Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £60. Cheat: Happy Feet (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: East 17 (music round)

Wednesday poos all over the faces of the other days. It’s like day of the week- PLUS. It’s better than Saturday, and that’s saying tsomething. Wednesday is always excellent.

If Wednesday were a biscuit it would be dark chocolate digestives. If Wednesday were a pop band it would be Queen/E.L.O./Human League supergroup. If Wednesday were stained glass, it would be stained glass penis. If Wednesday were a Christmas, it would be Christmas 1985

Did you know about the time Brian Harvey out of East 17 ate too many baked potatoes and , as a result, ended up running himself over with his own Mercedes? It sounds hilarious but the true story is hardcore. He says it WASN’T a suicide attempt.

Anyway, their limp-as-old-celery cover of an already-limp Pet Shop Boys song is in the music round at the monkey tonight. Be prepared!