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Beast, News

Sunday Night – Good Jackpots Are On Offer Tonight. Will You Be Tempted Out

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Tonight’s quizzes :

6pm – The Persevere. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Moscow (pic round)

8pm – Tolbooth Tavern. Jackpot: £120. Cheat: Heart (music round)

Both jackpots have reached a good level for tonight’s quizzes. Will you be tempted out of your nest and your Netflix and your solitude and your depression?

I thoroughly recommend making a social out of Sunday before the creeping darkness of loneliness overcomes you.

Here is the music round cheat info: a clip from tonight’s music round at the Tolbooth:

 

FACT: This pop video has more hair than the cat and dog home at Portobello. It is great.

By the way, if you see Phil Collins anywhere on the internet, remember to alert the authorities, as his campaign to control the mind of every living soul is gaining ground.

Whatever you do, don’t look him in the eye.

Turn away.

Still Reading? Join my Twitter for more Dr Paul fun and wisdom.

 

 

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Dr Paul's Blog, The Reverie

Beast Burger Drawing Contest

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The kitchen at the Reverie came up with the BEAST BURGER last Monday which is made out of orphans.

To celebrate, we staged a quick BEAST drawing contest in which you had to draw Phil Collins engaging in an act of evil.

Here are the entries (click on any of the pics to see full size):

Phil Collins is wanking over a bonfire of orphans.

Phil Collins is reading a book by Jeffrey Archer

Phil Collins is imagining Sarah Palin for president of the USA while tending a drum full of dead babies.

Phil Collins is using his stick-man powers to bestride a burger on top of a flaming drum kit.

Phil Collins is about to insert his cock in a child who has been tempted to bend over by a tin of beans which the Beast has laid as bait.

Phil Collins is knifing a sad monkey.

Phil Collins is surfing Japan’s deadliest tsunami for 140 years.

Dan who works at the Reverie is a proper artist and picked the wanking-over-the-bonfire of orphans effort as the winner.

Nick from POINTLESS BIRTHDAY picked up the burger but, as it happens, had already had his tea and so passed the burger on to THUNDERCUNT who later declared the burger to be “a bit gak” but what do you expect when its made out of children?

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Reverie

Beast’s Body Part Beat Nemo

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Team NEMO had to be on their mettle to win at a busy Reverie by six clear points. But win they did and look how happy it made them:

Team Nemo
Team Nemo

Stewart even won Top Trumps to come face to face with the awesome power of The Beast.

Question: What is Phil Collins’s favourite part of a woman’s body?

A. Face

B. Back

C. Neck

D. Feet

Answer- NECK, because it reminds him of strangling orphans. Unlucky Steart, FACE was not the right answer. Rollover for next week: £40.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Reverie

Let’s Get Quizzical Are Good Anyway But Then Along Comes Stewart

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Stewart is in the top rank echelons of DP Quiz legends. He wins a lot through sheer hard work, lots of knowledge and (occasionally) moaning his face off.

When he teams up with another super-powerful DP quiz entity, its going to be difficult for the other teams in the house and that’s how it proved to be at The Reverie on Monday.

Let's Get Quizzical
Let's Get Quizzical

Winners, winners, winners but alas they came to ultimate jackpot grief on the horns of THE BEAST and we have a rollover at Reverie which now adds up to £80 next Monday.

The Riddle of The Beast this week was all about his favourite flowers. The answer is Marigolds which, of course, are the flowers of DEATH. You see, there’s always a logic to the Riddle of The Beast.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

Old Venues

Team 37

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Team 37 were so good at winning the quiz at Jenny Ha’s this week that their score exceeded their name!

Ben
Ben from Team 37

That’s the chap they sent up to have a go at the Jackpot (I *think* his name is Ben – but I cannae quite recall).

Anyway: Ben, if that is his name, totally got reamed by the Beast. It was like Postman Pat versus the Ultimate Warrior in a super pose-down.

And that means we have a rollover for next week: £40 it’ll be.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Reverie

Beast Burns More Victims

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Phil “The Beast” Collins was at work again last night, setting a trap for the unwary members of IT’S BASED ON THE COIN.

quiz team ITS BASED ON THE COIN
It's Based on The Coin

The Coin, it has to be said, came back superbly from a medicore performance to STORM the minefield round with a blazing ten out of ten while all around them were losing their heads and scoring minus points.

I don’t understand this: when you’re looking at a minus two – why guess on a question like: In Thoms The Tank Engine, what colour is Duck (out of Thomas the Tank Engine)? People are guessing yellow and brown? I’m thinking: wtf?

Anyway, IT’S BASED ON THE COIN aced the last round, dealt with the challenge and finally faced the Beast for £40 in real cash.

beast vs dan
i will kill you

Question:

Q. What is Phil Collins’s favourite way to kill a witch?

A. Burn her

B. Hang her

C. Drown Her

D. Cut her head off

The answer of course is :A) burning.

The reasons? Burning is the traditional method and Phil Collins likes traditional things, like Christmas. Also, burning hurts the most. Also – there’s “No Jacket Required” when you’ve got a nice fire on the go.

Burn, bitch. Burn forever. BEAST.

The Coin – STUPIDLY – chose “hanging. Durh!

Sixty quid next week.

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.

The Reverie

Superheroes Swashbuckle To First

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The SWASHBUCKLING SUPERHEROES came from behind to snatch the quiz from the hands of LETS GET QUIZZICAL and the SEVEN BLUNDERS OF THE WORLD in an exciting finish to last night’s Reverie quiz which was as tight as a quarter pound of mince for your dinner.

Swashbuckling Superheroes

Alas, they were let down on the Top Trumps and that allowed LETS GET QUIZZICAL to face the Riddle of The Beast. Yep – Collins is back.

Unfortunately, it turns out that Phil Collins’s religion is NOT Buddhism. It’s Christianity (for the ultra-violent imagery). So we have a rollover £40 next week and it will be the Riddle of The Beast again until someone can STOP PHIL COLLINS…

For cheats and hints to win Dr Paul quizzes in Edinburgh, get the weekly email.