Scotland: Best World Cup Losers?

Billy Bremner 1974
Billy Bremner sets up this question with an incredible miss against Brazil in 1974

One of THE TRUMPETS said to me at Jenny Ha’s the other day: “Here’s a good pub quiz question for you: Q. Which is the only country to be put out of the world cup without losing a game? A. Scotland (in 1974)

This is a part of Scottish football legend: that only ourselves would be so unlucky as to be put out of the world’s top footy tournament without even losing a game! Of course, Scotland did become loss-less losers in 1974, drawing with Yugoslavia and Brazil after beating Zaire…

              P  W  D  L   Gls  Pts
YUGOSLAVIA    3  1  2  0  10- 1   4
BRAZIL        3  1  2  0   3- 0   4
Scotland      3  1  2  0   3- 1   4
Zaïre         3  0  0  3   0-14   0

…But I had a niggling doubt about the unique-ness of the claim and sure enough, I’ve found a few other countries who can claim this, including our old friends/foes from down South.

England (Spain 1982)

England also achieved this distinction of being losers who never lost in 1982. Aftter winning all three of their first phase games, England then ground out two 0-0 draws against Spain and West Germany in the second round. This was in the days when FIFA still had group phases beyond the first round, a tournament feature which was used in various World Cups prior to 1986 when knockout from the 2nd round onwards became standard.

Brazil (Argentina 1978)

Brazil themselves were loss-less losers in 1978 when they beat Peru and Poland in the second phase, only to draw 0-0 with hosts Argentina and go out on goal difference. Brazil went on to beat Italy in the 3rd place playoff, so despite a tournament record of W4, D3, L0 – they  failed to become champs.

Cameroon (Spain 1982)

The teams above at least qualified for the second phase but Scotland aren’t even the only team to go out of the first round without losing a game. In 1982 Cameroon ‘achieved’ this after three draws in the opening phase saw them going home on goal difference behind eventual winners Italy.

Belgium (France 1998)

Belgium cemented their reputation for boredom in 1998 by drawing all three group games with South Korea, Mexico and Holland. Three points wasn’t enough and they were out. So you see, Scotland are not quite unique in World Cup misfortune and I find that kind of comforting. Apparently the original question was on the radio somewhere: Real Radio or Forth FM. Which just goes to show: don’t believe everything you hear!

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Quiz Agression Channeled Through Jokes Round

This is what happens when one quiz guy rips the answers out of another quiz guy’s hand during the bonus round and the victim is not brave enough to issue a direct  verbal challenge, preferring  instead to wait until the jokes round to get me to issue  the challenge under the guise of a joke.

snap crackle popFortunately, no blood dirtied the pavement outside the Reverie and everyone went home smiling although you get the feeling that the bad feeling lingers to this day, and someone might just snap, crack or pop one of these days…

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Hi De Fucking Hi!

I was hired by Reverie regulars Michelle and Keith to do a quiz at their wedding which went off on Sunday and was a dazzling success. (Email me to discuss terms for weddings).

Anyway, apart from me being ace, the other highlight was meeting Ruth Madoc who happened to be married to the bride’s uncle (who is NOT Paul Shane).

ruth madoc meets dr paul
And later on we'll be having the knobbly knees contest in the Hawaiian Ballroom.

Now, I normally don’t rattle the celebrity cage but Gladys Pugh was a favourite of mine so I notched up a gormless celebrity stalker snap and here it is.

Time has been kind to Ms Madoc. Or has she had work done? Who cares? Gladys – you are my favourite yellowcoat of all time. Cowabunga!

the old days:


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So Nearly The Hat Trick

The last two times that the Reverie jackpot has gone up to £100, GOOGLE EYED did the job and took home the cash.

After threatening to do it again on Facebook yesterday, the team turned up as usual (except minus the brainy female one and plus two boozy males) and proceeded to win the quiz.

pub quiz winners
pub quiz winners

So the booze was theirs but after dealing with Warship Top Trumps to qualify for the final, David (far right) had to face the Riddle of The Beast and Phil Collins was in no mood for giveaways.

Q. What is Phil Collins’s favourite Greggs?

A. Sausage Roll

B. Macaroni Pie

C. Steak Bake

D. Chicken Slice

David from Google Eyed chose the chicken slice but he was wrong! Of course, the answer was steak bake because a cow has to die and since its bigger than the otehr animals (pig, chicken), there is MORE PAIN.


£120 next week. By the way – the World Cup doesn’t affect the quiz. We’ll start at 9.30pm, right on the final whistle of whatever banal marketing-fest, sorry, group game, is on the telly.

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Quizzical Win Again

LET’S GET QUIZZICAL are the most successful all-female DP Quiz team of all time. Coming out of nowhere like a bolt of lightning sometime around the end of 2009, Let’s Get Quizzical tried a few names out for size before settling on their familiar moniker which has led them to so much success.

Last night was another Jenny Ha’s feather in their cap as they steamrollered a classy 10 out of 10 on the Minefield but unluckily, Rachel was blindsided by the King of Diamonds. Should have tried the rubber egg.

Stewart (as opposed to the other Stuart) from THE TRUMPETS tamed the rubber egg and confronted the Beast but Phil Collins’s tangled web of truth was impossible to unpick and there is a rollover for next week.

£40 next week.

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Postcode Challenge Wants You

Angus Purden of Postcode Challenge
Angus Purden

STV’s Postcode Challenge is hosted by a man called Angus (right) who misses out the “o” in “correct” and subsequently annoys pedantic viewers with his irksome “krect”.

If you can put that minor irritation behind you, it may well be worth applying as the show is looking for new ‘talent’ now.

You need a team of four and you need to be linked by a postcode. As  far as I can see, this can be pretty spurious.

What are your chances? Well, the contestants on the episode I just watched on STV’s iplayer thing knew fuck all about fuck all and you would definitely have beaten them to get in the final.

Winning the money itself is certainly tricky cos every team member has to get the answers right to win £25 grand, but you should come away with £5000 between 4 punters. Not bad, likes!

Application forms can by requested by emailing or by calling 0800 747 1717. Tell ’em the Doc sent you.

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A team recently suggested, after confidently answering a French Horn question in the picture round, that I compile an  entire quiz (or maybe just a whole round) solely on the subject of horns.

French Horn
The Horn

It shall be called “Horn Quest”

I’m not quite sure how this will work. But I’m game.  Stay tuned.

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Arise For It Is Day

Right, from now on, we’re having a wee contest every Friday. Just answer the question by leaving a comment below or emailing me.

First correct answer will win an amazing scratchcard, worth TEN GRAND!

OK – first up is a picture question.

Q. Which building in Edinburgh is this piece of work attached to?

Dr Paul Quiz puzzle - where in Edinburgh?Leave an answer in the comments. If you give the first correct answer you are the winner and you can pick up your prize by coming to a quiz during the week.

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