the PICTURE round: “ELECTROLUX“
Jackpot: £50
Book: Call Newsroom on 0131 557 5830 or use their online booking https://www.newsroomedinburgh.co.uk/book-now.html
With quiz and love,
Dr Paul
Leave a Reply