QUIZZES TONIGHT

7pm – The Joker & The Thief. Jackpot £60. Cheat: Mariah Carey (pic round)

9pm – Brass Monkey, Drummond Street. Jackpot £30. Cheat: Velvet Underground (music round)

Come on. Let’s get into our best clothes and go to the quiz. There will be princes, paupers and pop stars all there. And maybe pandas. What a rare and precious midweek delight.

CHEAT TIPS

Tonight’s music round at the Brass includes the Velvet Underground who are the kind of people who look really cool but if you get within ten feet of them you can smell the self-doubt.

The video includes rapid zoom pull techniques which must have seemed like an actual revolution at the time and now just seem like a drunk kid is in charge of the camera.

God damned hippies.

What’s better are the Spanish subtitles which bring internationalism to the video, e.g: ‘Estoy esperando a mi hombre’

Is Spanish the coolest language? Put of the ones I can think of, Spanish is up there. Greek is obviously the greatest and Russian is pretty cool because it always sounds like someone is about to die.

Italian’s great as well: it gives you the sense that anything being said is absolutely the most important statement of all time.

English is funnier – but that’s probably because I understand it. Like Ha Ha.

Asian languages? I haven’t got a clue.

Anyway – tonight’s quizzes are in English. If you want me to translate the questions, I can – but the translation will be sub par. It’ll be like listening to a wired 5-year-old trying to explain their day to you. You know: you’ll get the odd word but overall it’ll be an incomprehensible mess.

I wish I was a linguist.

See you at the quiz tonight

See you later,

Dr P

Remember to follow Dr Paul Twitter for fact attacks and  and Instagram for pretty pics.

To roast other teams, ask questions of the quizmasters or generally chat, join Dr Paul Quiz Facebook Group