Here’s my new poem. To be honest, it needs some work.

EDINBURGH BUSES

For Easter Road fun
Catch the 1

If you’re posher than me
Ride the 23

If you need to be at the airport late
The 35 is perfectly great

For noisy junkies the 14 is best
That’s why they call it the Methadone Express

Buses out West are nowt to do with me
The 4, the 12 and the 33

I think those numbers go to the “Gyle”
Whatever that is beyond the Western Miles

And nae cunt knows
Where the 13 goes