The jackpots tonight are smaller than they were last week. That’s because here at the quiz, we make winners and last week we had winners.

People look so good when they win. Add your name to the roster, tonight.

The Argyle, 7pm

Situated in Marchmont, poised underground like a terror-crab.

Jackpot: Tonight you can win £30 in cash. It won’t save the whale. But it might get you pished.

Cheat: I can tell you this: The picture round contains the answer ‘Bride Wars‘

The Newsroom, 9pm

Uptown sophistication (in the minds eye of those who drink there).

Jackpot: Tonight you can win £50 in cash money dollar-pounds

Cheat: The music round contains the heady 90s sound of En Vogue which you can pre-hear by clicking on the video below. I bet you know the tune.

And by the way, speaking of tunes – what tune is this supposed to be? The musical note doodles indicate a tune is being applied – but I don’t know what tune it is. If you can help with the answer, tweet me...