Jesus Christ. It’s December.

Christmas party people are not necessarily the worst people in the world. There are always Nazis, foxhunters, Tory landlord scum, Harold Shipman, and others ahead of them on the list.

But they are near the top of the list: with their ties around their foreheads and their weeping accountancy team members who long ago surrendered all dignity and happiness to the booze but would not go home at that point and now cannot go home without a great deal of support.

These are the people who ask if their turn on the karaoke is coming up, despite it being a quiz. These are the people who tell me to shut up and play something good while the good people struggle to hear question three over their braying and wailing and bellowing. These are the people who make a massive wet, disgusting, food-smeared mess of the table like, tiny actual toddlers. That’s Christmas, folks!

Anyway, the good news is that this isn’t fully in the swing of things yet. The next two weeks should be mainly OK and then the week and a half or two weeks before Christmas, that’s when it starts getting nasty. And, to be fair, on my beat this is mainly confined to the Newsroom, cos its the city centre.

Anyway, take the opportunity while you can and get yourself to a quiz before all the Christmas Wanks come out of their holes.

TONIGHT:
The Joker & The Thief – 6pm

Walk-ins ought to be OK, but to make sure of a table you can book. Send the Joker & The Thief a message on Facebook or call them on 0131 556 3274

Jackpot tonight: £30

Cheat answer: BREAD (in the music round – see video below)

Brass Monkey Shore – 8.30pm

The Brass Monkey Shore which is at 44 Queen Charlotte Street in Leith, opposite the Police Station. 

Try a walk-in or book a table you can easily do so by phoning the pub 0131 554 1979.
They serve tasty food from the kitchen. Try it. Hmmm. Nice.

Jackpot tonight – £50

Cheat answer: Tonight’s Monkey Shore quiz includes BARCLAYS (in the PICTURE round)

Hopefully I’ll see you at one of these splendid pubs tonight.