THE PERSEVERE – 6PM – Cheat: “Beenie Man” (see vid at end of post)

THE TOLBOOTH TAVERN – 8PM – Cheat: “Jenny Saville”

Aye, read that carefully, it’s Jenny, not Jimmy.

Did I tell you about the time I met evil paedophile Jimmy Savile?

Basically what happened was that I went to Fort William, knowing that Jimmy Savile would be there in his capacity as Chieftain of the Lochaber Highland Games. This was round about 2002, 2003.

I wanted to meet the Sav and grill him but this was before global knowledge of his paedo ways. The thing I wanted to hold him to account for was basic racism.

The story began a few years previously when I won a copy of “God’ll Fix It”, while playing a drunken game of darts in Glasgow.

The book turned out to be pretty mental and basically catalogues the (Christian) religious beliefs of a man who was, at that time, one of Britain’s biggest entertainers. It’s full of banter about Jesus and God who he refers to as “The Boss” or “The Big Man”.

In one of the early chapters, Savile dismisses the whole of Islam in one go. I don’t have the book any more so this is not a direct quote, but it went something like this:

Do other religions have the wrong God? Yes, I think they do. Why? Well, look at the Arabs, even now they are living in squalor. They must be praying to the wrong fella.

Obviously this was written a while ago, so I wanted to ask the Sav if he still held the view that Muslims had the “wrong God” based on perceived standard-of-living, particularly given the vaulting wealth of places like Dubai.

I genuinely wondered whether someone who travelled so much and met so many people could be so closed-minded. I wanted him to be brighter than that, as I enjoyed his radio broadcasting style. When he wasn’t diddling, he was quite funny. I wanted to give him a chance.

So we got the bus up to Fort Wiliam, and there he was, leading the parade with his tartan trousers, Claymore sword and pink John-Lennon-glasses. Everyone cheered, as this was before his demise.

Later in the afternoon he was going round the stalls and I caught up with him. I produced the book for him to sign and he plainly hadn’t seen a copy for a while. “Oh my goodness – I think I remember this!” he said.

So then I asked him if he still believed what he had written, particularly about other religions. He apologised and said that he wrote the book a while ago and couldn’t necessarily remember what he had written. Fair enough, so I reminded him of the passage above.

“So do you still believe that Muslims have the wrong God?”

Savile’s previous geniality and joviality immediately turned steely and the friendly mask dropped.

“Yes.” he said, razors in his voice, “Yes, I do still believe it. And you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because…” he thundered, stabbing the book with his finger on every syllable, “No one has EVER proved it to me otherwise. Not ever. Good day to you.” And off he stormed to the shortbread stall.

And that was that. What a cunt.

Anyway, tonight’s cheat answer for the music round at the Percy is Beenie Man. The song is this: