Alcohol Wins Again

Booze triumphed again at The Newsroom. In the midst of sober and sensible  teams who had come in to win the quiz, there was a random gang  of 8 or so office-party-friends under the title BUSTER HYMEN AND THE FIRST TIMERS.

Buster Hymen & The First Timers

They were into downing the sauce and exposing parts of their bodies. The threat was that, later on, they were all gonig to go and  have sex together in a hotel.

A post-mortem revealed that there was no clear reason how they won. But win they did  -case of Heineken – BOOM!

Second place was CONSOLIDATED – champagne  – BOOM!

Eventually the chap from the three young fellers sitting near me got a  chance at the money but they couldn’t understand the Riddle of The Beast and we  have a rollover up to £20,000  next Thursday (22 April)

Anyway – maybe the other teams should drink more Vodak And Coke or Sambucca.

Whatever fuelled these banjos was obviously working!

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Beast Burns More Victims

Phil “The Beast” Collins was at work again last night, setting a trap for the unwary members of IT’S BASED ON THE COIN.

It's Based on The Coin

The Coin, it has to be said, came back superbly from a medicore performance to STORM the minefield round with a blazing ten out of ten while all around them were losing their heads and scoring minus points.

I don’t understand this: when you’re looking at a minus two – why guess on a question like: In Thoms The Tank Engine, what colour is Duck (out of Thomas the Tank Engine)? People are guessing yellow and brown? I’m thinking: wtf?

Anyway, IT’S BASED ON THE COIN aced the last round, dealt with the challenge and finally faced the Beast for £40 in real cash.

beast vs dan
i will kill you


Q. What is Phil Collins’s favourite way to kill a witch?

A. Burn her

B. Hang her

C. Drown Her

D. Cut her head off

The answer of course is :A) burning.

The reasons? Burning is the traditional method and Phil Collins likes traditional things, like Christmas. Also, burning hurts the most. Also – there’s “No Jacket Required” when you’ve got a nice fire on the go.

Burn, bitch. Burn forever. BEAST.

The Coin – STUPIDLY – chose “hanging. Durh!

Sixty quid next week.

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£100 Goes in One Swell Foop

Grum, the sharp-shootin’ darts master from ONE SWELL FOOP was the hero as the team who have been threatening a victory for so long at both The Reverie and Jenny Ha’s, finally delivered in a brilliant final round at Jenny Ha’s which left their rivals scratching for chicken feed.

one swell foop
One Swell Foop Win £100

Grum took the challenge as the situation moved to the Jenny Ha’s dart board and he needed to score forty points to win the ton.

first dart was a single seventeen, good steady stuff. However dart number two landed in the single 6, leaving Grum with 17 required on the final arrow.

Taking his life in his hands and praying to all the saints of darts, Jocky, Eric and Phil – Grum slotted his final dart straight and true to the single 20 and, that’s the CHAMIPONSHIP.

A hundred pounds in cash IS a hundred pounds in cash. If you were to try and argue otherwise, you wold lose.

Hoorah for ONE SWELL FOOP!

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£30,000 near miss at Newsroom

We finally got a putting winner at the Newsroom on Thursday. Champion in the quiz was the team known as THE EDITOR who in actual fact was Stewart

Despite the overall shit-ness of the DP quiz digital camera, I managed to capture a blurry image of Stewart just about to nail the final putt to take the scratchies.

The Golden Putt
The Golden Putt

Oddly enough, Stewart was also part of the league winning team from March, so he also picked up the million pounds scratchies.

Stewart wins four quid!
Stewart wins four quid!

Grand total of winnings from a possible £1,030,000 : FOUR QUID. Still, it could have been the start of serious wealth. You’ve got to be in it to win it.

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