If You Can’t Handle Going Out On A Monday It’s Because You Have Become Old

Rollovers last week. Good jackpots tonight.

7pm – Brass Monkey Leith. Jackpot: £100. Cheat: One of the answers in the music round is Glasgow’s favourite band: Bis. See vid below

9pm – Safari Lounge. Jackpot £150. Cheat news: one of the answers in the picture round is Katherine Hepburn who won so many Oscars she had to move to a house with a bigger mantelpiece.

Bis were the best. I knew the producer of this song. I was there it was Glasgow in the 90s and it was better than falling into the machine at a paper factory.

I also know that cos I was there. I remember some primary school trip to a factory where they made paper.

I can remember the smell (cooky-porridgey-pleasant) and I remember that they cut the rolls of paper with extreme water jets.

I remember the warning that these jets of water were so concentrated and so powerful that they would have your finger off.

With a warning like that, none of us fucked about. Maybe it was just control-the-kids nonsense. Maybe it was fake news and you could have safely waggled your fingers in the jet and nothing would happen?

I wish I could remember where the paper factory was.

I always think of it if I’m ever going up Comiston Road in Morningside so maybe it was round there somewhere. I don’t know.

If you think you know where it might have been, let me know.


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