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Monday 13th January 2020

Quizzes Tonight:

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £50. Cheat: Mister Sneeze (pic round)

7pm – Portobello Tap. Jackpot: £60. Cheat: Glasvegas (music round)

9pm – Argyle Bar Jackpot £180. Cheat news: Yoshi (pic round)

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £60. Cheat news: Metro Station (music round)

Mondays are the cool night where the coolest radges and radgettes stalk the streets, impervious to the midweek stay-at-home demand issued by The Corporation.

Monday is free spirit night.

Cheats

Here are the music round cheats for tonight

The first is for the Portobello Tap and is by a Scottish band called Glasvegas. The style reminds me of 80s bands like The Mighty Wah and The Damned (not when they were proper punk but when they did ‘Eloise‘)

Glasvegas

And the music round cheat for the Safari Lounge is a far more annoying set of musicians: some Yanks called Metro Station.

They have all the charm of shitehouse bland bands like Maroon 5 and Train, distilled through the unerring self-confidence of American youth.

Who knows? They might well be nice guys in real life but I’ve watched the video and based on that, I reckon they’re a squad of dicks.

I looked up this band. They are classed as “Scene”. Makes you think.

Anyway – even the most annoying music round clip only exists for about 20 seconds, so don’t let Metro Station be the reason you avoid the quiz tonight.

Come and join us – be one of the cool people – people who DO go out on a Monday. And remember the ferociously large jackpot at Kerry’s quiz at the Argyle tonight: £180 British pounds

See ya later,

Dr Paul

Still reading? Follow the quizzes on mad TWITTER, or nice Instagram

£180. Enough to retire (in some countries)

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Wednesday Night Pub Quiz

Quizzes tonight:

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £90. Cheat: Viven Leigh (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30 Cheat: One Republic (music round)

Here’s the music round cheat for the Monkey:

This is the most average thing I have ever heard. It makes Maroon 5 sound like the fount of personality.

It sounds like Orson, Train and all those other American bands that sounds the same.

Last.fm describes OneRepublic as ‘genreless’.

That’s not true. I can name the genre. The genre is “American Pish”

By the way, last chance to play Dead Pool for June is either tonight or tomorrow.

Hope to see you at the quiz tonight

Dr P

 

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The New Political Elite, 2036

You think the US Presidential race is weird? It’s never as ludicrous as student body elections.

It’s that time of year again at Edinburgh University which I visit on a monthly basis to get my quiz printing. I have no idea who these people are or what they’re really like, but I like to make snap judgements based on the image.

Remember, although student politics is a joke, these people are one hundred per cent serious. Campus elections are their training grounds and they WILL be your real-life overlords in about 20 or 30 years from now.

1. Alec

Here is a cold, calculating political lizard trying his utmost to look like a breezy ‘dude’ who loves to relax with cocktails, Hawaiian style. The hair gives him away.

 

edinburgh uni election posters ALEC

2. Chris Belous

You can’ say anything about Chris cos if you did Chris would hunt you down, no-platform you, boycott your quiz and take you to court. So I’m not saying saying anything other than to mention the crafty use of a gender-association=free first name.

Wise choice, man.

edinburgh uni election posters CHRIS BELOUS

3. Esther

So posh, that no policy is required

edinburgh uni election posters ESTHER

4. Hannah

Party hair does it’s very best to distract from the cold political eyes that will destroy anyone who stands in her way to become VPS number one.
edinburgh uni election posters HANNAH

5. Harriet

Harriet’s brown front room furniture is standing for yellow/beige issues. Oh hang on, there’s the actual Harriet. I’d lost her in the beige.edinburgh uni election posters HARRIET

6. Jenna

“Making Your Agendas My Agenda” is a work of neo-comic genius, one of those things that nullify satire by making parody impossible. Guaranteed Secretary of State for something at some point in the future. Perhaps Secretary of State for Soupl, Salad and Juice Bars.

edinburgh uni election posters JENNA

7. Jess

I would immediately vote for Jess for breaking the hegemony of oblongs and creating a HEXAGONAL campaign. True genius and therefore bound to lose.

edinburgh uni election posters JESS

8. Leah

Come on Leah, make a fucking effort.edinburgh uni election posters LEAH

9. Maddie Payne

The first I spotted to employ a surname. Which leads to the horrific #NoPayneNoGain. Rubbish.edinburgh uni election posters maddie payne

10. Matt Stone

Once Matt Stone hooks up with a decent graphic designer, he’ll be unstoppable. He has that Technocratic smoothness that voters seem powerless to stop themselves voting for.edinburgh uni election posters MATT STONE

11. Patrick Garratt

Unapologetic posh boy. Unafraid to use Tory colours. Massive prominence given to own name. Insouciant smirk of the wealthy. Most likely to become Prime Minister.edinburgh uni election posters PATRICK GARRAT

12. Tal

“MY privilege is YOUR equal opportunity”. Nice “Save the poor” font.edinburgh uni election posters TAL

12. Theo

Will be battling the other posh white chap for President. Preferably with horse and lance.edinburgh uni election posters THEO

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.